Christianity was the shattering of a lie, a glass house prison where everyone was telling me what you see is what you get! While materialism had all the benefits of rationally appearing to be true, it was at the same time the most diabolical lie, by exclusion. The elephant in the room was God. Everything in my head was screaming foul but at the desk they could shame me & describe with such precision the bottom line of materialism, the profit motive, that I felt guilty for even asking why.