Either a municipal bog is a private place or it isn't. If it is a private place in which to shit, how is it not a private place in which to fellate?

I'd missed this so much, this simple pleasure. The sensation of a heavy shaft sliding over my tongue, pushing deeper and deeper into me until my lips bumped against my hand.

Sex without smiling is as sickly and as base as vodka and tonic without ice.

He tastes of rice with a touch of saffron. He says I taste of seafood. I guess we'd make a good paella.

THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You're totally welcome, guys. P.S. Girls can't see this sentence!!!!!)