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CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.In this small fish I take it that human wisdom is admirably figured and symbolized; for whereas the crayfish doth move only backward, and can have only retrospection, seeing naught but the perils already passed, so the wisdom of man doth not enable him to avoid the follies that beset his course, but only to apprehend their nature afterward. --Sir James Merivale


Ambrose Bierce

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KELLY JONES Integrity is not everything, but it is the only thing that matters.
JEFFREY FRY The idea is to believe me... but as far as I see the world... to believe is a sin... to trust me one...
DEYTH BANGER PEACE IS THE OBJECTIVE TO WAR, BUT THE BLOOD RUNNETH STILL
NATALIE URQUIETA Man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth...
BIBLE Man is not the owner of mind but only a user. The nature owns mind, man hires only a small portion o...
THIRUMAN ARCHUNAN That's really sad," Beth said softly, "To have no one left.
R.J. SCOTT In Egyptian Arabic, the word 'insan' means 'human'. If we remove the 'n', the word becomes 'insa', w...
SUZY KASSEM Feast of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Teacher, Martyr, 1945 It is not experience of life but experience of...
DIETRICH BONHOEFFER The answer isn't more time but a greater awareness of the time we have.
CRAIG GROESCHEL You can't be that or that or that... but you can try to behave as that...

So, what next!?...
DEYTH BANGER The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all other woes of mankind, is wisdom. Teach a man to rea...
THOMAS HUXLEY The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all other woes of mankind, is wisdom. Teach a man to rea...
THOMAS HENRY HUXLEY Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you...
C. JOYBELL C. At a small company, so much of the trick is focus. Not only can you only do a finite number of thing...
BEN SILBERMANN I love you so much, so incredibly much," he went on, "and I forget when you're close to me, I forget...
CASSANDRA CLARE Men have two greatest fears: the first fear is the fear of being needed, and the second fear is the ...
C. JOYBELL C. Wisdom is considered a sign of weakness by the powerful because a wise man can lead without power ...
MARK B. COHEN But of that day and hour no one knows neither the angels in heaven nor the Son but only the Father.�...
JOHN OWEN 'Tis much he dares; and, to that dauntless temper of his mind, he hath a wisdom that doth guide his ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Having difficulties in life is nothing but only a matter of choice.
VIKRANT PARSAI The fear of God is the only cure for the fear of people.
CRAIG GROESCHEL They say with age comes wisdom but the wisdom that you acquire as an old man is really only worth ha...
CARL WHITE Not only did he unleash his emotions through rivers of tears, but for several days he denied his bod...
CRAIG GROESCHEL We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom.
LEO TOLSTOY It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is les...
TENNESSEE WILLIAMS The only thing I can cook is Welsh rarebit.
IAN RUSH But it is not only the difficulty and labor which men take in finding out of truth, nor again that w...
FRANCIS BACON The experience gathered from books, though often valuable, is but of the nature of learning; whereas...
SAMUEL SMILES Gravity is only the bark of wisdom; but it preserves it.
CONFUCIUS The only real equality is in the cemetery
GERMAN PROVERB A virtuos woman is not moved by big names and flamboyance, but only men of profound wisdom and integ...
MICHAEL BASSEY JOHNSON The confusing nature of the sites and the restrictions that are involved make it only ideal for a ve...
CHRIS MCGINNIS My main concern now is that most people who fish with 'crabs' will not take the time to tell a rusty...
BILL ANDERSON Wisdom is not only to be acquired, but enjoyed.
UNKNOWN It is only a very small droplet and it only moves a millimeter. But in terms of extrapolation of len...
PROFESSOR DAVID LEIGH Your knowledge can stir the world, your intellect can move it, your wisdom can shake it, but only yo...
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO Though he is small, he is but fierce.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE You can only learn so much from books. You can only learn so much from education. Ultimately, it is ...
RAVI ZACHARIAS Practical wisdom is only to be learned in the school of experience. Precepts and instruction are use...
SAMUEL SMILES I believe the human mind is a very fallible thing, but it's the only thing that I can really kno...
GRIMES Don't ever forget that a small group of thoughtful people can change the world, it's the onl...
AARON SORKIN Today, education does not give you the wisdom and the understanding; it only indoctrinates you to be...
LOBSANG TENZIN It quite often happens that the old man is subject to the delusion of a great moral renewal and rebi...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE The higher the sun ariseth, the less shadow doth he cast; even so the greater is the goodness, the l...
LAO TZU The higher the sun ariseth, the less shadow doth he cast; even so the greater is the goodness, the l...
AKHENATON But I love fish, cheese and meat, and I eat everything, but only in small quantities if it's ric...
EVA HERZIGOVA Mr. Grace sounded like a very small child, helpless, hopeless. I had made him fuck himself with his ...
