Aren't fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself?

...No, you're confusing fairy godmothers with sales clerks.

Well you can't believe everything you read. After all, by definition, fiction writers lie for a living.

Don’t worry, though, because Prince Hubert is very handsome and kind. That’s all you wanted in a boyfriend, wasn’t it?”

“No,” I said.

She raised an eyebrow. “It must be. If you had admired any other qualities you would have developed them in yourself, wouldn’t you?”

Which was really too much. I put my hands on my hips. “Aren’t fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, you’re confusing fairy god- mothers with sales clerks.

One of us will just have to stay at the cottage to keep an eye on her.' [...]
Let's see if Widow Hazel wouldn't take her in during the day, maybe teach her something useful -'
No, remember when she learned how to knit? Now we're stuck wearing these dreadful hats.'
Not so loud! She'll hear you.'
In a lower voice one of the dwarfs said, 'H.A.T.S.'
Apparently Snow White didn't know how to knit or to spell.

Let me guess - you're Grumpy?'
He let out a humpf. ' And you would be too, if you'd just spent the last hour searching the forest for your wayward charge.' He walked even faster. 'We tell you to stay inside, we tell you not to talk to strangers. But oh no, you must be out singing to the animals as if the birds didn't do a fine enough job of it. And this after Queen Neferia has already tried to kill you thrice. [...] Which is why you are not to go shopping anymore, no matter how pretty the wares, remember?'
Oh, right.'
[...] when you looked at it that way, Snow White had to be pretty idiotic to keep falling for the same trick.

Isn't that the guy you asked me to throw soda on?"
Colton's head jerked up. He stared first at Reece, then at me. "You asked him to throw soda on me?"
"Of course not. The boy is delirious, That's what happens to children when they're malnourished. They start hallucinating." I put my hand against Reese's forehead as though checking for a temperature. "I'm afraid he has a serious case of it."
Colton folded his arms and continued to glare at me. "No, Charlotte, you have a serious case of it, and I'm not talking about malnourishment."
Reese stepped away from my temperature check and toward Colton. "She said you wouldn't melt like the Wicked Witch of the West, but you might fizz a little." Reese turned back to me. "He never did fizz."
"I'm about to," Colton said. "Just watch for a few more seconds.