Funny, nothing ever happens nowadays.


Edgar Bergen

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I think there's a lot of, unfortunately, unfunny ventriloquists out there, so they've got a ...
JEFF DUNHAM
Nothing bad ever happens without equal or growth
SOURCE UNKNOWN
Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will
JOHN GREEN
If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all.
JOHN GREEN
If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all
JOHN GREEN
News travels fast in places where nothing much ever happens.
CHARLES BUKOWSKI
...nothing ever happens quickly (except when it does). Nothing is ever, ever easy (except when it is...
ALLY CARTER
All that happens means something; nothing you do is ever insignificant.
ALDOUS HUXLEY
This is unexposed film of Greenwich Village because nothing ever happens there.
WEEGEE
Nothing that ever happens is so unimportant that it doesn't change things.
DAVID EDDINGS
Nothing ever happens in the world that does not happen first inside human hearts.
FULTON J. SHEEN
I feel that nothing important ever happens that is not revealed to me beforehand.
ANNE HUTCHINSON
This means a lot because Edgar was one of the best hitters I've ever seen.
DAVID ORTIZ
Nothing happens, and nothing happens, and then everything happens.
FAY WELDON
Nothing happens, and nothing happens, and then everything happens
FAY WELDON
The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work.
G. K. CHESTERTON
The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work.
GILBERT K. CHESTERTON
It's strange because even in the vaudeville days, ventriloquists were never the main attraction....
JEFF DUNHAM
I was asking Charlie the most important questions, and you heard the answers.
EDGAR BERGEN
Hey kid, do you want to come and talk to Charlie?
EDGAR BERGEN
So many people are working in vaudeville today that I looked for three weeks to book enough acts for...
EDGAR BERGEN
OK, magic boy, let's see who you really are.
EDGAR BERGEN
But Charlie, Charlie, how can we ever really know anything? Charlie, what or who is God?
EDGAR BERGEN
After 13 years of life on the half shell in Hollywood, I have made a trip where I wasn't a touri...
EDGAR BERGEN
I've never told you the story of Alice in Wonderland, have I?
EDGAR BERGEN
Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot.
EDGAR BERGEN
You find out your mistakes from an audience that pays admission.
EDGAR BERGEN
Nobody seems to know yet how television is going to affect the radio, movies, love, housekeeping or ...
EDGAR BERGEN
Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
EDGAR BERGEN
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
EDGAR BERGEN
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
EDGAR BERGEN
Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot.
EDGAR BERGEN
Maybe it is the war or the movies or because this generation was bred on radio comedy, but I found o...
EDGAR BERGEN
OK, magic boy, let's see who you really are.
EDGAR BERGEN
Charlie, what is nature of life?
EDGAR BERGEN
I've never told you the story of Alice in Wonderland, have I?
EDGAR BERGEN
To think that this was once Happy Valley.
EDGAR BERGEN
We had to have a star each week... Possibly our program being on Sunday and having a little fun with...
EDGAR BERGEN
A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada.
SAMANTHA BEE
Nothing good ever happens by itself - it is achieved through striving, though this sometimes bears a...
ANTONIO MUNOZ MOLINA
Nothing can be said nowadays which has not already been said
TERENCE
Nothing ever happens if we don't make it happen. Best pages of our life are yet to open. – Shahwan...
MUHAMMAD SHAHWAN TARIQ
Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
OSCAR WILDE
Sometimes students find it funny when it happens to someone else.
CHRIS AUSTIN
Sometimes in the most tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens.
DAVID HYDE PIERCE
Nothing, like something, happens anywhere.
PHILIP LARKIN
Nothing is really real unless it happens on television.
DANIEL J. BOORSTIN
Happiness is about a moment.  The moment.  Its not a switch that gets thrown and nothing bad ever ...
TRIPP MILLICAN
I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are...
KEVIN DILLON
Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will… but then again, if you don’t imagine, nothing eve...
JOHN GREEN
Nowadays nothing but money counts: a fortune brings honors, friendships, the poor man everywhere lie...
OVID
No one can be an unbeliever nowadays. The Christian Apologists have left one nothing to disbelieve.
HECTOR HUGH MUNRO
I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion.
ANTHONY ANDERSON
There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothi...
J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI
Nothing happens until something moves.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Nothing happens until something moves.
MARCUS AURELIUS ANTONINUS (MARCUS AURELIUS)
Nothing happens until something moves.
SIR JOHN DENHAM
Nothing, like something, happens anywhere.
NEIL GAIMAN
In radio, they say, nothing happens until the announcer says it happens.
ERNIE HARWELL
If you ever feel funny, you probably are.
SEAN KEVIN SWEENEY
Open your mind to new experiences, particularly to the study of other ­people. Nothing that happens...
P.D. JAMES
Nothing is inevitable until it happens.
A. J. P. TAYLOR
I've nothing funny to say, but thank you,
JULIAN CLARY
No organization is stronger than the quality of its leadership, or ever extends its constituency far...
EDGAR POWELL
Nonintervention does not mean that nothing happens. It means that something else happens.
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more.
ROALD DAHL
Without promotion, something terrible happens... nothing!
