Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

There is no suggestion box in the Psych Ward.

He took a long draw then asked, “What’d I do?”
“You knew about the guy threatening my dad?”
He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn’t funny. “They told you?”
“Why, no, Swopes, they didn’t. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher’s knife.

The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don’t know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.