Eoin Colfer
Related LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LINDA KAGE LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL Oh, help!” said Pooh. “I’d better go back.”MILNE, A. A. Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only ... EOIN COLFER The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll te... ALICE IN WONDERLAND LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL Pizza, pizza,EOIN COLFER LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL JODI LYNN ANDERSON Hey,” Shayne said through the door. “You going to stay in there all night, because we’re getti... JILL SHALVIS LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL We're all mad here. CHESHIRE CAT No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's m... EOIN COLFER Artemis and Holly stood together in their underwear, gingerly locking fingers. They had crossed spac... EOIN COLFER The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese. EOIN COLFER Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks? EOIN COLFER Now I can do the bolts," she slurred. "I've been trying to focus enough magic all week."EOIN COLFER I can grow cameras!" she had shrieked at the Brill brothers during one briefing. "Who's to say that ... EOIN COLFER J.K. ROWLING LEWIS CARROLL BETH REVIS Garry Shandling always said to me,“Don’t get mad, get funny.” It changed my life. RIP TORN MICHAEL GRANT LEWIS CARROLL Some people just needed to be stolen from. EOIN COLFER PABLO SANDOVAL KURT VONNEGUT JR. LEWIS CARROLL Ihr könnt nicht alle regieren. Besser, ihr bringt eucht jetzt gleich gegenseitig um", empfiehlt die... NINA MACKAY LEWIS CARROLL He closed the door behind us, and led me through to the back of the shop. ‘If you don’t mind, yo... FIONA THRUST He's around the twist,' said Azalea. 'Breaking all the windows? He's mad.'HEATHER DIXON But he said, I am not mad, most noble Festus said; but speak
forth the words of truth and soberness... BIBLE LEWIS CARROLL Some say that you should turn your face from the light of the moon. They say it makes you mad.DAVID ALMOND NEIL GAIMAN I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night. RUTH RENDELL But oh my dear, I am tired of being Alice in Wonderland. Does it sound ungrateful? It is. Only I do ... MELANIE BENJAMIN PAULO COELHO Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the f... EOIN COLFER They were in a position of total ignorance and people in that position often died without being enli... EOIN COLFER Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right. EOIN COLFER Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.EOIN COLFER ...Is Wonderland really a wonder...when you have nowhere to land? RAVEN GREGORY All my life, people have asked me what I was so mad about. 'Why you so mad?' And I was never... M. C. GAINEY You just go where your high-top sneakers sneak, and don't forget to use your head. CHESHIRE CAT MARISSA MEYER GEORGE BERNARD SHAW I didn't want to get mad. I've been mad all week. Grumpy, nervous. BRUCE WEBER TERRY PRATCHETT J.K. ROWLING When people get mad, they're more likely to do something. When I go back to Congress ... what's happ... CECIL ROBERTS DOUGLAS ADAMS Working here is like being in the middle of an Alice in Wonderland set. NANCY MARTIN LEV GROSSMAN LEWIS CARROLL LEWIS CARROLL SHEL SILVERSTEIN Do you know what they call themselves, all these people?"FRANK BEDDOR LEWIS CARROLL ANNE BISHOP ANONYMOUS V.E. SCHWAB I've never told you the story of Alice in Wonderland, have I? EDGAR BERGEN YAYOI KUSAMA Everybody knew that books were dangerous. Read the wrong book, it was said, and the words crawled ar... FRANCES HARDINGE ENZO FERRARI Alice in Wonderland economics. TOM DASCHLE We're all mad here. ALICE WONDERLAND LEWIS CARROLL We're all mad here. ALICE IN WONDERLAND KRISTEN ASHLEY Certain battles were won by retreating. EOIN COLFER I've never told you the story of Alice in Wonderland, have I? EDGAR BERGEN J.K. ROWLING MIKE DITKA JACK THORNE
More Eoin Colfer
I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger se... EOIN COLFER Good. Illegal is always faster. EOIN COLFER Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know. EOIN COLFER I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared. EOIN COLFER The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting. EOIN COLFER You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I m... EOIN COLFER In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are sm... EOIN COLFER Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, toleran... EOIN COLFER Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on. EOIN COLFER Orion brightened. "I have an idea."EOIN COLFER I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any tim... EOIN COLFER No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's m... EOIN COLFER Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries. EOIN COLFER A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums. EOIN COLFER That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."EOIN COLFER Thankfully the rest of the world assumed that the Irish were crazy, a theory that the