But while mum and dad were incredibly caring, it was also a very chaotic household where everyone fought about everything. So I know what it's like to internalize all that chaos.
Dave Eggers
Related If it's about what I like, I like opera as a music and deathstep and dubstep. DEYTH BANGER I'm going to take care of the man I'm with. I grew up in a household where my mum takes care... NICOLE SCHERZINGER Now Dave Eggers, if you lived in San Francisco, is not an easy person to be done with. Everyone - an... JAMES BERNARD FROST It's incredibly liberating to spend an hour talking to someone and not caring about what you sou... SHAKIRA There are two worldviews in thriller writing: the paranoid view, like Chuck Logan's, that everyt... JOHN SANDFORD I equate fame towards people who know your work, people who will see your work. But all that stuff, ... SANDRA OH While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone ... MAYA ANGELOU Everyone talks about new love all the time, but there's so much to draw from when you've bee... DIERKS BENTLEY My favorite thing about 'Saturday Night's Main Event,' it was that one time where I coul... JOHN CENA Mum and dad thought I was going to say I was pregnant. I said oh no, no, I've just been nominate... MELISSA GEORGE I was definitely incredibly close to my dad, in a way that was all-encompassing. I am close to my mu... NATASHA RICHARDSON Ours was a very progressive Protestant family, but my parents were God-loving rather than God-fearin... JAMES NESBITT While 'The Help' is in so many ways a celebration of these women's friendships and what ... BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD On my mother's side, I'm English, so that's where the freckles come from. On my father... DAN FEUERRIEGEL My mum left my dad when I was six months old, so I don't know him at all. I had no male figures ... CATHERINE TATE Since I was a boy, from this house, I was out rescuing crocodiles and snakes. My mum and dad were ve... STEVE IRWIN Yeah, I wanted to know where they got it from, what it was all about, you know, and it seemed to str... ERIC CLAPTON My dad's a firefighter, so I know what it's like for policemen and firefighters to be on the... J. J. WATT Before you worry about what genre it is, about whether it's a loop or a drum, it's about wha... BETH ORTON My dad's a Republican. My dad's my mentor. When I was 18 or whatever it was and I decided to... PATRICK MURPHY My mum always told me I was precious, while my dad always told me I was worthless. I think that'... ALAN CUMMING My mum is, like, my biggest fan, and she's the one who will basically do all the publicity for m... DAN FEUERRIEGEL While American football is very structured and linear and static - where everyone lines up, and ther... GABRIEL LUNA I've never tried to find my real parents. I'm very grateful to my mum and dad for adopting m... DAN STEVENS For me, it's about the way I carry myself and the way I treat other people. My relationship and ... BEYONCE KNOWLES But 'Cuban Linx' was a project that really needed to come, and I really wanted to get it off... RAEKWON Yes, I learned history at school; I know everything about apartheid. My dad, he bought the books abo... CASTER SEMENYA After I had my kids, I realized it's pretty much all about instinct - you have to do what's ... TORI SPELLING I was living at home until about 27 and decided it was time to move out and move somewhere else, so ... OLLY MURS It was always so hot, and everyone was so polite, and everything was all surface but underneath it w... JAMES MCBRIDE My dad worked nights mostly and while we were growing up, and my mother also worked, so there were t... SCOTT KELLY I don't know if I'm a tortured soul, but I was born heartbroken. I remember feeling it when ... FKA TWIGS Oh, I love Nottingham. I know some people go, 'Oh God, there's not much going off there,'... VICKY MCCLURE And I also am very nervous about implants. You know, I'm just nervous about all that. So I could... LYNN REDGRAVE I was the class clown, you know, that kind of thing, and I gathered around me a group of guys who al... DICK VAN DYKE It was in the '80s, so I guess big hair and high bangs. And I had so many gummy bracelets! While... CANDACE CAMERON BURE I went to an all-girls' Christian convent school run by nuns. It was fun, but when I was 15, I s... FREIDA PINTO I think the end of last year when we were aware of that transition was for everyone in their own way... STOCKARD CHANNING I grew up in a funeral home, born and raised, and everyone was always like, 'Well, what was that... TAMARA TUNIE It's very nice having my mum as my agent. You know that she's always doing what's best f... FREDDIE HIGHMORE It felt like I was living in two worlds. There was one world which was a daylight world and another ... LAURIE MATTHEW I'm from a normal household. I haven't always had millions to spend on creams and clothes. I... ABBEY CLANCY My mum is slightly biased and feels everything I do is wonderful, but Dad was like, 'You should ... DULQUER SALMAAN I grew up thinking that it's okay to be sad, angry, and express