Goodbye Prudey McPrude and hello Slutty McSluttenstein!

Grace- [on the phone] Yes. This is Grace Adler of Grace Adler Designs. I was in there yesterday. I told you I would be back today. And now you're telling me you're all out? Do you know how much business I've given you over the years? How much money I've spent? You idiots never make enough chili. [Slams down the phone]

(Jack prepairing to tell his mom he's gay)
Grace: You'd think after 30 years it'd be liberating.
Jack: Oh no, we're not telling her I'm 30!

(Jack prepairing to tell his mom he's gay)Grace: You'd think after 30 years it'd be liberating.Jack: Oh no, we're not telling her I'm 30!

Grace-[to Jack] Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whoopins and right now, I'm all out of lollipops.

Grace- If you're looking for your Aunt Karen, she's not here. She doesn't work on days that end with..."day."