Beauty is all very well at first sight; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days ?

I hope you have lost your good looks, for while they last any fool can adore you, and the adoration of fools is bad for the soul. No, give me a ruined complexion and a lost figure and sixteen chins on a farmyard of Crow's feet and an obvious wig. Then you shall see me coming out strong.

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.

To a toad, what is beauty? A female with two pop-eyes, a wide mouth, yellow belly and spotted back

A damsel is a genius in the daytime and a beauty at night.