Centuries ago, sailors on long voyages used to leave a pair of pigs on every deserted island. Or they'd leave a pair of goats. Either way, on any future visit, the island would be a source of meat. These islands, they were pristine. These were home to breeds of birds with no natural predators. Breeds of birds that lived nowhere else on earth. The plants there, without enemies they evolved without thorns or poisons. Without predators and enemies, these islands, they were paradise. The sailors, the next time they visited these islands, the only things still there would be herds of goats or pigs. .... Does this remind you of anything? Maybe the ol' Adam and Eve story? .... You ever wonder when God's coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce?
Chuck Palahniuk
Related His words even imply that philanthropy has deeper depths than is generally realized. The great emoti... FULTON J. SHEEN You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part. HENRY JAMES It was November--the month of crimson sunsets, parting birds, deep, sad hymns of the sea, passionate... L.M. MONTGOMERY I don’t want sunbursts and marble halls. I just want you... We’ll just be happy, waiting and wor... L.M. MONTGOMERY These birds used to nest on all the major shorelines in the state, but what's on those shorelines no... NORM BRUNSWIG In a world in which the common rule which binds and regulates what the general masses feel is underm... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I don't know if I have a favorite color. KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl. KATE MIDDLETON Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretche... EMMA LAZARUS She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going t... STEPHEN CHBOSKY We Are All Infinite STEPHEN CHBOSKY (All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes... JEAN SASSON You can't just sit there and put everyone's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I saw other people there. Old men sitting alone. Young girls with blue eye shadow and awkward jaws. ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY That one moment when you know you are not a sad story. You are ALIVE. STEPHAN CHBOSKY Somos quienes somos por un montón de razones.Quizás nunca conozcamos la mayoría de ellas.Pero aun... STEPHEN CHBOSKY Ambos dijeron que tomara asiento y parecían hablar en serio, así que me senté. STEPHEN CHBOSKY I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all beco... STEPHEN CHBOSKY So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybewe'll never know most of them. STEPHEN CHBOSKY So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. STEPHEN CHBOSKY There's nothing like the deep breathes after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore st... STHEPHEN CHBOSKY no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks, when the teacher rings the bell, drop... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I don't know the significance of this, but I find it very interesting. STEPHEN CHBOSKY Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad. STEPHEN CHBOSKY The late 1920s were an age of islands, real and metaphorical. They were an age when Americans by tho... MALCOLM COWLEY I am often asked how it is that I am able to value people to such a deep degree. Apparently, I exhib... C. JOYBELL C. You must expect to make enemies." "I never expect to make anything else," he said. SUSAN KAY ...and I realized no matter what you do it’s bound to be a waste of time in the end so you might a... JACK KEROUAC I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes. And I think eve... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if... STEPHEN CHBOSKY We were scheduled to leave on Sunday morning, and they gave us all of these warnings. They said ther... CLAY HOBBS What is the Other?" they ask. The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ... PAULO COELHO The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH ...knew the futility of agonizing over why things had transpired as they had. What could have happen... RAYMOND E. FEIST This review is from: On the Shortness of Life (Penguin Great Ideas) (Paperback) "I know t... AMAZON REVIEWER Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. I was suddenly very aware of the fact it was me standing up in that tunnel with the wind over my fac... STEPHEN CHBOSKY The only perspective is to really be there. STEPHEN CHBOSKY I didn't feel like reading that night, so I went downstairs and watched a half-hour long commercial ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY Why is England manufacturing bigger and better airplanes and bombs and at the same time churning out... ANNE FRANK Each man lives in his own universe and when he dies the world is over BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA You're still lovely," Mor said a bit gently. Elain offered a half smile. "I suppose that war m... SARAH J. MAAS They told me there was no other surveillance. But the fact is that the case against a lot of these g... EDWARD MACMAHON When a child dies, a parent loses a part of themselves,” he said. “Your whole world ceases to ex... NICOLE WILLIAMS We were told that if we didn't [contribute], they were going to have to do without the bleachers and... CAROL PAGE We were told that if we didn't [contribute], they were going to have to do without the bleachers and... CAROL PAGE May I never neither turn left nor turn right in my journey of life, but may I go straight to Christ ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained. QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and... QUEEN ELIZABETH II My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th... QUEEN ELIZABETH II What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Grief is the price we pay for love. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr... QUEEN ELIZABETH II For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g... QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as... QUEEN ELIZABETH II These wretched babies don't come until they are ready. