Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.


Carl Reiner

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Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.
CARL REINER
At one point, I thought that maybe humor was the best way to deal with it. I figured maybe I should ...
MARC LEVIN
I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot about life from Carl...
DICK VAN DYKE
Her father had brought her a bookbag. It had pencils and pens in it and even a yo-yo to play with. S...
PHYLLIS HUNTER
I was thrilled to work opposite Carl Reiner and Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner was very chatty and delig...
JANEANE GAROFALO
Carl Reiner. He had an entrenched sense of glee; he used humor as a gentle way of speaking difficult...
STEVE MARTIN
It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're wri...
RACHEL WEISZ
I was always a big fan of Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner's '2000-Year-Old Man' sketch. I thi...
SCOTT AUKERMAN
Sometimes these kids just picked up a stick and scratched letters on the ground. Their parents could...
CHRIS CHAN
Whats the point of changing everything about your lover? you dont love them entirely for who they ar...
AMIR RIVEROLL
Writers are such phonies: they sometimes have wise insights but they don't live by them at all. That...
ANNE SEXTON
If you really want to make it easy on yourself, put a calendar, pens and pencils, stamps and envelop...
CATHERINE WILLIAMS
When you go somewhere like Kenya and you see how the children don't have pencils and pens, and a...
NAOMIE HARRIS
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dea...
YAKOV SMIRNOFF
Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently d...
JIM GAFFIGAN
The extremists are afraid of books and pens, the power of education frightens them. they are afraid ...
MALALA YOUSAFZAI
Of all the ways of acquiring books, writing them oneself is regarded as the most praiseworthy method...
WALTER BENJAMIN
Let's face it, the great comedians now that are handicapped in the looks department are tremendo...
JACK BLACK
Pepper Dennis. Not only do they have a great voice as they have proven on 'Pepper Dennis,' but they'...
GARY NEWMAN
Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it's hard for giant egos to...
DICK CAVETT
They don't really know who they are until someone sits them down and gives them the chance to think ...
EMILY LAND
i dont like when people say you know when they are in the middle of telling you something to me it g...
DALLY SALAD
Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you ha...
LOUIS C. K.
Books can truly change our lives: the lives of those who read them, the lives of those who write the...
LLOYD ALEXANDER
Now they have a riddle.

- Criminal Minds
DEYTH BANGER
I don't have a lot of time to speak... but we will speak soon.
DEYTH BANGER
Humans don't have any type of interest... HAVING SO MUCH STUFF AROUND THEM AND SO LITTLE INTEREST IN...
DEYTH BANGER
I love eyebrows, so brow pencils and brow shadow are really important to me.
ZARA LARSSON
People need to know that they are not alone, that they have not been abandoned; but that there is On...
DADA VASWANI
I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA
Everyone of them is staying, ... They dont want to go back. They have told me that.
AMY COLLINS
You have more to fear from those who think they know you,Than from those who know they dont.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
We really believe we can change kids' lives. We're looking to take a young person who may not have a...
JAY BOWES
Comedians are people who embarrass themselves in style.
A.D. POSEY
I think a lot of studios today are run by women, and we are entering a time when a lot of women have...
JUDD APATOW
How many pens are broken, how many ink bottles consumed, to write about things that have never happe...
THE TALMUD
How many pens are broken, how many ink bottles consumed, to write about things that have never happe...
THE TALMUD
The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and i...
IMOGENE COCA
YOU ARE TOLD TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF, BUT I SAY LOVE THEM MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF FOR...
STEPHEN .R. ANYAEGBU
Writers are creatures of habit, as are humans, but writers aren’t necessarily human, are they?
ALYSSA HUBBARD
Writers know that sometimes things are there in the drawer for decades before they finally come out ...
GUNTER GRASS
Employers have all the cards, ... Not only are they sharpening their salary pencils, but the screeni...
JOHN CHALLENGER
A lot of comedians out there are aspiring actors, but Dave Attell is a comedian who loves doing come...