P. T. BARNUM
Nothing happens unless first a dream.
CARL SANDBURG
Nothing happens unless first we dream.
CARL SANDBURG
Without promotion something terrible happens... Nothing!
P.T. BARNUM
Nothing happens unless you first move.
SRAVANI SAHA NAKHRO
A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.
BARBARA CORCORAN
It's funny, but when you're not paying attention and not looking for love is when it happens,
RAQUEL WELCH
Nothing happens by chance in this world
SUNDAY ADELAJA
Nothing happens to a person lacking ambition.
SCOTTIE SOMERS
Nothing in this world happens by chance.
PAULO COELHO
Nothing in this world happens by chance
PAULO COELHO
A young person, to achieve, must first get out of his mind any notion either of the ease or rapidity...
EDWARD WILLIAM BOK
A young person, to achieve, must first get out of his mind any notion either of the ease or rapidity...
EDWARD BOK
And also what steps have been taken by the Michelin teams to make sure nothing like this ever happen...
MAX MOSLEY
There's nothing less funny than someone who looks cool. There's nothing more unappealing.
ERIC WAREHEIM
Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful.
SAMUEL BECKETT
Poetry is what happens when nothing else can.
CHARLES BUKOWSKI
When two prideful people meet, nothing really happens
DEICY ZULEICA GONZALEZ
No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was.
ANNIE LEIBOVITZ
Nothing ever came from it, but clearly there was a need even then for more space. It's funny to look...
DANNY WEBB
In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT
If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not f...
CALVIN TRILLIN
The republic is a dream, Nothing happens unless first a dream
CARL SANDBURG
My heart goes out to these police officers. They're fighting public apathy, racial division and a dy...
PETER SCHARF
They were not merely quipsters and storytellers, nor were they only song and dance entertainers. The...
STANLEY GREEN
It's the largest golf market in the world, and there's always a demand for public, affordable golf h...
BRIAN HAGUE
I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one e...
RACHEL DRATCH
Detective fiction could not have existed without Edgar Allan Poe.
GILES FODEN
The sky was the color of Edgar Allan Poe's pajamas.
TOM ROBBINS
It could be that nothing happens. It all depends on whether it happens close to the elections or not...
ANGELA KELLY
There is nothing to fear in this world. Whatever happens, it happens to the body-complex [relative-s...
DADA BHAGWAN
Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.
ALAN MOORE
It's funny, because it was my first time ever in that pool, too.
CASEY FOSSUM
You know, nothing is ever happily-ever-after. Ever.
CHARISMA CARPENTER

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I was asking Charlie the most important questions, and you heard the answers.
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Hey kid, do you want to come and talk to Charlie?
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So many people are working in vaudeville today that I looked for three weeks to book enough acts for...
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OK, magic boy, let's see who you really are.
EDGAR BERGEN
But Charlie, Charlie, how can we ever really know anything? Charlie, what or who is God?
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After 13 years of life on the half shell in Hollywood, I have made a trip where I wasn't a touri...
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I've never told you the story of Alice in Wonderland, have I?
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Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot.
EDGAR BERGEN
You find out your mistakes from an audience that pays admission.
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Nobody seems to know yet how television is going to affect the radio, movies, love, housekeeping or ...
EDGAR BERGEN
Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
EDGAR BERGEN
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
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Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
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Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot.
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Maybe it is the war or the movies or because this generation was bred on radio comedy, but I found o...
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OK, magic boy, let's see who you really are.
EDGAR BERGEN
Charlie, what is nature of life?
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I've never told you the story of Alice in Wonderland, have I?
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To think that this was once Happy Valley.
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We had to have a star each week... Possibly our program being on Sunday and having a little fun with...
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I saw my first Broadway show when I was 10 years old. I saw 'Big: The Musical' and I remembe...
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It's impossible to be more flat-chested than I am.
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Were women meant to do everything-work and have babies?
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People see you as an object, not as a person, and they project a set of expectations onto you. Peopl...
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I couldn't hold it together today. George Clooney asked me if I was OK, and I practically collapsed....
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I admit that Post-it note sheets that adhere to virtually any surface are now my substitute of choic...
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But it was hard to leave because the show's been so important in our lives.
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It's impossible to be more flat-chested than I am.
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I was getting offers. I had just turned them down. Then I realized I should be grateful that at age ...
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I have never savored life with such gusto as I do now.
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I guess I was a mom so late in life, my daughter was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
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Were women meant to do everything - work and have babies?
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Glamorized... am I glamorous?
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I got the role I loved the most at a point in my career when most women are being phased out.
CANDICE BERGEN
I certainly love doing comedy and feel most comfortable near it.
CANDICE BERGEN
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
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When are you going to realize that if it doesn't apply to me it doesn't matter?
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I didn't have a financial need, and I wasn't very gifted at relationships. I probably was mo...
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At an age when most actresses are being phased out, I am being phased in - with a vengeance.
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Beauty set up distance between other people and me. It warped their behavior.
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Dreams are, by definition, cursed with short life spans.
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People see you as an object, not as a person, and they project a set of expectations onto you. Peopl...
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Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don't waste a second demolishing it brick by...
