Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

We're more effective than birth control pills.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will.

I knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Blow in it's ear.