LAURA GARRISON
Christians have always been fodder for comedians who have tended to portray them as anoraks - slight...
JO BRAND
Not only are Christians writing about Jesus, but also Communists, Jews, atheists and agnostics are t...
JOHN CLAYTON
Pen-bereavement is a serious matter.
ANNE FADIMAN
The campaign against Prop. 82 was becoming too much about Rob Reiner and not about the merits of the...
MARK FABIANI
When I write a song, it's all about the riff - the riff first, then the words come later.
EVAN DANDO
I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedia...
DEMETRI MARTIN
The really good stand up comedians can be angry but relatable, and they have interestingly humanizin...
KUNAL NAYYAR
Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. ...
DICK CAVETT
Are shadows a shadowy reflection of the soul or is it a reflection of who we really are, or possibly...
GARY F EVANS...
I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the peop...
AL JOLSON
They have studies that have shown where as few as one pellet resulted in about 50 percent mortality ...
JAY ROBERSON
And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They do...
WILL ROGERS
I have the impression that our children are much more excited about going to school than children in...
CHERYL BENARD
When you try to talk about yourself, you dont know who you are, or what your like, or what your like...
CAROL CHANNING
Well, I think writing is basically about time and rhythm. Like with jazz. You have your basic melody...
KATHY ACKER
People think that they are untouchable, but you will probably find that there lives are built around...
GARY F EVANS...
I'm not one of those writers who insist they don't read reviews and don't care much abou...
TOM STOPPARD
No men who really think deeply about women retain a high opinion of them; men either despise women o...
OTTO WEININGER
In my experience, and that of a lot of other women writers, all of the questions coming at them from...
ELEANOR CATTON
I don't know, I don't really have a view about what my contemporaries are doing, except that I enjoy...
JONATHAN COE
Black writers, of whatever quality, who step outside the pale of what black writers are supposed to ...
AUDRE LORDE
You know, it's a funny thing about writers. Most people don't stop to think of books being written b...
CORNELIA FUNKE
Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than come...
ADRIAN EDMONDSON
Let us pick up our books and our pens, they are the most powerful weapons.
MALALA YOUSAFZAI
Being goal-oriented instead of self-oriented is crucial. I know so many people who want to be writer...
JAMES A. MICHENER
I said, Do you consider yourself a pimp, also? ... (Reiner) said, Yeah, and I said, Well, you are. B...
LANCE WILLIAMS
He not only cares about how things are made and if they are recycled and making sure they are non-to...
ALISA GRAVITZ
I still have my school friends who are actually friends. It's nice that they don't think muc...
JACKIE EVANCHO
You can say that you dont care what anyone thinks about you, but in the end, its all that really mat...
TIFFANY GARLAND
I love the novels of Didion and Bret Ellis and consider them L.A. writers because they write about L...
RACHEL KUSHNER
Internet mailing lists are like Fox television shows. They have really cool previews, and they get y...
JOHN DOBBIN
He's always really thorough with them and really interested in talking about writing and helping stu...
JAMES CIANCIOLA
Nowadays, I dont have expectations, and this way she beats them all.
JODI PICOULT
There are writers who are great visionaries, who can depict huge movements - things like that. They&...
LEONARD COHEN
Male writers are thought of as "writers" first and then "men". As for female writers, they are first...
ELIF SHAFAK
There's a herd of about 500 cattle in pens very near to the barn and we're hoping the fire doesn't r...
WAYNE SMITH
There are issue but I feel like we are really going to get through them because we have people here ...
LYNN WILLIAMS
We are the only ones who really can care about the preservation Foreigners who come to excavate, may...
ZAHI HAWASS
Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors.
JOHANN GEORG ZIMMERMANN
They have a lot of family and a lot of friends who love and are concerned about them. This is a trag...
CINDY BOYER
It's for people who can't market their own pieces, but who are still legitimate artists, musicians a...
GREG T. SPIELBERG
Winner dont do different but they do differently
SHIV KHERA
Reasons... questions... what they have in common?

- All get finded in the hard way.
