Buy or borrow self-improvement books, but don't read them. Stack them around your bedroom and use them as places to rest bowls of cookies.

Watch exercise shows on television, but don't do the exercises. Practice believing that the benefit lies in imagining yourself doing the exercises.

Don't power walk. Saunter slowly in the sun, eating chocolate, and carry a blanket so you can take a nap.

S.A.R.K.