your emotions. I have also bange... ALIA BHATT My dad is a lawyer and my mom is an artist. So growing up was exactly what it sounds like - strict h... TY SEGALL I think the success of 'Downton' is partly because there are effectively 18 leading characte... MICHELLE DOCKERY If I ever have a son, I would call him Frankie, and it's a family name - it's my dad and my ... FRANK LAMPARD It's super trippy coming to America because we know everything about it - from music and film. I... WATKIN TUDOR JONES City people live the city. We live in L.A., New York, we live in places where it's chaotic and y... ALICE COOPER One of the great things about Sydney is that it has a great acceptance of everyone and everything. I... BAZ LUHRMANN I know subconsciously how my dad would attack certain offenses, all that kind of stuff, ... Dad was ... REX RYAN Everything I know about her is from what my dad has told me - it is not a lot. From all accounts tho... LAUREN BELL I internalize everything, keep everything inside. I'm not used to spilling my guts, and when you... DAVE BAUTISTA II grew up in Australia, but I'm not from there originally. Like, my dad's South American, s... NATHALIE KELLEY My mum and dad had worked incredibly hard to afford me an education. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH I'm just naturally quite toned. My dad was like a body builder, so I've got my dad's bod... REBECCA MADER The way President Abraham Lincoln is said to have handled a person who had a know-it-all attitude. L... JOHN C. MAXWELL The man or woman that believes their success soley rests on their actions is sorely mistaken. JOHN LEACH I had a very spoilt childhood. Not that my family were incredibly wealthy, but we lived on the beaut... MARIE HELVIN I think he was revolutionary, the first real American poet to talk about America. He incorporates al... JENNIFER SNOW It was a long time ago: 'Angela's Ashes' by Frank McCourt. It was a great story that was... ISABEL GILLIES I love India so much. It's sort of the most chaotic but also disciplined place at the same time.... MANISH DAYAL Mum doesn't like it when I mention that Dad's a better cook than her. He was born in Spain a... PALOMA FAITH About 80 percent of the photos on Flickr are public and searchable by everyone. In one sense, it'... STEWART BUTTERFIELD 'If I Should Love Again' - I was just so impressed with myself writing something like that. ... BARRY MANILOW My mum especially listens to music in a way that is incredibly feelings-based. There's virtually... JAMES BLAKE It's funny landing parts now where I'm somebody's mum. I remember the first time I was a... NATASHA LITTLE It was about family, albeit dysfunctional. But it was about family, and I think that?s what draws pe... LINDA GRAY I think about a Richard Avedon photo series, the kind of faces he gets of real people, which I find ... CARY FUKUNAGA There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.'... MARGOT ROBBIE After Puberty Blues , I ran away. It was so daunting to go from overnight nonentity to major celebri... KATHY LETTE My mum is the funniest and sweetest person I know; my sister's like my best friend, so it's ... JACOB WHITESIDES Everything I do in my life I do to make my mum and dad proud. I want to carry on in my dad's foo... BINDI IRWIN Mum and Dad were both happy for me to do what I wanted. IAN MCSHANE I remember in 'Pride and Prejudice' I had to do a scene where I broke down. And before we fi... CAREY MULLIGAN If I just do everything the opposite of what my dad did, I think that will make things pretty easy. ... DERRICK ROSE I kind of feel like I've been eating professionally for a long time. I've tasted everything.... DUFF GOLDMAN I've read stories that are set in a celebrity's house, and you know where it is and what it ... DANICA PATRICK Me, it was always about being able to bounce around to where I wanna be. Like, with 'Arular,'... M.I.A. I know who my dad is, I've met him a few times, but I don't even call him dad. I know it sou... SALLY PEARSON I felt, that night, on that stage, under that skull, incredibly close to everything in the universe,... JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER What is it that makes you so angry, bothers you so deeply, that you're compelled to act? CRAIG GROESCHEL My dad was a labourer and my mum had exactly the same job as Noel Gallagher's mum - she was a di... DANNY BOYLE He never seemed to get tired. Always first up and ready to move on. Never afraid of what lay ahead. ERIN HUNTER I grew up on a farm in a small town where you do or say one thing and everybody knows about it. You ... GARRETT HEDLUND I've fallen victim to worrying about what everybody thinks. It's never going to be that ever... KALEY CUOCO It's funny because I think it also goes very well with the show. It has this reputation as being... CAROLINE DHAVERNAS One of the things that I find so exciting about life is that you're constantly surprised. You ne... JEFF BRIDGES Often as a child you see someone with a learning disability or Down's Syndrome and my mum and da... CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON To be honest, what I struggled with in my degree is what's so helpful when it comes to social me... ELISE ANDREW I guess it's flattering that everyone believed I was those characters, but it also is dehumanizi... DAVID BOWIE If I do a movie where I have to have a son and it's a chubby kid, my mother is always like, '... KEVIN JAMES I feel like it's me singing back to myself as a younger person and saying have confidence in being a... CORINNE BAILEY RAE It happened on 'Laguna Beach' where you don't know what's real and fake, and I saw c... KRISTIN CAVALLARI I don't often know exactly what's coming next, and that makes it more fun. And you know, for... R. A. SALVATORE If it's just screaming - and I know this sounds so ridiculous - that gets old. But sometimes whe... ROBERT PATTINSON I think it's important to remember that you go into something like marriage knowing that you don... JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE Texture is very important. Just the feel of everything. It's not always about recording everythi... WASHED OUT Honestly, I was such a tomboy as a kid. People were taking from their mothers' closets - I was t... LAUREN GRAHAM I think when I was a kid, and I was in England and it was all about The Stones, The Who, The Kinks a... SLASH
More Dave Eggers
And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra... DAVE EGGERS So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio... DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a... DAVE EGGERS That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth... DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l... DAVE EGGERS Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. DAVE EGGERS We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time... DAVE EGGERS We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c... 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As they're coming up with the... DAVE EGGERS It was just an idea I had, that it could be cool to have a book covered in fake fur. DAVE EGGERS There's nothing to be gained from passive observance, the simple documenting of conditions, because,... DAVE EGGERS Who's got the Paris Review? ... It's under a new editor. DAVE EGGERS The idea of 'Voice of Witness' is to let survivors and witnesses of human-rights abuses tell... DAVE EGGERS It's not that our family has no taste, it's just that our family's taste is inconsistent... DAVE EGGERS I'm interested in the human impact of the giant foot of misplaced government. After all, we enco... DAVE EGGERS His lies were so exquisite I almost wept. DAVE EGGERS Yes, a dark time passed over this land, but now there is something like light. DAVE EGGERS She needs a new journal. The one she has is problematic. To get to the present, she needs to page th... DAVE EGGERS There’s less need to slowly acclimate these guys to the tank,” Bailey said. “They’ll be food... DAVE EGGERS But while Sasha told us that in America even the most successful men can have but one wife at once--... DAVE EGGERS Max had to think about these new developments. He hadn't liked getting hit by a rock--his stomach st... DAVE EGGERS It's not that our family has no taste, it's just that our family's taste is inconsistent. DAVE EGGERS Our town was rigid in many ways, in terms of the uniformity of things, the colors of skin, the makes... DAVE EGGERS Again the greatest use of a human was to be useful. Not to consume, not to watch, but to do somethin... DAVE EGGERS This democracy thing, or Demoxie, whatever it is, good god. Under the guise of having every voice he... DAVE EGGERS The raising of a child is the building of a cathedral. You can't cut corners. DAVE EGGERS You see pictures of Buddha and he’s sitting, reclining, at peace. The Hindus have their twelve-arm... DAVE EGGERS Here though, there are no oppressors. No one's forcing you to do this. You willingly tie yourself to... DAVE EGGERS Dear Producers, Something is radiating deep within me and it must be transmitted or I will imp... DAVE EGGERS THE BOUNTY In her kitchen, she saw many things she would like to eat. On the counter, there was... DAVE EGGERS First of all, I know it’s all people like you. And that’s what’s so scary. Individua... DAVE EGGERS I'd rather people just borrow the idea and do their own thing in their own community, ... Whenever p... DAVE EGGERS [After this interview Eggers is off to a meeting in midtown Manhattan. Then come more appointments a... DAVE EGGERS The house is a factory. DAVE EGGERS Through the small tall bathroom window the December yard is gray and scratchy, the tree calligraphic... DAVE EGGERS Like I don’t know the first thing about how to be simply grateful that I’m alive. Maybe that’s... DAVE EGGERS That is when the commitment to change would be put to the test: when the cameras are gone and the re... DAVE EGGERS it seemed, had some purpose, even if that purpose was just to ask for something. DAVE EGGERS But you know, there's something about the kids finishing their homework in a given day, working ... DAVE EGGERS I publish my own books, so there isn't a certain