Close up the Honkytonks,

You know what I do on Sundays? I sing in a choir. I sing in a Greek Orthodox choir, and I'm the only hillbilly tenor in the Orthodox Church.

Ninety-five percent of snake charmers get bit,

We couldn't get played on FM rock or country radio. Now the Burritos are more popular than ever. Who knew?

This bond will help keep utility rates for our residents as low as we can make them,

We had to guess each year what interest rates would do in the coming year, which is difficult to do in today's markets, and budget for that,