DEYTH BANGER
A lot of times, people will have after-parties or try and host an event for comedians, and they misu...
TIG NOTARO
For younger students, parents should spend time reading to them and listening to them read, then ask...
BARBARA HARVEY
Why have not Al-Bukhari himself wrote what he has collected? Is it really possible for Muslims to de...
مُضر آل أحميّد
They are the only people in the world who I can truly trust and rely on. Touring gets really lonely....
KELLY OSBOURNE
This is embarrassing to admit, but I didn't really know anything about Pearl Jam. Of course, I k...
WINNIE HOLZMAN
The Internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV...
DOUG STANHOPE
Oh..please dont eat me, I have a wife and three kids...eat them!
HOMER SIMPSON
There are only two guidelines in good sex, Don't do anything you don't really enjoy and find out wha...
ALEX COMFORT
WhatEver May Be The Problems, Dont Be Afraid, Think That They Are The Questions Infront Of You As An...
P. P. GURUMAULI ANNA SAHEB MORE
Sometimes one of us will have a riff or a bass line from home but it really gels when we come togeth...
CHAD SMITH
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and myste...
RICHARD CASTLE
One thing I have learned is that the people who label you are usually the ones who know the least ab...
J.S. GOLDSTINE
Mistakes? That's why they put erasers on pencils.
RICK BARNETT
They are the only people in the world who I can truly trust and rely on. Touring gets really lonely....
KELLY OSBOURNE

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If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game.
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Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.
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The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.
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I'm a charming coward; I fight with words.
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It's like a bird. If he knew what he was doing, he would fall.
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The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh
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It's like a bird. If he knew what he was doing, he would fall.
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I'm a charming coward; I fight with words.
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A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funn...
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I would be amazed if you didn't.
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Can someone please explain to me what that was all about?
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Can someone please explain to me what that was all about? I was backstage and didn't hear one iota o...
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Perhaps grief is not about empty, but full. The full breath of life that includes death. The complet...
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God, I love daydreaming out plane windows.
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Watch out for emergencies. They are your big chance.
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The marketing costs are insane now. So even if you've got a picture like 'Flipped' which...
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People can be ignorant and still have loving, human qualities.
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I'm a karmic girl; I believe in karma.
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Martin Scorsese is one of the great filmmakers of all time.
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Watch out for emergencies. They are your big chance!
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No one can tell you what to expect or can offer a guide to grief. Because every relationship is so u...
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It's a very slow process - two steps forward, one step back - but I'm inching in the right d...
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There's no requirement for the accused to explain why he pleaded guilty. He may do so at sentencing.
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The problem we have right now in Washington is we don't have the face of a leader.
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When I read 'Stand By Me,' it was like, 'This is a look back at the same time period whe...
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The people they were mad at weren't these people. They had nothing to do with anything. They happene...
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We wouldn't do anything like that without discussing it with the family. They're well aware of the i...
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Both sides thought that was the only result that was reasonable under the circumstances.
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I'm walking to the path of light, And i have elements on my side, But without them I'm still behind ...
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There is a wide, yawning black infinity. In every direction, the extension is endless; the sensation...
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But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniu...
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Strange things blow in through my window on the wings of the night wind and I don't worry about ...
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I have always felt that a woman has the right to treat the subject of her age with ambiguity until, ...
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In our obscurity - in all this vastness - there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to sav...
CARL SAGAN
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
CARL SAGAN
The dangers of not thinking clearly are much greater now than ever before. It's not that there&#...
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A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.
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Shrinking away from death is something unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of ...
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The Christian missionary may preach the gospel to the poor naked heathen, but the spiritual heathen ...
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The word 'belief' is a difficult thing for me. I don't believe. I must have a reason for...
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Everyone knows nowadays that people 'have complexes'. What is not so well known, though far ...
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I have treated many hundreds of patients. Among those in the second half of life - that is to say, o...
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The debt we owe to the play of imagination is incalculable.
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We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learnt to bear its ills without being overc...