Irish themselv... EOIN COLFER What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and H... EOIN COLFER Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”EOIN COLFER Why no aggressive action?" Foaly squirmed in a harness built for two-legged creatures. "Oh yes, why ... EOIN COLFER Holly is alive,' thought FoalyEOIN COLFER Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both? EOIN COLFER So if you're not Artemis Fowl, then who are you?"EOIN COLFER How do I love thee? wondered Orion. "Let me see. I love thee passionately and eternally...obviously ... EOIN COLFER I feel a little dizzy," said Orion. "But also wonderfully elated. I feel that I am on the verge of f... EOIN COLFER I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender? EOIN COLFER Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares! EOIN COLFER Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, Worthy Centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your ... EOIN COLFER It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget. EOIN COLFER Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something."EOIN COLFER Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? EOIN COLFER If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away. EOIN COLFER If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written. EOIN COLFER Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"EOIN COLFER Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on... EOIN COLFER Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moro... EOIN COLFER I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."EOIN COLFER Who are you?" he asked.EOIN COLFER I'm kind of in the dark. All I know is that the screenplay is finished. EOIN COLFER What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wo... EOIN COLFER The trick to negotiation was to hold all the cards going in and, even if you didn't, to try to look ... EOIN COLFER Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what... EOIN COLFER Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss. EOIN COLFER And I will not be beaten by that jackass."EOIN COLFER He threw his head back and sang, "'I am a centaur, yes, a centaur is what I am.' It's not like you t... EOIN COLFER I know what dissipate means, Arty. I'm not three, for heaven's sake. EOIN COLFER this was business. EOIN COLFER Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole. EOIN COLFER Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. EOIN COLFER Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the f... EOIN COLFER Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense. EOIN COLFER Certain battles were won by retreating. EOIN COLFER Anybody see you come in here?"EOIN COLFER Don't worry chief,"said foaly,"It's like riding a unicorn,you never forget. EOIN COLFER What's this?" he inquired, none too pleasantly. "A circus?"EOIN COLFER Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team EOIN COLFER But even though there were plenty of teeth in the grin, there was no heart. EOIN COLFER If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose then I'm mad. That's the way history is written EOIN COLFER Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP ... EOIN COLFER Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes."EOIN COLFER My bugs don't have bugs. EOIN COLFER Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian? EOIN COLFER If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void. EOIN COLFER Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander. EOIN COLFER Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with. EOIN COLFER Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't. EOIN COLFER (to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push ... EOIN COLFER I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shri... EOIN COLFER Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition. EOIN COLFER I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the ... EOIN COLFER The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask. EOIN COLFER I don't like lollipops. EOIN COLFER Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would... EOIN COLFER Trust me. I'm a genius. EOIN COLFER Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that ... EOIN COLFER Of course I saved you," she said. "I couldn't do without you." And because she was happy and flushed... EOIN COLFER Artemis: Holly, how did you find me?EOIN COLFER The little boys did as they were told, eager to please their deranged brother.Ici, g... EOIN COLFER Play along, the wink said. I'll get you out of this.EOIN COLFER how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant.EOIN COLFER The only lesson I really wanted to get across, EOIN COLFER I can invent my own creatures and give them their own powers. It was great fun. EOIN COLFER I can invent my own creatures and give them their own powers EOIN COLFER [When it comes to writing, Colfer admits to being a bit of a perfectionist. Over time, he's learned ... EOIN COLFER He uses it against me, too. One day he said, all those other kids have their books signed by you, so... EOIN COLFER [Right now, on tour, Colfer is missing his wife and two kids but says it would be churlish not to ap... EOIN COLFER I was lucky I was never bullied at school - I had a great gang of friends. EOIN COLFER A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladde... EOIN COLFER Holly EOIN COLFER code red thing.’ Holly EOIN COLFER upprising. EOIN COLFER Pizza, pizza,EOIN COLFER Sometimes, Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker would be thrown out a high window and th... EOIN COLFER The lucky ones hit partitions and went straight through. The unlucky ones collided with solid cinder... EOIN COLFER Butler shot one of the half dozen diners a fierce glare, just in case she might be planning somethin... EOIN COLFER Artemis took a chance on some calculated sarcasm. “Really, Spiro. Did you think I would attempt a ... EOIN COLFER There's nothing more dangerous than a short guy with something to prove. EOIN COLFER Jon Spiro might have “stuff ” that the military didn’t have, but Artemis Fowl had “stuff ”... EOIN COLFER The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head. EOIN COLFER Together we will be unstoppable. EOIN COLFER Waitress: "And to drink?"EOIN COLFER The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can d... EOIN COLFER You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy ... EOIN COLFER So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?"EOIN COLFER The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperanc... EOIN COLFER When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero? EOIN COLFER Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only ... EOIN COLFER (about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl) EOIN COLFER And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a femal... EOIN COLFER This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several ... EOIN COLFER She held out a small voice recorder. 'By the way, could you describe exactly how you felt at the mom... EOIN COLFER You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.EOIN COLFER Excuse me, Tex," the nurse said, hands on hips. 'Would you mind reining in the voice. There are babi... EOIN COLFER Red was smiling back at me. “Ok. I'm not in trouble. But tell me your heart didn't start beating f... EOIN COLFER When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprise... EOIN COLFER Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink. EOIN COLFER Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight. EOIN COLFER It felt like my teeth were sweating. Eoin Colfer's The Legend of Spud Murphy EOIN COLFER Today he became a killer, or else a corpse. EOIN COLFER Artemis and Holly stood together in their underwear, gingerly locking fingers. They had crossed spac... EOIN COLFER Young love is common, but that doesn't mean it's not precious. EOIN COLFER Some people just needed to be stolen from. EOIN COLFER They were in a position of total ignorance and people in that position often died without being enli... EOIN COLFER This might hurt a little is universal code for this will definitely hurt a lot EOIN COLFER The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese. EOIN COLFER Oh,It's going to be so easy to kill you",scoffed Opal. EOIN COLFER Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks? EOIN COLFER Now I can do the bolts," she slurred. "I've been trying to focus enough magic all week."EOIN COLFER I can grow cameras!" she had shrieked at the Brill brothers during one briefing. "Who's to say that ... EOIN COLFER The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really fe... EOIN COLFER Maybe I owe you something too, human," she said, drawing her pistol. Butler almost reacted, but deci... EOIN COLFER Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right. EOIN COLFER Artemis simple-toon EOIN COLFER I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth.EOIN COLFER Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of cour... EOIN COLFER A fifeteen-year old, of to save the world, with faries. - Angeline Fowl EOIN COLFER Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping. EOIN COLFER I'm the nut! EOIN COLFER Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Hors... EOIN COLFER Earth,” he began, ignoring the impulse to open his notes folder and count the words. He knew this ... EOIN COLFER Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube... EOIN COLFER Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time?"EOIN COLFER Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your ... EOIN COLFER Butler snapped his fingers. "Focus, Artemis! Time enough for your Atlantis Complex later. We have th... EOIN COLFER Artemis: I am not buoyed by that.EOIN COLFER Quickly, Holly," said Artemis urgently. "Follow those bubbles."EOIN COLFER Very well, I promise. So, what did you get for me?" Angeline paused for a beat. "Jeans." "What?" cro... EOIN COLFER Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut."EOIN COLFER So, what did you get for me?"EOIN COLFER Orion:"Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn 'round so that I may smite it."EOIN