Because you don't live near a bakery doesn't mean you have to go without cheesecake.

I don't fear death because I don't fear anything I don't understand. When I start to think about it, I order a massage and it goes away.

I never go to funerals. To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time. After that, your memories should be personal.

All a woman needs is a good bath, clean clothes, and for her hair to be combed. These things she can do herself. I very seldom go to the hairdresser, but when I do, I just marvel.

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

I find very often that very ugly women have really handsome men and vice versa because they don't have any competition. Sometimes handsome men have avoided me.