Because I've lived in one room my entire life, working at the same table that you use to pay bills at and eat at. It's going to be nice to have actual space.


Augusten Burroughs

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A stay-at-home mom is a working mom. Being a stay-at-home mom is a job.
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The sad heart needs work to do.
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No woman ever ages beyond eighteen in her heart.
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Not everyone has the time to be normal.
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Dare to seize all the opportunities on your paths.
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I had a friend at college who took being poor very personally. He started showering in the sports ce...
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To be, or not to be, that is the question.
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Quiero que [mi hijo] conozca el secreto de la felicidad, algo tan sencillo que da la impresión de q...
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My mother was predominately a stay-at-home mom.
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So this is going to be drill!?
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Getting up from the table, shaking a little at her unraveling, Ari cuffed Charlie across the head. �...
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We eat fried eggs, biscuits and gravy, French toast, things like that. Let's just say they won't set...
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Well, I have lost you; and I lost you fairly;
In my own way, and with my full consent.
Say...
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If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.
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She had about her a strong smell of hair-spray and her lunch-time whisky.
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There's no sitting, no sleeping, no kidding. You have to eat standing up at a high table.
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My mother was a working woman, and I was alone a lot. So I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.
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To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be.
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We don't have enough room for evening aerobics, because the Scouts are using that space at night.
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By just looking at the dark side of life, you cannot make it bright!
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Just because it won't last doesn't mean it isn't worth something.
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To be or not to be. That's not really a question.
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I've got to be honest, there's no pleasure when you're working.
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What you are good at, you never do it free!
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For several moments he did not move from the doorway: he heard the girl’s soft, thin voice rise ab...
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To be rich simply means,to be able to meet people's need.
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when your heart touched mine,I knew then we were one.
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To be rich simply means to be beneficial to others.
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More than any woman I ever knew, she comforted.' -Mrs. Huxley about Emma
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That's silly,' said Martha. 'Friends should always tell each other the truth.
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As always, we're doing a series of films that our audiences have asked for, and that also fulfill a ...
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I've never written lyrics in my life. Now I'm going to have to. And I've never played the guitar and...
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We can't have people at the partnership wondering if they can pay the bills.
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And I tend to listen to NPR when I'm not writing.
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If we happened to be in rehearsal downstairs in my room and a neighbor padded across the lawn to rap...
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Unconditional love. That's what this is. I love him, as is, fully. I've had to stop arm wrestling wi...
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I told myself, 'All I want is a normal life'. But was that true? I wasn't so sure. Because there was...
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I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Because they are all you have...
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You deserve to need me, not to have me.
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Augusten very distant tonight. Probably because of my games.
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Suddenly, this word fills me with a sense of sadness I haven't felt since childhood. The kind of sad...
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Think of your head as an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone.
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Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth
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Never work with children, puppies or bulimics
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After I cut off his penis, I sautéed it in rosemary butter and ate it"
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There's not enough of me left over.
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You have an incredible body." He reaches out to touch my stomach. I feel no pleasure in his complime...
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We haven't slept together. But we've napped
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His laugh is made if porch swings and lemonade
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He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me.
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...handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a handsome person in crisis is riveting.
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Part of me believes that love is more valuable when you have to work for it.
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Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people.
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I think I love him, but I also think that you can love people who aren't good for you.
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I know now: what is is all that matters. Not the thing you know is meant to be, not what could be, n...
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Marriage is overdone. As long as there are people, people are going to find it interesting.
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I love to both give and receive very old books.
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Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.
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Let the people who want to have kids, have them. And let the rest of us spend the extra money on our...
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As I sat in the hot, salty water, I thought, 'No wonder Mr. Bubble always gives me a urinary tract i...
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The only other people who have had experiences similar to those of this man were locked up inside in...
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If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be t...
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Give that mint Milano back, you bitch. If you can't at least be polite, you don't get a treat.
