For Jared, making music is very personal and cerebral so for him to open up and share the experience is difficult.

He really wanted to buy an electric guitar. But they're expensive, so he said, 'Hey, let's make one.' We went and bought all of these tools and books, and the next thing you know, we're building an electric guitar. Fifteen hundred dollars later ? twice the cost of any good electric ? we had it.

But we were terrified to play those songs live. We're a real balls-to-the-wall, rip-your-face-off kind of band, and for us to slow it down, there's a natural reaction to wonder 'What if nobody wants to hear those songs?' What if we start playing those songs and our fans are freaking out?

We're here to mop up the mess that was left behind.

There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy, stifling state in which most people pass through life. I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun - hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks. People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case." I will turn and say to them "It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!" And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.

I now have 20 years experience conducting Mahler's Second Symphony and studying all of Mahler's music. About the same amount of time I concentrated on finance and the media. I suppose I know more about Mahler now than I know about finance. But someone else would have to decide whether I was a better executive or conductor.