Good news, ladies and gentlemen; we have finally located weapons of mass destruction. ... It's Dick Cheney, We can't get bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney.

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

This morning brings news from Florida that the final vote count there shows that Secretary (Dick) Cheney and I have carried the state of Florida, ... And if that result is confirmed by an automatic recount as we expect it to be, then we have won the election.

Crediting Dick Cheney and this administration's policies with the success of Harley-Davidson - or any other American manufacturing plant - is like awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to China for its actions at Tien An Men Square.

If President Bush told Dick Cheney to do something, rather than the other way around, that would be a first for this White House. If, as these documents suggest, President Bush authorized Dick Cheney to authorize the leak only after Dick Cheney first authorized the President to do so, then the whole situation starts to make a little more sense.

[Dick Cheney took two opportunities this week to declare publicly that 75-year-old Rep. Charles Rangel, D-N.Y., seems to be] losing it. ... a lot older than I am, and it shows.