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Memory is the first casualty of middle age, if I remember correctly.
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An editor is an accomplice, looking in from the outside. That objective view is essential. We don...
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Incompetence is a better explanation than conspiracy in most human activity.
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Mohammed Taheri-Azar, a naturalized U.S. citizen hailing from Iran, crashed his SUV into a crowd at ...
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There is no necessary connection between the desire to lead and the ability to lead, and even less t...
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[T]here is wisdom in the selection of wisdom.
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We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us.
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Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable.
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Wisdom is meaningless until your own experience has given it meaning and there is wisdom in the sele...
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There is no necessary connection between the desire to lead and the ability to lead, and even less t...
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Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom to think. And there is no ...
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The Trump administration launched the cruise missile strikes in Syria, an act of war, without a U.N....
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In the public's mind, Special Forces are often confused with the 'door kickers' of Speci...
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ISIS despises the Russian government for its support of the Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad, and so ...
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When ISIS and al Qaeda have attacked or plotted attacks in the West in the past decade or so, they h...
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Both China and Russia felt duped by the U.N. 'no-fly' zone resolution regarding Libya in 201...
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Wisdom is meaningless until our own experience has given it meaning.
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The mere abhorrence of vice is not a virtue at all.
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In mid-November 2001, as they moved toward the city of Kandahar, the Taliban's de facto capital ...
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The commonly accepted definition of terrorism is that it is politically motivated violence directed ...
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The Green Berets of U.S. Special Forces 5th Group - known as 'the Legion' - who led the anti...
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I get tips from Bob Gaudio. And one of my songs somehow caught the attention of one of my idols, Mar...
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This is not rhetoric. This is for real.
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There's overwhelming evidence bin Laden was behind the attacks of September 11. If the family choose...
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Saddam Hussein was put on notice that he can't do those type of things.
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The purported will states, 'Attack them on the sea. Attack them on the land. Attack them everywhere....
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At night, temperatures here fall below the freezing point.
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Glamorized ... am I glamorous?
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What bin Laden had hoped to achieve in Afghanistan in the post-9/11 period, which was to drag the Un...
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One meeting does not make a conspiracy. Saddam Hussein does not engage in these types of acts.
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We've been consolidating radar services literally for decades. When we do this, we make optimum use ...
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Why not just flip the two and have the team thing at the end?
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She's a kid that'll go through a brick wall for you.
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I'd seen the show, and I'd read the reviews of the show, and I said, 'Oh! What I wouldn't give to wo...
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I love the sort of cat and mouse with Denny Crane and that's really fun to play,
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When are you going to realize that if it doesn't apply to me it doesn't matter?
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-Because they're free.
-They might look free, but they aren't. Believe me. You're free.
-H...
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Typically, terrorist attacks produce a rally-around-the flag effect as was the case after 9/11 and t...
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Anne Richard, a senior U.S. State Department official, testified at a Senate Homeland Security Commi...
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Bury the shit when you can and fess up if you can't.
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The special reverence that al Qaeda had for Sheikh Rahman was underlined by a two-hour propaganda vi...
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In Yemen, the United States conducted more drone strikes in 2016 than any year except 2012, the peak...
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Bin Laden was intelligent, well-informed, and low key. The people around him treated him with great ...
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For an entire fleet to have to remain on the ground is unusual, but keep in mind that this fleet is ...
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The accident has to be completely investigated.
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He left behind his cowboy boots and luggage but he came back and the police were there.
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We never saw the plane on radar or had any contact with the aircraft.
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Of course, anyone who is planning to go to the impacted airports will not be going there and, other ...
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It is a complex airplane and someone would have to be an experienced pilot to fly that type of aircr...
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I think my writing was certainly shaped from having lived in a place like Niverville as well as by t...
DAVID BERGEN
You are only as good as your last book, and so there has to be a book.
DAVID BERGEN
As a writer, I'm always aware of the fact that there are so many books out there.
DAVID BERGEN
I tend to push whatever is looking over my shoulder away when I am writing. It's once the box of...
DAVID BERGEN
In my brief writing life, it means I am still lucky that I have at least one more novel to complete....
DAVID BERGEN
What fascinates me as a writer is the stuff underneath, To me, what drives a novel is the curiosity ...
DAVID BERGEN
I always have a book that I use that somehow inspires my novels.
DAVID BERGEN
That's the novelist's job: to peel back the layers and look underneath.
DAVID BERGEN
I like characters who are contradictory.
DAVID BERGEN
One day, at my office, I wrote down some names and dates and notes, and I wrote a title, 'The Ag...
DAVID BERGEN
Failure is essential. Trial and error is necessary.
DAVID BERGEN
-And what would you do if you lost a child?
-I would think I was going to die, Elena said. But ...
DAVID BERGEN
Words mean nothing. They are like the husks of the coffee Bean. They cover what is essential, which ...
DAVID BERGEN
I've never felt more comfortable in my skin, I've never enjoyed life as much and I feel so l...
CANDICE BERGEN
I believe a lot in monogamy, let me tell you.
CANDICE BERGEN
As a person, I'm just really kitchy and corny, and I love '70s variety shows.
ERICH BERGEN