But I also felt like an eggshell that had gotten a tiny crack. You can’t repair something like that. All you can do is hope that it sticks together, hope that the crack doesn't grow until all your insides come spilling right out.

This should have been a red flag, I realize in retrospect. Working really hard on anything is, by definition, not cool.

It wasn't an effect of alcohol. It was more like we got drunk on the night.

Of course, as always, there is an arbitrary, invisible fence in place. You can't see it, but it will always keep you out. It will always encircle happiness and keep you out.

In Bio last year, I learned that blood is actually a dark maroon when it's inside your body. It's the exposure to oxygen that turns it bright red. And there must have been a lot of oxygen in my bathroom, because that blood was bright, bright red.

I liked projects where I could take things apart and figure out exactly how they worked. The problem is, you can't do that with people.