editor I owe the book to at a publishing house. DAVE EGGERS McSweeney's as a publishing company is built on a business model that only works when we sell ph... DAVE EGGERS I've purposely stayed away from reading much about postmodern theory, and most everything I have... DAVE EGGERS My mind, I know, I can prove, hovers on hummingbird wings. It hovers and it churns. And when it's op... DAVE EGGERS I have no idea how people function without near-constant internal chaos. I'd lose my mind. DAVE EGGERS Still though, I think if you're not self-obsessed, you're probably boring. DAVE EGGERS All we really want is for no one to have a boring life, to be impressive, so we can be impressed. ~ ... DAVE EGGERS Why do you want to be on The Real World? -Because I want everyone to witness my youth DAVE EGGERS We feel that to reveal embarrassing or private things, we have given someone something, that, like a... DAVE EGGERS It seemed the whole world knew this person named Diana, and if the world knew her, the connection be... DAVE EGGERS If a boy became sick he walked alone; the others were afraid to catch what he had, and did not want ... DAVE EGGERS We thought we were young and that there would be time to love well sometime in the future. This is a... DAVE EGGERS This morning there s first a predictable story about Darfur; an expert on African affairs notes that... DAVE EGGERS The truth is that I do not like hanging in there. I was born, I believe, to do more. Or perhaps it's... DAVE EGGERS It was always difficult to get cattle returned once a marriage was dissolved. DAVE EGGERS But without William K, I would have forgotten that I had not been born on this journey. That I had l... DAVE EGGERS The issue is complex, but like many matters in Sudan, it is not as complex as Khartoum would want th... DAVE EGGERS I often cannot believe the things I do. DAVE EGGERS But we're no longer rain, I said, we're no longer seeds. We're men. Now we can stand and decide. Thi... DAVE EGGERS I have had friends who I decided were not good friends, were people who brought more trouble than ha... DAVE EGGERS In hospitals I feel palpable comfort. I feel the competence, the expertise, so much education and mo... DAVE EGGERS Hello Frances, I have just been to health class, and I was wondering how your feminine parts were de... DAVE EGGERS Nothing again. No one is listening. No one is waiting to hear the kicking of a man above. It is unex... DAVE EGGERS I will tell these stories...because to do anything else would be something less than human. I speak ... DAVE EGGERS I lost someone very close to me and afterward I believed I could have saved him had I been a better ... DAVE EGGERS I had forgotten that, and so many things. How could I put everything down on paper? It seemed imposs... DAVE EGGERS My plans are a jumble for now, but I do know certain things that I will and will not do. [...] I wil... DAVE EGGERS I had the sensation that I might always be running like this, that I would always have to run, and t... DAVE EGGERS If I ever fall in love again, I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and... DAVE EGGERS This boy thinks I am not of his species, that I am some other kind of creature, one that can be crus... DAVE EGGERS I cannot count the times I have cursed our lack of urgency. If I ever love again, I will not wait to... DAVE EGGERS Every part of my body felt electric. My chest ached and my head throbbed with the great terrible lim... DAVE EGGERS Whatever I do, however I find a way to live, I will tell these stories. I have spoken to every perso... DAVE EGGERS Humans are divided between those who can still look through the eyes of youth and those who cannot. DAVE EGGERS But everyone disappears, no matter who loves them. DAVE EGGERS I can remember exactly where I sat when my teacher first read Roald Dahl's 'James and the Gi... DAVE EGGERS He was warm, partly because he had on many layers, and partly because boys whoa re part wolf and par... DAVE EGGERS Thank you," he says. "Thank who?" "I don't know. You?" "No, not me. Jesus ." DAVE EGGERS There are many Saudi women doctors, and there are many wealthy and powerful and well-educated Saudi ... DAVE EGGERS Because I grew up with this naive expectation of people doing right, I get shocked by every little v... DAVE EGGERS You have what I can afford to give. You are a panhandler, begging for anything, and I am the man wal... DAVE EGGERS Having lost people when they were young, you feel intimately acquainted with mortality, I guess. Tho... DAVE EGGERS I've never had WiFi at home. I'm too easily distracted, and YouTube is too tempting. DAVE EGGERS I really believe strongly that kids should be spared the runoff of their parents' lives and prob... DAVE EGGERS So many of the things I invented I honestly did for fun, out of some perverse game of whether or not... DAVE EGGERS I am myself a failed cartoonist, There are a million reasons to ruin things. DAVE EGGERS Three-dimensional results are important to me. I did once spend some time just writing, and floating... DAVE EGGERS You treat a kid with respect and as an adult