RICHARD BACHMAN I think the King is but a man as I am: the violet smells to him as it doth to me.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The difference between the truth and a lie is that both of them can hurt, but only one will take the...
MIRA GRANT True leadership is not only knowing when to enforce the law,but when not to.For this is true wisdom.
MVUNGI SEBASTIAN KUNJUMU The Biggest Threat to our Democracy, Freedoms and Future is Leadership that fosters and Appeases the...
MICHAEL HARRIS We are shallow because we are 'mayabang,' ego driven, and do not have the humility to unders...
F. SIONIL JOSE We may claim to believe in God, but we don't want to believe so much that it makes us different.
CRAIG GROESCHEL There is so much wealth on this planet,but ironically we small minded humans have only been able to ...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) This year, I'm particularly happy for the movies that were in, that are coming out. I feel very not ...
ANG LEE Do not let me hear
Of the wisdom of old men, but rather of their folly,
Their fear of fear...
T.S. ELIOT In each generation, there is this certain wisdom of the ages that gets reburied in the fleeting driv...
CRISS JAMI Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him: / On the left ha...
BIBLE The only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams.
TUPAC SHAKUR The most experienced psychologist or observer of human nature knows infinitely less of the human hea...
DIETRICH BONHOEFFER Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it...
HENRY MILLER Many religions have attempted to make statues of their gods very large, and the idea, I suppose, is ...
CARL SAGAN When you have wisdom that another person knows that he needs, you give it freely. But when the other...
ORSON SCOTT CARD Aye me, how many perils do enfold
The righteous man, to make him daily fall?
Were not, tha...
EDMUND SPENSER What bothers me is that there is so much emphasis on food, rather than gathering and meeting - so th...
ALAIN DE BOTTON Empathy is the ability to step outside of your own bubble and into the bubbles of other people. Empa...
C. JOYBELL C. Thus the effect of his gift of wisdom is to make us more humble, more joyful, more godly, more quick...
J.I. PACKER But doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his ag...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Aside from all that, she was carrying about a million tons of titanium ore to the heavy industries o...
CHRISTINA ENGELA It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only ...
LOUIS SACHAR It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only ...
OLD CHINESE PROVERB A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever...
MARGARET MEAD You might be tough, but you can only be so tough for so long, you know what I mean? The brain can on...
CONOR MCGREGOR 'Tis beauty that doth oft make women proud; but, God He knows, thy share thereof is small.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE There is no wisdom save in truth. Truth is everlasting, but our ideas about truth are changeable. On...
MARTIN LUTHER Take no repulse, whatever she doth say; For 'get you gone,' she doth not mean 'away.' Flatter ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The real thing that keeps men and women apart, is fear. Women blame men and men blame women, but the...
C. JOYBELL C. Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be...
GARY F EVANS... [A] final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works.
T. E. KALEM I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
N. B.: ...
S. G. TALLENTYRE Only a very small portion of this body was visible. Only just a very small part of the foot.
BILL DONIEL The only thing that we know is that we know nothing and that is the highest flight of human wisdom.
LEO TOLSTOY The only thing that we know is that we know nothing and that is the highest flight of human wisdom.
LEO TOLSTOY The only thing that we know is that we know nothing and that is the highest flight of human wisdom.
LEO NIKOLAEVICH TOLSTOY May I never neither turn left nor turn right in my journey of life, but may I go straight to Christ ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irr...
FRAN LEBOWITZ The road must be trod, but it will be very hard. And neither strength nor wisdom will carry us far u...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferab...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON the only way in which a human being can make some approach to knowing the whole of a subject, is by ...
JOHN STUART MILL To comprehend the Wisdom of this Injunction the better, and explain the Duty before us, it should be...
CHARLES INGLIS By their very nature, human beings are so capricious, so complex, so delightfully contradictory, tha...
AMOR TOWLES Yes, we love peace, but we are not willing to take wounds for it, as we are for war. - Wisdom in S...
JOHN ANDREW HOLMES No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowle...
KAHLIL GIBRAN Let's get on to O. J. Simpson because we only have two minutes and this is very interesting to me. ....
BILL O'REILLY Only the wisdom of God and the fear of the Lord can protect a person from the temptations that are h...
SUNDAY ADELAJA The thirst that from the soul doth rise, Doth ask a drink divine; But might I of Jove's nectar...
BEN JONSON Survival of the fittest" in the commonly used animal sense is not a theory or principle for a "time-...
ALFRED KORZYBSKI Well, of course, people are only human... But it really does not seem much for them to be.
IVY COMPTON-BURNETT We have tears in our eyes
As we wave our goodbyes,
We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
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