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but I am not here ironically; I am here sincerely.
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I think…Have I given up anything by living with another person? Has there been a trade-off?
<...
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It was impossible to escape her. She provided no natural break in the conversation, and she spoke wi...
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It turns out that (he) has a condition known as micropenis. This means his penis is less than three ...
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It was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space o...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
I believe in the baby Jesus, and I believe he is handsome and lives in the sky with his pet cow. I b...
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I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself am made entirely of fla...
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your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone.
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I like it when she's shiny, like a star, like a guest on the Donnie and Marie Show.
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Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some peopl...
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Are you one of those people who says on a first date, 'I'm really not in a hurry to meet somebody, I...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
I never listen to music when I write.
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outsi...
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I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a...
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I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a colle...
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My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they h...
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Once I decided to write, to be published, I knew it would happen.
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
Reading takes solitude and it takes focus.
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
There's never a false note in a Berg novel.
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
Because I've lived in one room my entire life, working at the same table that you use to pay bil...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
I like, though, that people have a hunger to connect with other people. They're desperate to kno...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's somet...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind o...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
Turn off the light," she says as she walks away, creating a small woosh that smells sweet and...
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Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal.
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
I will please shut the hell up the day you please drop the hell dead
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior.
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
How beautiful the leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Man takes root at his feet, and at best, he is no more than a potted plant in his house or carriage ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
We love the sight of the brown and ruddy earth; it is the color of life, while a snow-covered plain ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
As with other phases of nature, I have probably loved the rocks more than I have studied them.
JOHN BURROUGHS
You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Most young people find botany a dull study. So it is, as taught from the text-books in the schools; ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
All sounds are sharper in winter; the air transmits better.
JOHN BURROUGHS
A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Leap, and the net will appear.
JOHN BURROUGHS
The human body is a steed that goes freest and longest under a light rider, and the lightest of all ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.
JOHN BURROUGHS
A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
JOHN BURROUGHS
If you think you can do it, you can.
JOHN BURROUGHS
How many thorns of human nature are bristling conceits, buds of promise grown sharp for want of cong...
JOHN BURROUGHS
A plump, well-fed stream is as satisfying to behold as a well-fed animal or a thrifty tree. One sour...
JOHN BURROUGHS
There never was a happier or more devoted husband than the male bluebird. He is the gay champion and...
JOHN BURROUGHS
I crave and seek a natural explanation of all phenomena upon this earth, but the word 'natural&#...
JOHN BURROUGHS
For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Man is, and always has been, a maker of gods. It has been the most serious and significant occupatio...
JOHN BURROUGHS
One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: ‘To rise above little things’.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Nature teaches more than she preaches. There are no sermons in stones. It is easier to get a spark o...
JOHN BURROUGHS
In the fields and woods more than anything else all things come to those who wait, because all thing...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Blessed is the man who has some congenial work, some occupation in which he can put his heart, and w...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The secret of happiness is something to do.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Life is a struggle, but not a warfare.
JOHN BURROUGHS
It is always easier to believe than to deny. Our minds are naturally affirmative.
JOHN BURROUGHS
The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot.' You are always nearer th...
JOHN BURROUGHS
I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.
JOHN BURROUGHS
A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.
JOHN BURROUGHS
For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self...
JOHN BURROUGHS
One may summon his philosophy when they are beaten in battle, not till then.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Temperament lies behind mood; behind will, lies the fate of character. Then behind both, the influen...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Some men are like nails, very easily drawn; others however are more like rivets never drawn at all.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Every walk to the woods is a religious rite, every bath in the stream is a saving ordinance. Communi...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The very idea of a bird is a symbol and a suggestion to the poet. A bird seems to be at the top of t...
JOHN BURROUGHS
One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: "To rise above the little things."
JOHN BURROUGHS
Joy in the universe, and keen curiosity about it all -- that has been my religion.
JOHN BURROUGHS
A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.
