For if there is anything to one's praise, it is foolish vanity to be gratified at it, and if it is abuse - why one is always sure to hear of it from one damned good-natured friend or another!

The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed

To smile at the jest which plants a thorn in another's breast is to become a principal in the mischief.

Fertilizer does no good in a heap, but a little spread around works miracles all over.

There is nothing on earth so easy as to forget, if a person chooses to set about it. I'm sure I have as much forgot your poor, dear uncle, as if he had never existed; and I thought it my duty to do so.

A bumper of good liquor will end a contest quicker than justice, judge, or vicar.