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters... QUEEN ELIZABETH II No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o... QUEEN ELIZABETH II We die a day at a time BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA I wouldn't want to marry anybody who was wicked, but I think I'd like it if he could be wicked and w... L.M. MONTGOMERY Life is short, and that's why, I don't test people; because we all fail tests sometimes, but that is... C. JOYBELL C. A man drank and became drunk, next he said, now i am delivered from my enemies and then walked into ... SOTONYE ANGA Anyways, that very same night there was a fight in the casino on B Deck. Some of the passengers got ... CHRISTINA ENGELA Arabia, and all the princes of Kedar, they occupied with thee in lambs, and rams, and goats: in thes... BIBLE While both these statements refer to eggs, the main difference between these two rather irking state... CHRISTINA ENGELA She said 'Over my dead body!' so I took her at her word. DIANA WYNNE JONES The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a... NEIL GAIMAN Look to your heart and soul first, rather than looking to your head first, when choosing. Rather tha... JEFFREY R. ANDERSON The five points of yama , together with the five points of niyama , remind us of the Ten... SWAMI SATCHIDANANDA That does not mean that these were the highest priority experiments. These are hands-on activities, ... JAMES HARTSFIELD When you look back with regret, that (regret, loss) becomes your focus. Then your focus direct... THE TRUTH Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ... GERMANY KENT We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want... PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world. PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ... CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you... KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. KING SOLOMON
More Chuck Palahniuk
You must realize that one day you will die. Until then you are worthless. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The bright future is that readers are accepting more varied forms of stories. CHUCK PALAHNIUK More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Of the big horror movies of the '70s, you have 'The Omen,' 'The Sentinel,' '... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. CHUCK PALAHNIUK My private history in terms of people in my life who are dead is very easy to discuss. I don't f... CHUCK PALAHNIUK We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens jus... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their w... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Portland in particular is a cheap enough place to live that you can still develop your passion - pai... CHUCK PALAHNIUK People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were scare... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying? CHUCK PALAHNIUK The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it, beca... CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you start in the pit of despair with these profane, awful things, even a glimmer of hope or aware... CHUCK PALAHNIUK A film has to maintain a certain decorum in order to be broadcast to a vast audience. CHUCK PALAHNIUK My grandfather was hit over the head by a crane boom in Seattle. Some of the family claimed he was n... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Movie brawls tend to be bloodless and quick. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Hey, even the Mona Lisa is falling apart. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You decide your own level of involvement. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolis... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? CHUCK PALAHNIUK The most boring thing in the entire world is nudity. The second most boring thing is honesty. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Hysteria is impossible without an audience. Panicking by yourself is the same as laughing alone in a... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don't be trying all the time to fix things. What you run f... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. CHUCK PALAHNIUK What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of yo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. CHUCK PALAHNIUK For years now, I've wanted to fall asleep. The sort of slipping off, the giving up, the falling part... CHUCK PALAHNIUK We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you don't know what you want," the doorman said, "you end up with a lot you don't. CHUCK PALAHNIUK There are only patterns, patterns on top of patterns, patterns that affect other patterns. Patterns ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK We'll be remembered more for what we destroy than what we create. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Beca... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Why do I do anything?' she says. 'I'm educated enough to talk myself out of any plan. To deconstruct... CHUCK PALAHNIUK A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm. CHUCK PALAHNIUK What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too. CHUCK PALAHNIUK When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat? CHUCK PALAHNIUK A menos que todo empeore, nada puede mejorar. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. CHUCK PALAHNIUK What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how much you love someone, you still want to have you own way. CHUCK PALAHNIUK A girl calls and asks, "Does it hurt very much to die?" "Well, sweetheart," I tell her, "yes, b... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I used rebellion as a way to hide out. We use criticism as a fake participation. CHUCK PALAHNIUK On the other side of the handrail, the hallway's gray marble floor looks as if we've climbed a stair... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Love me, I'll be anyobdy you want me to be. Use me. Change me. I can be thin with big breasts and bi... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Maybe this is why so many serial killers work in pairs. It's nice not to feel alone in a world full ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Disaster is a natural part of my evolution. Toward tragedy and dissolution. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The gyms you go to are crowded with guys trying to look like men, as being a man means looking the w... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Nothing is static. Even the Mona Lisa is falling apart. Since fight club, I can wiggle half the teet... CHUCK PALAHNIUK That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways CHUCK PALAHNIUK College is like a fountain of knowledge - and the students are there to drink CHUCK PALAHNIUK “Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You can kill a lifetime without feeling anything but skin. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Did you ever think about life as a metaphor for television? CHUCK PALAHNIUK On a large enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. CHUCK PALAHNIUK And maybe you don't go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don't ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Only after disaster can we be ressurected. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Imagine books and music and movies being filtered and homogenized. Certified. Approved for consumpti... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some bline, random disaster, or some sud... CHUCK PALAHNIUK People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love. CHUCK PALAHNIUK While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes availa... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night. CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's easy to cry when you realize that everyone you love will reject you or die. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Recycling and speed limits are bullshit. They're like someone who quits smoking on his deathbed. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Maybe we should always assume the worst. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I hate how I don't feel real enough unless people are watching. CHUCK PALAHNIUK We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive.... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The truth is, every son raised by a single mom is pretty much born married. I don't know, but until ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The first step to eternal life, is you have to die. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? CHUCK PALAHNIUK If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character... CHUCK PALAHNIUK When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves. CHUCK PALAHNIUK When nobody will look at you, you can stare a hole in them. Picking out all the little details you'd... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You can't base your life on the past or the present. You have to tell me about your future. CHUCK PALAHNIUK On a long enough timeline. The survival rate for everyone drops to zero. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I dread the promotion part of my job. It's agony, especially compared to the private, at-home jo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Jack Palance was my distant uncle - that's the family gossip. Growing up, my family knew everyth... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is ou... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I'm always trying to reach a transcendent point, a romantic point, but reach it in a really unco... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My best advice for writers is: Have your adventures, make your mistakes, and choose your friends poo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK With a book, you're guaranteed the audience has a certain skill level and that the audience has ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibili... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage. CHUCK PALAHNIUK We're making the same mistakes we made 1,000 years ago. So they must be the right ones. So relax... CHUCK PALAHNIUK What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like gr... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My first four books, from 'Fight Club' to 'Choke,' dealt with personal identity issu... CHUCK PALAHNIUK In 2008, while the film version of my book 'Choke' was coming to market, my mother was diagn... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Mr. Olsen in the fifth grade made me want to be a writer. He said, 'Chuck, you do this really we... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I know that I'm going to die and that you're going to die. I can't do anything about tha... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Maybe it's better just living the way you figure life is when you're a kid. Before you get too smart... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Real smart begins when you quit quoting other people. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You hear the best stories from ordinary people. That sense of immediacy is more real to me than a lo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their dis... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Beginning with Santa Claus as a cognitive exercise, a child is encouraged to share the same idea of ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I say let me never be complete, I say may I never be content,I say deliver me from Swedish furniture... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You have to give up! you have to give up! You have to realize that someday you will die, U... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Big Brother fills us all with the same crap. My guess is he was clever the same way everybody thinks... CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I feel my heart ache, but I've forgotten what that feeling means. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Fathers. Mothers. With all their caring and attention. They will f--- you up, every time. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Find good in what the world says is evil. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Make me into anything, but just love me. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Give me lust, baby. Flash. Give me malice. Flash. Give me detached existentialis... CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's all mirror, mirror on the wall because beauty is power the same way money is power the same way... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I thought we were a real love relationship. I did. I was very invested in love, but it was just this... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Fuck me. I'm so tired of being me. Me beautiful. Me ugly. Blonde. Brunette. A million fucking fashio... CHUCK PALAHNIUK If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Most times, it's just a lot easier not to let the world know what's wrong. CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed fee... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I think a lot of people saw 'Fight Club' and thought, 'Right, here's our next Che Gu... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My father worked for the railroad, and whenever a train crashed, we would go as a family and steal f... CHUCK PALAHNIUK We live and we die and anything else is just a delusion. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I would say any behavior that is not the status quo is interpreted as insanity, when, in fact, it mi... CHUCK PALAHNIUK People would ask me to autograph their bodies and then the next time I'd see them on tour they... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Personal identity seems like it's just such an American archetype, from Holly Golightly re-inven... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Every decade, we get a stunning collection of dynamic, heartbreaking short stories. In the past, tho... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Horror stories give us a way of exhausting our emotions around social issues, like a woman's rig... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. CHUCK PALAHNIUK HELLO! Look at me. HELLO! I am so ZEN. This is BLOOD. This is NOTHING. Hello. Everything is nothing,... CHUCK PALAHNIUK With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels. CHUCK PALAHNIUK What I did was pour out about a gallon of Chanel Number Five and put a burning wedding invitation to... CHUCK PALAHNIUK If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, doesn't it just lie there and rot? CHUCK PALAHNIUK Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Find out what you're afraid of and go live there. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The idea that population growth guarantees a better life - financially or otherwise - is a myth that... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I tell everyone I interact with what I'm working on and let them bring me anecdotes that illustr... CHUCK PALAHNIUK 'At the Gates of the Animal Kingdom' by Amy Hempel showed me the lean quality of prose. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you take my stuff apart, you'll find my choruses of repetitions are picked up almost verbatim... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Someday you will die, and until you know that, you're useless to me. CHUCK PALAHNIUK She's not wearing makeup so her face just looks like skin. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you knew that your life was merely a phase or short, short segment of your entire existence, how ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Language, she said, was just our way to explain away the wonder and glory of the world. To deconstru... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Sometimes the very best way to deal with unpleasant things is to depict them in ways that allow peop... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My only writing ritual is to shave my head bald between writing the first and second drafts of a boo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My personal theory is that younger audiences disdain books - not because those readers are dumber th... CHUCK PALAHNIUK He was the kind of boy any young girl should date while she's still able to recover. CHUCK PALAHNIUK My secret wish is right now to be romancing this dead girl. A dead girl. Any dead girl. I'm not what... CHUCK PALAHNIUK One thing I really envy about my friends who have kids is that as their children develop, they'r... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You have no idea what it is like to constantly disappoint people. You see it the moment you meet the... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I'm wondering how clean this gun is. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I try to forget about the expectation that's out there and the audience listening for the next t... CHUCK PALAHNIUK In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then peop... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The things you used to own, now they own you. CHUCK PALAHNIUK For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it se... CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood ed... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justifie... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Hysteria is only possible with an audience. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things th... CHUCK PALAHNIUK With a gun stuck in your mouth and the barrel of the gun between your teeth, you can only talk in vo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The things you own end up owning you. CHUCK PALAHNIUK No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide. CHUCK PALAHNIUK We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depre... CHUCK PALAHNIUK We just had a near-life experience! CHUCK PALAHNIUK This is why I loved the support groups so much. If people thought you were dying, they gave you thei... CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? CHUCK PALAHNIUK Being tired isn't the same as being rich, but most times it's close enough. CHUCK PALAHNIUK A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfec... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Masochism is a valuable job skill. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Which is worse: Hell or nothing? CHUCK PALAHNIUK People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distrac... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sof... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Real discoveries come from chaos. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The future is just wasted on some people. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you dont know what you want, you end up with a lot you dont CHUCK PALAHNIUK Theres always the chance you could die right in the middle of your life story CHUCK PALAHNIUK Us. God's forgotten Science Fair project, left to grow mold. God's goldfish, ignored until we're for... CHUCK PALAHNIUK As if you cut open a rag doll with a sill name, and found inside:Real intestines, real lungs, a beat... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You are not special. Your are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I tell everybody, i'm tired of being jerked around, okay? so lets just not pretend. i don't have fuc... CHUCK PALAHNIUK