Football hooligans - well, there are 92 club chairmen for a start.

At last they've got a manager who speaks better English than they do

I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball? He might grab mine.

I'm dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done.

Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.

Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when they go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life.