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DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.


Ambrose Bierce

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MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA History is on every occasion the record of that which one age finds worthy of note in another.
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CHARLIE WEIS Each soul has its own note to sing in the divine chorus and no voice is more important than another....
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STEPHENIE MEYER Nothing that God ever made is the same thing to more than one person. That is natural.
ZORA NEALE HURSTON All modern MIDI synthesizers are capable of polyphony, which means they can play more than one note ...
CHARLES PETZOLD The only thing that makes one place more attractive to me than another is the quantity of heart I fi...
JANE WELSH CARLYLE The more one forgets himself - by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love - the...
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FRED ROGERS Life is just more comfortable if you're honest and open about everything. I spent so many years bein...
ANTONY SHER That a society controls, to a greater or lesser extent, the behavior of its members is a universal; ...
KENNETH L. PIKE Authority is not a quality one person has, in the sense that he has property or physical qualities. ...
ERICH FROMM Just what is it that America stands for? If she stands for one thing more than another it is for the...
WOODROW WILSON Just what is it that America stands for? If she stands for one thing more than another it is for the...
WOODROW T. WILSON You can't replace one dog with another any more than you can replace one person with another, but th...
POLLY HORVATH One person's objectionable is another person's bottom line. I think it's shortsighted of them, but i...
MARTHA BURK The one thing women love more than money is power.
D. L. HUGHLEY A nation is a thing that lives and acts like a man and men are the particulars of which it is compos...
JOSIAH GILBERT HOLLAND Authority is not a quality one person 'has', in the sense that he has property or physical q...
ERICH FROMM He who would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars: general Good is the plea of the sc...
WILLIAM BLAKE He who would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars: general Good is the plea of the sc...
WILLIAM BLAKE He who would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars; General Good is the plea of the sc...
WILLIAM BLAKE One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND Bear in mind, Sancho, that one man is no more than another, unless he does more than another.
MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.
ALDOUS HUXLEY We lost the hose, the note, quite a bit of evidence there. It was just one thing after another.
BRUCE BARTLETT The more one forgets himself—by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love—the...
VIKTOR E. FRANKL If I have found favor in thy sight, and if it be possible, and if I be meet therefore, shew me then ...
COMPTON GAGE There's always a moment when you start to fall out of love, whether it's with a person or an idea or...
DOUGLAS ADAMS What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.
JOHN GREEN Knowledge is that which, next to virtue, truly raises one person above another.
JOSEPH ADDISON I'm no more or less antisocial than the next person.
DAMIAN LEWIS The manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be e...
DEAN ACHESON The manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be e...
DEAN GOODERHAM ACHESON The type of thing that one person would get mad at, another person would laugh at, is a good kind of...
NATHAN FIELDER Many people shift from one topic to another while conversing or from one story to another while conv...
APURVA GAGLANI Man is such a wondrous being that it is never possible to count up all his merits at once. The more ...
NIKOLAI GOGOL Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. Ther...
QUENTIN CRISP It is a disgrace to say one thing and think another; but how much more disgraceful to write one thi...
SIR WALTER SCOTT It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible Gods and Goddesses. To remember that the dull...
C.S. LEWIS The life of every person is like a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another.
JAMES BARRIE No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his rel...
NELSON MANDELA To collaborative team members, completing one another is more important than competing with one anot...
JOHN C. MAXWELL Power is the element of trust by one or many, allowing one to make a decision. Trust is the element ...
RICHARD JEONG Being genuinely happy for the successes of another person adds joy to our day. When one person succe...
RHOBERTA SHALER, PHD The real nightmare, worse than the one in which the Big Machine wants to kill you, is the one in whi...
BENJAMIN H. BRATTON One person can make a difference. In fact, it's not only possible for one person to make a differenc...
BOB RILEY Bravery is the choice to show up and listen to another person, be it a loved one or perceived foe, e...
ALARIC HUTCHINSON Is is seldom possible to say of the medievals that they *always* did one thing and *never* another; ...
THOMAS CAHILL It's one thing to get these students to take these classes, it's another thing entirely to have them...
HEIDI CARTER Few people in contemporary art demonstrate much curiosity. The majority spend their days blathering ...
CHARLES SAATCHI To sit in judgment of those things which you perceive to be wrong or imperfect is to be one more per...
WAYNE DYER To sit in judgment of those things which you perceive to be wrong or imperfect is to be one more per...
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PATSY CLINE If there is a species which is more maltreated than children, then it must be their toys, which they...
JEAN BAUDRILLARD High energy creates more energy, more energy, more energy. It kicks off synapses, I guess. It opens ...
MICHAEL KEATON There is no such thing as a model or ideal Canadian. What could be more absurd than the concept of a...
PIERRE ELLIOTT TRUDEAU I would like another week or two, if possible.
MICHAEL DOWELL He who would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars: General Good is the plea of the sc...
WILLIAM BLAKE To think or care for another more than you think or care for yourself & to think or care for yoursel...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) If you want to feel rich, try to sell the thing which you love more than yourself.
VIKRANT PARSAI If there was one thing worse than being cheated, it was being cheated by someone who referred to the...
CHRIS WOODING A rise in the 10-year Treasury note is leading investors to flee from Brazil, which is more risky.
ALEXANDRE VASARHELYI A person who is another man's slave is better than one who is a slave to lust.
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WALTER PATER I thought it was awesome. It just adds one more thing to his legacy ... as if he needs another thing...
ADAM VINATIERI Rejecting people for who and what they are will not make you a better, more 'righteous' or more 'mor...
CHRISTINA ENGELA The modern developments of economic science in relation to rent indicate progress. For we are learni...
ALFRED MARSHALL Note to self; nobody will ever invest more in you then yourself. So why are you trusting the hand of...
SCOTTIE SOMERS Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields.
PETER BORDEN I don't stay in one discipline because it's more lucrative than another. In fact, the most s...
PATTI SMITH If we put all of our eggs in one basket they will beat us another way. They can run the football, th...
VICTOR ABIAMIRI One person can make a difference. In fact, it's not only possible for one person to make a diffe...
BOB RILEY No one point is more important than another.
JEFF SHAFFER We will more than double the space that we’re in now, which is just a blessing because we’re sitti...
CHARLES DAVIS In marriage, is it cheating when one spouse prefers to be with another person. Or, is it just being ...
LORRIN L. LEE Note that no one asked Mike if his code was open source or if his underwear is clean.
DAVE WINER Nowadays when a person lives somewhere, in a neighborhood, the place is not certified for him. More ...
WALKER PERCY Beethoven said that it's better to hit the wrong note confidently, than hit the right note unconfide...
MIKE NORTON I've always thought that one of the least successful encounters is meeting a writer one admires....
HANYA YANAGIHARA One thing leads to another. Therefore, it is important to engage in the things or with people you ad...
LORRIN L. LEE If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mank...
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MONA SIMPSON Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
ROBERT HEINLEIN The one encouragement we can always give our children (and one another) is that God is more powerful...
ELYSE M. FITZPATRICK By declaring that man is responsible and must actualize the potential meaning of his life, I wish to...
VIKTOR E. FRANKL Nothing is more repugnant to me than brotherly feelings grounded in the common baseness people see i...
MILAN KUNDERA If I were in a room full of people, I'd rather be the person who is more interesting than the on...
MARILYN MANSON a person is quite literally not able to think of anything that is not possible outside their body, f...
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SUSAN SONTAG A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.
MARY KARR

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Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE