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Ambrose Bierce quote: "GENEALOGY, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own."

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GENEALOGY, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.


Ambrose Bierce


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Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY
PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban d...
AMBROSE BIERCE
No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT
He left no trace apart from the local papers and Doyle's own account of the case. He really had to b...
JULIAN BARNES
I was mad of course and still am, but harmless, I passed for harmless, that's a good one. Not of cou...
SAMUEL BECKETT
Here’s to all the places we went. And all the places we’ll go. And here’s me, whispering again...
JOHN GREEN
I'm not interested in dating a girl I'm not gonna marry
JOHN GREEN
The future will erase everything--there's no level of fame or genius that allows you to transcend ob...
JOHN GREEN
Seeing eye to an eye is a must, especially when there lies a case, or an intent, to meet; even by in...
PRIYAVRAT THAREJA
The fate of the young man in his headphones, who faced a jail cell that very night, did not seem suc...
ZADIE SMITH
[Responding to the Bishop of Oxford, Samuel Wilberforce's question whether he traced his descent ...
THOMAS HENRY HUXLEY
Everyone has a brick wall in their genealogy. Not too many people can trace their lineage back all t...
JUDITH JOHNSON
My theory on literature is an author who does not indulge in trashiness-writes about people you coul...
BOOTH TARKINGTON
Williamson County is an extremely bright jewel in the health care environment. We're not naive enoug...
ROB HARDY
When Darwin published his conclusion that man was descended from an apelike ancestor who was again d...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The power of heart is much stronger than the power of mind to empower our life.
ANUJ SOMANY
ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Every man is his own ancestor, and every man his own heir. He devises his own fortune, and he inheri...
FRANCIS HERBERT HEDGE
I told him his account of the incident did not match what others who had witnessed it had told. You ...
FRED DAVIS
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE
Every man is his own ancestor, and every man is his own heir. He devises his own future, and he inhe...
FREDERICK HENRY HEDGE
JUDGE, n: A law student who marks his own papers.
H. L. MENCKEN
I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descen...
W. S. GILBERT
When you have nothing nobody knows you. When you have something everyone knows you. If you're not wi...
REGINA MARIE CHRISTENSON
My father always told me, "Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
JIM FOX
Live for today with your eyes on the future.
THOMAS FLAJNIK - ANTICHIMERAPODAL
Don't let anyone blind you with their criticism, you're just beautiful.
AMAN JANGDA
Everyone is good at something as long as they love that something.
ARDIT BALISHA
The hardest step to take is always the first one.
THOMAS FLAJNIK - ANTICHIMERAPODAL
To rule an iceberg, you must swim,.. Deep. Pour régner sur l'iceberg, il faut savoir nager en profo...
CARL MATHIEU
Behave with kind with surrendorist, but behave with cruelty with enemy.
NITIN S DHARKAR
Words are magic to those who chose to listen, to those who don’t are bones.
PABLO D. RODRIGUEZ
şarabın gazabından kork
çünkü fena kırmızıdır
kan tutar / tutan ölür
s...
ATTILâ İLHAN
Words have a genealogy and it's easier to trace the evolution of a single word than the evolutio...
DANIEL DENNETT
History, n. An account mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Clergyman, n. - A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of betterin...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Without awareness, every one of us is at risk of living trapped, an unfulfilled trace of our self, b...
THE TRUTH
HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by ruler...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Live to fight another day was an expression that did not take nto account the loved one who would di...
ROBERT LIPARULO
Many labourers can trace their descent from farmers or well-to-do people, and it is not uncommon to ...
RICHARD JEFFERIES
Now that I am alone, I don't have to hide it; I don't have to hide anything any longer. I can let my...
ROALD DAHL
And then it was the kind of dark your eyes never adjust to.
JOHN GREEN
but there was no denying her smile. That smile could end wars and cure cancer.
JOHN GREEN
El pasado es una historia lógica. Es el sentido de lo que sucedió. Pero como el futuro todavía no...
JOHN GREEN
Kau bisa melihat masa depan kalau kau punya pemahaman dasar tentang bagaimana orang akan bersikap
JOHN GREEN
Masa depan terbentang di hadapannya, tak terhindarkan namun tak kasat mata
JOHN GREEN
And even though he felt pitiful and ridiculous, he didn't want it to end, because he knew the absenc...
JOHN GREEN
Dumpers may not always be the heartbreakers, and the Dumpees may not always be the heartbroken. But ...
JOHN GREEN
Collin Singleton could no more stay cool than a blue whale could stay skinny or Bangladesh could sta...
JOHN GREEN
En inglés, Borogove’” I said. “But what if I don’t finish this painting in
time?” TERRY BISSON
There is only one true aristocracy . . . and that is the aristocracy of passionate souls!
TENNESSEE WILLIAMS
Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other,...
IMMANUEL KANT
He who does not know how to give himself an account of three thousand years may remain in the dark, ...
JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE
The leftist is anti-individualistic... He is not the sort of person who has an inner sense of confid...
THEODORE J. KACZYNSKI
[It] is not a monkey, not an ape and not a human, but it's a common ancestor of them all.
RUSSELL L. CIOCHON
He who boasts of his descent, praises the deed of another.
SENECA (SENECA THE ELDER)
For anyone is an upstart who rises by his own efforts from his previous position in life to a higher...
ADOLF HITLER
A friend of ours has a hobby doing genealogy, and we found out that we were cousins in the ninth deg...
MARION ZIMMER BRADLEY
My child died last night—and now I shall be alone again, if I must really go on living. They will ...
STEFAN ZWEIG
I would like to restore, to the West, its genealogy, ... We have less and less history and it seems ...
THOMAS CAHILL
I have tremendous respect for Christopher Darden, and I recognize him as an individual of integrity,...
STERLING K. BROWN
ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
She did not question his advice nor did she realize she could seek an opinion from us.
HELEN JONES
reality comes from giving an account of yourself. (Augie March)
SAUL BELLOW
The difference between leader and boss is that leaders set the rule for themselves to take along fol...
ANUJ SOMANY
you can not understand what i feel for you. because your heart beats for some other one.
PRASOON DWIVEDI
i am not rich, but my heart is enough rich that you can stay there for the rest of your life.
PRASOON DWIVEDI
Keeping an eye on own self is an Introspection.
JYOTSNAJHA
Watching on one’s doing and what he should do for his desires is an Introspection.
JYOTSNAJHA
We are all but slaves to an ideal
ELYMOR JAN B. HERNANDEZ
Strength is not a virtue of the strong but an illusion of the weak
ELYMOR JAN B. HERNANDEZ
Things change, and so do people. The only thing that doesn't change are the memories ❤
DAZZLїиG_Бципу
Death is the conclusion of an everlasting essay.
ROSA M. BETANCES
It's easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
LEONARDO DA VINCI
For what is a man if he is not succesful in love
DANIEL ROBERT O'NEILL
What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by yo...
STEPHEN D'MELLO
I liked that young man, did not you? There was something particularly pleasing about his manners, wh...