COLFER Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, O... EOIN COLFER Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.EOIN COLFER Are you an angel or a devil, sir? I need to know. Are you taking me up or down? EOIN COLFER All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket. EOIN COLFER Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from... EOIN COLFER He had seen bigger men than he with mummy's handkerchief clutched in on hand and a bloody dagger in ... EOIN COLFER She strode across the McGraney boundary without a backward glance, legs cutting twin swatches in the... EOIN COLFER The others ignored him, busy doing what men generally do in dangerous times: putting on their trouse... EOIN COLFER It looks like you've found an intellectual equal, Mulch," said Holly. "It's a pity he isn't a girl; ... EOIN COLFER Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do. EOIN COLFER They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame. EOIN COLFER HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book?EOIN COLFER Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life. EOIN COLFER It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door t... EOIN COLFER Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test q... EOIN COLFER No one's ever really ready for a troll. EOIN COLFER confidence is ignorance.If your'e feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know EOIN COLFER ...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile." EOIN COLFER Maybe I'm just gonna kill you," says Mike, peeved at being predictable. "You ever think of that?" EOIN COLFER Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts. EOIN COLFER When I went to school, I was already reading and writing. In fact, I was offended that the other kid... EOIN COLFER I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and n... EOIN COLFER I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. EOIN COLFER I often meet frustrated young writers who say they've only got so far and just can't finish ... EOIN COLFER The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one ser... EOIN COLFER It was no time for mercy, it was time to terminate with extreme prejudice. EOIN COLFER No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world. EOIN COLFER There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain. EOIN COLFER This was the perfect place to run her. Put her on the lead and put her on the rail, and you're prett... EOIN HARTY She really hasn't had a lot of experience, but every race she seems to get better and better. She's ... EOIN HARTY After his last race, I wasn't that shocked at the news. (Fulton) said he just felt the decision was ... EOIN HARTY He obviously resents being taken back. 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'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Ca... 
But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice. "Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We'r... 
Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then ... 
I just love crazy people like this,' Murphy said. 'Jack Kerouac people. Mad to live, mad to die, tha... 
Listen,” said Harry firmly. “If you don’t take it, I’m throwing it down the drain. I don’t... 
Everyone, this is the new girl. Elder knows her. New girl, this is everyone.” A few people look up... 
Why do we have to do this in the middle of the night?” Taylor asked.
People want to help me. They want the best for me. I always say thank you to people when they try th... 
Men want a lot of pals—and they don’t want people to get mad at them. 
Please. What’s your name?’ Coraline asked the cat. ‘Look, I’m Coraline. Okay?’ The cat yaw... 
You don't seem mad at all,' she said.
These things do not happen in dreams, dear girl,' he said, vanishing up to his neck. 'They happen on... 
We want a few mad people now. See where the sane ones have landed us! 
He'sh mad?"
Proud?' said Harry. 'Are you mad? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll b... 
The point is, you see," said Ford, "that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yo... 
God, I hope we don’t have to use that,” was all he said out loud. “Oh, come on, Quentina. We�... 
ALICE
*No,* he said gently when her words finally stopped, *they don’t want you. They don’t love you, ... 
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! 
A fine idea,” said Rhy. “But no. We must go out, you see, because we’re on a mission.” 
I, Kusama, am the modern Alice in Wonderland. 
I believe most things can be said in a few lines. 
I haven’t been avoiding you,” 
Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide, as if... 
I always tell people I want to live to be 150 and they say why would you want to do that. I say, wel... 
Green is a soothing color, isn’t it? I mean Gryffindor rooms are all well and good but the trouble... 
It doesn't matter how old I get, I always act like an excited five year-old kid with severe ADD ... 
I was a lone duck in a swan-filled pond who criticized everyone. 
You've got to show the world who you are before it tells you. Otherwise you become victim to someone... 