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In my case Pilgrim's Progress consisted in my having to climb down a thousand ladders until I co...
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Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They ...
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Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average consci...
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Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
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We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect. The judgement of the intellect ...
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Man is not a machine that can be remodelled for quite other purposes as occasion demands, in the hop...
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Understanding does not cure evil, but it is a definite help, inasmuch as one can cope with a compreh...
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When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate.
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A psychoneurosis must be understood, ultimately, as the suffering of a soul which has not discovered...
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Our heart glows, and secret unrest gnaws at the root of our being. Dealing with the unconscious has ...
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Follow that will and that way which experience confirms to be your own.
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Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
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There is no birth of consciousness without pain.
CARL JUNG
The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.
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There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
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We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
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Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
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In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.
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The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any rea...
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A 'scream' is always just that - a noise and not music.
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Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to th...
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Just as we might take Darwin as an example of the normal extraverted thinking type, the normal intro...
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Who has fully realized that history is not contained in thick books but lives in our very blood?
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The Christ-symbol is of the greatest importance for psychology in so far as it is perhaps the most h...
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Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is...
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If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether...
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Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious.
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Dreams are the guiding words of the soul. Why should I henceforth not love my dreams and not make th...
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The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be ...
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Resistance to the organized mass can be effected only by the man who is as well organized in his ind...
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Masses are always breeding grounds of psychic epidemics.
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Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
CARL JUNG
A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.
CARL JUNG
Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.
CARL JUNG
It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.
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A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror. As a rule, a beautiful woman is a terrible dis...
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The man who promises everything is sure to fulfil nothing, and everyone who promises too much is in ...
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The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition.
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The lowest form of popular culture - lack of information, misinformation, disinformation and a conte...
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Extinction is the rule. Survival is the exception.
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There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow i...
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I wrote poems in my corner of the Brooks Street station. I sent them to two editors who rejected the...
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If she America forgets where she came from, if the people lose sight of what brought them along, if ...
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I see America, not in the setting sun of a black night of despair ahead of us, I see America in the ...
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The republic is a dream.
Nothing happens unless first a dream.
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Pile the bodies high at Austerlitz and Waterloo. Shovel them under and let me workI am the grass; I ...
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Sometime theyll give a war and nobody will come.
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Who put up that cage?Who hung it up with bars, doors?Why do those on the inside want to get out?Why ...
CARL SANDBURG
Not often in the story of mankind does a man arrive on earth who is both steel and velvet, who is as...
CARL SANDBURG
A baby is Gods opinion that life should go on.
CARL SANDBURG
The Senator from Wisconsin cannot frighten me by exclaiming, My country, right or wrong. In one sens...
CARL SCHURZ
Consider: if you incorporate those tropical countries with the Republic of the United States, you wi...
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The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easil...
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Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. Th...
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Because the European does not know his own unconscious, he does not understand the East and projects...
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Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their child...
CARL JUNG
God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my path violently and recklessly, all th...
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Grat talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They h...
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Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart ... Who looks outside, dreams. Who ...
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The images of the unconscious place a great responsibility upon a man. Failure to understand them, o...
CARL JUNG
The achievements which society rewards are won at the cost of diminution of personality
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The wine of youth does not always clear with advancing years; sometimes it grows turbid.
CARL JUNG
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
CARL JUNG
I do not believe...I know.
CARL JUNG
Consider: if you incorporate those tropical countries with the Republic of the United States, you w...
CARL SCHURZ
The peace and welfare of this and coming generations of Americans will be secure only as we cling to...
CARL SCHURZ
Our country, right or wrong. When right, to be kept right; when wrong, to be put right.
CARL SCHURZ
Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafarin...
CARL SCHURZ
I'm either going to be a writer or a bum.
CARL SANDBURG
I'm very serious about becoming a dramatic actor. I don't want to play cameo parts walking o...
CARL LEWIS
Every blunder behind us is giving a cheer for us, and only for those who were willing to fail are th...
CARL SANDBURG
I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth.
CARL SANDBERG
If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth.