you talk to them as if they're smart people. But yo... DAVE EGGERS High school teachers who want to get reluctant readers turned around need to give the students some ... DAVE EGGERS Existing, period – that is what drives men to irrational acts. DAVE EGGERS I am myself a failed cartoonist, DAVE EGGERS –Don’t you think the vast majority of the chaos in the world is caused by a relatively small gro... DAVE EGGERS You will die, and when you die, you will know a profound lack of it [dignity]. It's never dignified,... DAVE EGGERS I like the dark part of the night, after midnight and before four-thirty, when it's hollow, when cei... DAVE EGGERS I wondered quickly if I'd give my life so that a dragon could live. If someone offered me that deal,... DAVE EGGERS The idea we came up with, well before we left, was something we coined Performance Literature. Excus... DAVE EGGERS But the grind has begun. The windows don’t open, and even the availability of near-constant jokes ... DAVE EGGERS But criticism, for the most part, comes from the opposite place that book-enjoying should come from.... DAVE EGGERS I think almost every writer in the world would hope that books would be always talked about with res... DAVE EGGERS Every time I get through the work on a book of nonfiction, I say I'll never do it again; it take... DAVE EGGERS I grew up north of Chicago, not far from where the Schwinn bicycle plant used to be, and was conscio... DAVE EGGERS I went to Saudi Arabia in 2010, and spent most of my time in Jeddah and the King Abdullah Economic C... DAVE EGGERS To me any given story has its appropriate form. There might be some story I get involved with that... DAVE EGGERS Some of these kids just don't plain know how good they are: how smart and how much they have to ... DAVE EGGERS People are strange, but more than that, they're good. They're good first, then strange. DAVE EGGERS But Saudi Arabia is surprising in a lot of ways. Like any place, or any people, it relentlessly defi... DAVE EGGERS I met a lot of great people in Saudi Arabia and I'd like to see them again. And I'd love to ... DAVE EGGERS I mean, all this stuff you're involved in, it's all gossip. It's people talking about each other beh... DAVE EGGERS One might think that a boy who was out in the snow for so long would get cold, but Max was not. He w... DAVE EGGERS The country he had left thirty years ago had been a realistic place. There were political realities ... DAVE EGGERS How do you know this? Because I'm always watching people. When I watch people I too look... DAVE EGGERS SECRETS ARE LIES SHARING IS CARING PRIVACY IS THEFT DAVE EGGERS If somebody here isn't tolerant and accepting, we haven't met them yet. DAVID EGGERS When we moved out of Manhattan - where nobody speaks to anyone else even though they all live close ... DAVID EGGERS I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ... DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But... DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi... DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe... DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a... DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod... DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t... DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui... DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s... DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk. DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou... DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a... DAVE BRUBECK That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible. DAVE HAYWOOD The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se... DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each... DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be... DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ... DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ... DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea... DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ... DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts. DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're... DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do... DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va... DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'... DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ... DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts.. Everything is ONE! DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY I'm so alive. As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte... DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr... DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi... DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on... DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu... DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church. DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Wake up naked drinking coffee Making plans to change the world While the world is changing... DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY