Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?

Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.

Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.