Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.

Love is my favorite drug; I overdose on it regularly.

Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.

The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.

An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.