GEORGETTE HEYER
He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adher...
KARL KRAUS
You looked ridiculous walking around the city carrying an empty wineglass. I don't care to be associ...
DANIELLE L. JENSEN
But I account the use that a man should seek of the publishing of his own writings before his death...
FRANCIS BACON
Place yourself as an instrument in the hands of God, who does his own work in his own way.
SWAMI RAMDAS
...The Qur'an cannot be translated. ...The book is here rendered almost literally and every effort h...
MARMADUKE WILLIAM PICKTHALL
You don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened.
JOHN GREEN
Thus we arrive at the singular conclusion that of all the information passed by our cultural assets ...
SIGMUND FREUD
Every believer should be an apostle since each believer is sent by the Lord Jesus to go and bear fru...
HENRY HON
The world takes us at our own valuation. It believes in the man who believes in himself, but it has ...
ORISON SWETT MARDEN
Faith, I know nothing about it; I am my own ancestor. [Fr., An, ma foi, je n'en sais rien; moi je ...
ANDOCHE JUNOT (DUC D'ABRANTES)
Only free people have an incentive to be virtuous. Only people who bear the consequences of their ow...
HARRY BROWNE
When I was four or five, I had an older brother who got paralyzed from the neck down in junior high ...
SCOTTIE PIPPEN
We just didn't take care of business. The last two games we had an opportunity to make the playoffs ...
DIANA TAURASI
FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The idea that other perspectives exist may not be obvious to those who are in an emotional state of ...
NABIL N. JAMAL
Miracle: to love more with an irreparable heartache
NICOLA AN
Success is more a function of consistent common sense than it is of genius.
AN WANG
Markets change, tastes change, so the companies and the individuals who choose to compete in those m...
AN WANG
The hermit doesn't sleep at night, in love with the blue of the vacant moon. The cool of the breeze ...
CHING-AN
No matter how complicated a problem is, it usually can be reduced to a simple, comprehensible form w...
AN WANG
When you pass through, no one can pin you down, no one can call you back.
YING-AN

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Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE
OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
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Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
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Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE
As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE
Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
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A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
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Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
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A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
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An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
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An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
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Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
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Habit is a shackle for the free.
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Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
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Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
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Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
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The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
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When in Rome, do as Rome does.
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To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
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Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
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Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
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Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
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Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Woman absent is woman dead.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
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A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
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Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
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Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
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ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
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Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
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ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
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Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
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Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
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DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
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HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
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ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
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YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
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Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
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Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
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One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
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OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
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Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
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When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
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Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
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ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
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LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
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Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
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Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
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Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
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Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
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Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
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Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
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The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
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TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
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Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
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Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
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