Everything fell apart in me. How are things with you?

Let the mind beware, that though the flesh be bugged, the circumstances of existence are pretty glorious.

Camminavo nella sera piena di lillà con tutti i muscoli indolenziti in mezzo alle luci della 27a Strada nella Welton nel quartiere negro di Denver, desiderando di essere un negro, sentendo che quanto di meglio il mondo di bianchi ci aveva offerto non conteneva abbastanza estasi per me, e neppure abbastanza vita, gioia, entusiasmo, oscurità, musica, né notte sufficiente. Mi fermai a una piccola baracca dove un uomo vendeva peperoni rossi caldi in cartocci di carta; ne comprai un po’ e li mangiai, passeggiando per le buie strade misteriose. Desiderai di essere un messicano di Denver, o persino un povero giapponese stremato dal lavoro, tutto fuorché quel che così tristemente ero, un ‘uomo bianco’ disilluso.

Il mondo mi deve un paio di cose.

The whole town had instantly gone to bed; the only noise now was barking dogs. How could I ever sleep? Thousands of mosquitoes had already bitten all of us on chest and arms and ankles. Then a bright idea came to me: I jumped up on the steel roof of the car and stretched out flat on my back. Still there was no breeze, but the steel had an element of coolness in it and dried my back of sweat, clotting up thousands of dead bugs into cakes on my skin, and I realized the jungle takes you over and you become it. Lying on the top of the car with my face to the black sky was like lying in a closed trunk on a summer night. For the first time in my life the weather was not something that touched me, that caressed me, froze or sweated me, but became me.

For the first four years of my life, while he lived, I was not Ti Jean Duluoz, I was Gerard, the world was his face, the flower of his face, the pale stooped disposition, the heartbreakingness and the holiness and his teachings of tenderness to me, and my mother constantly reminding me tonpay attention to his goodness and advice.