Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure-that of being Salvador Dali

It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself

I am going to my room to masturbate before I have a light lunch, if you would like to come and watch

There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.

It is either easy or impossible.

I shall be so brief that I have already finished