Do you know why dogs are man's best friend? It's because they're not in politics.

When an eighty-five pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it's hard to feel sad.

I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair.

Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.

What do you do with your best friend? You do nothing.

I was always the leading man's best friend's best friend.