CARL SAGAN
It is the tension between creativity and skepticism that has produced the stunning and unexpected fi...
CARL SAGAN
Finding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion and bamboozle requires int...
CARL SAGAN
Imagine that I am riding a bicycle toward you. As I approach an intersection I nearly collide, so it...
CARL SAGAN
A religion, old or new, that stressed the magnificence of the universe as revealed by modern science...
CARL SAGAN
We have developed overlays for the keys of the cash registers with the help of the Braille Institute...
CARL KARCHER
Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you k...
CARL SAGAN
Personally, I would be delighted if there were a life after death, especially if it permitted me to ...
CARL SAGAN
The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.
CARL SAGAN
The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pi...
CARL SAGAN
Before we invented civilization our ancestors lived mainly in the open out under the sky. Before we ...
CARL SAGAN
The moon is friend for the lonesome to talk to.
CARL SANDBURG
Ama me fideliter!Fidem meam noto:De corde totaliterEt ex mente tota,Sum presentialiterAbsens in remo...
CARL ORFF
Nothing wilts faster than laurels that have been rested upon.
CARL ROWAN
The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.
CARL SANDBURG
A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called
CARL SAGAN
I was lucky enough to have the talent to play baseball. That's how I treated my career. I didn&#...
CARL YASTRZEMSKI
You don't always make an out. Sometimes the pitcher gets you out.
CARL YASTRZEMSKI
And if I have my choice between a pennant and a triple crown, I'll take the pennant every time.
CARL YASTRZEMSKI
I was a lousy hitter in May doing the same things that made me a great hitter in June.
CARL YASTRZEMSKI
First, I'd become an avid reader of blogs, especially music blogs, and they seemed to be where t...
CARL WILSON
Sure, we've had our fair share of ups and downs, but I don't know if we've had more than...
CARL WILSON
In the early part of the '60s I was influenced by the Ventures.
CARL WILSON
I had been playing for about a year and a half when the Beach Boys formed. When our folks went to Me...
CARL WILSON
I remember growing up always loving the guitar. I used to love to watch the people play on the Count...
CARL WILSON
I thought Jimi Hendrix... was just phenomenal.
CARL WILSON
I've made some films for the military that are teaching things like cultural awareness and leade...
CARL WEATHERS
When I start to get that few pounds, which I try to monitor, then I just pull back. So it's real...
CARL WEATHERS
My first love was acting. I went to Sidney Poitier films as a kid. I sat in the theater and dreamed ...
CARL WEATHERS
I really try to take care of myself. I really put forth the effort to make a regimen just a part of ...
CARL WEATHERS
I majored in theater at San Diego State. My one eye was on football, and my other eye was on Hollywo...
CARL WEATHERS
I've been fortunate. I've worked in a lot of things where I had those kinds of experiences w...
CARL WEATHERS
What has been happening the last four years in City Hall is that they have been closing recreation c...
CARL STOKES
My style will be management by being on the street, management by walking around. Third persons won&...
CARL STOKES
All politicians should have 3 hats - one to throw into the ring, one to talk through, and one to pul...
CARL SANDBURG
I learned you can't trust the judgment of good friends.
CARL SANDBURG
I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way.
CARL SANDBURG
Love your neighbor as yourself; but don't take down the fence.
CARL SANDBURG
Let the gentle bush dig its root deep and spread upward to split one boulder.
CARL SANDBURG
Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.
CARL SANDBURG
Back of every mistaken venture and defeat is the laughter of wisdom, if you listen.
CARL SANDBURG
A man may be born, but in order to be born he must first die, and in order to die he must first awak...
CARL SANDBURG
I had taken a course in Ethics. I read a thick textbook, heard the class discussions and came out of...
CARL SANDBURG
To be a good loser is to learn how to win.
CARL SANDBURG
Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
CARL SANDBURG
If you want to make change, 'Show me how' can be a stronger, more effective approach than &#...
CARL SAFINA
Why would even I say we can't stop drilling in the Gulf? Because we have no alternatives. Whethe...
CARL SAFINA