JOHN BURROUGHS
It is always easier to believe than to deny. Our minds are naturally affirmative.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Serene I told my hands and wait, Nor care for wind or tide nor sea; I rave no more 'gainst tim...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Without death and decay, how could life go on?
JOHN BURROUGHS
Holiness is the very principle of eternal life, the very beginning of eternal life in the heart, and...
JEREMIAH BURROUGHS
The tendinous part of the mind, so to speak, is more developed in winter; the fleshy, in summer. I s...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Our flying squirrel is in no proper sense a flyer. On the ground, he is more helpless than a chipmun...
JOHN BURROUGHS
I am for 100 per cent Americanism, 100 per cent efficiency, and 100 per cent life. I expect to live ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The animal world seizes its food in masses little and big, and often gorges itself with it, but the ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
He who marvels at the beauty of the world in summer will find equal cause for wonder and admiration ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The phoebe-bird is a wise architect and perhaps enjoys as great an immunity from danger, both in its...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Women are about the best lovers of nature, after all; at least of nature in her milder and more fami...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention.
JOHN BURROUGHS
In October, a maple tree before your window lights up your room like a great lamp. Even on cloudy da...
JOHN BURROUGHS
To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed b...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The common bees will never use their sting upon the queen; if she is to be disposed of, they starve ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.
JOHN BURROUGHS
I have discovered the secret of happiness - it is work, either with the hands or the head. The momen...
JOHN BURROUGHS
It seems to me that evolution adds greatly to the wonder of life because it takes it out of the real...
JOHN BURROUGHS
England is not a country of granite and marble, but of chalk, marl, and clay.
JOHN BURROUGHS
August is the month of the high-sailing hawks. The hen hawk is the most noticeable. He likes the haz...
JOHN BURROUGHS
One of the most graceful of warriors is the robin. I know few prettier sights than two males challen...
JOHN BURROUGHS
I seldom go into a natural history museum without feeling as if I were attending a funeral.
JOHN BURROUGHS
To regard the soul and body as one, or to ascribe to consciousness a physiological origin, is not de...
JOHN BURROUGHS
It is the life of the crystal, the architect of the flake, the fire of the frost, the soul of the su...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Without the name, any flower is still more or less a stranger to you. The name betrays its family, i...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The art of the bird is to conceal its nest both as to position and as to material, but now and then ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
When the woodpecker is searching for food, or laying siege to some hidden grub, the sound of his ham...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The type of mind of Whitman's, which seldom or never emerges as a mere mentality, an independent...
JOHN BURROUGHS
For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The country is more of a wilderness, more of a wild solitude, in the winter than in the summer. The ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Birds and animals probably think without knowing that they think; that is, they have not self-consci...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The life of a swarm of bees is like an active and hazardous campaign of an army: the ranks are being...
JOHN BURROUGHS
One reason, doubtless, why squirrels are so bold and reckless in leaping through the trees is that, ...
JOHN BURROUGHS
If America wishes to preserve her native birds, we must help supply what civilization has taken from...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Science has done more for the development of western civilization in one hundred years than Christia...
JEFF BURROUGHS
Living in the city is a discordant thing, an unnatural thing. The city, a place to which one goes to...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The red squirrel is more common and less dignified than the gray, and oftener guilty of petty larcen...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The love of nature is a different thing from the love of science, though the two may go together.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Emerson is the spokesman and prophet of youth and of a formative, idealistic age. His is a voice fro...
JOHN BURROUGHS
Literature is an investment of genius which has dividends to all subsequent times
JOHN BURROUGHS
To treat your facts with imagination is one thing, but to imagine your facts is another.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Travel and society polish one, but a rolling stone gathers no moss, and a little moss is a good thin...
JOHN BURROUGHS
The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.
JOHN BURROUGHS
The tendinous part of the mind, so to speak, is more developed in winter; the fleshy, in summer. I...
JOHN BURROUGHS