Are you okay?" asked Finisterre. "Annoyed," I said, giving him my hand so he could heave me to my feet. "Yes, I should imagine being attacked by a nun might be annoying.
Jasper Fforde
Related You should go order a sweet roll. Those are to die for. And a carne adovada burrito." DARYNDA JONES Who am I, that you should love me?" "You are My Queen," said Eugenides. She sat perfectly still... MEGAN WHALEN TURNER Do you think you might be able to love me someday?" He asked and heard her laugh softly. ... JASMINE DUBROFF You all right?" he said again. I didn't love him, I was far away from him, it was as though I w... MARGARET ATWOOD What would you do if I died? If you died I would want to die too. So you could be with me?... CORMAC MCCARTHY I knew, in the silence that followed, that anything could happen here. It might be too late: again, ... SARAH DESSEN Are you sure you want them to meet me?" she asked. "Yes," he said. "I want everyone to me... RAINBOW ROWELL I dialed the number slowly, wanting to get it right. Two rings, and he picked up. "Yes," I sai... SARAH DESSEN ....And then I turned and saw a guy staring at me.... "What are you looking at, idiot?" I... KRISTAN HIGGINS Okay, okay.” I set my hand on top of his and guide it to my chest, so it’s right over my heart. ... VERONICA ROTH Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct." "Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, i... E. LOCKHART You’ll have sweet dreams?” he asked quietly and sounding like he cared, a lot. God b... KRISTEN ASHLEY Do you know a cure for me?" "Why yes," he said, "I know a cure for everything. Salt water... KAREN BLIXEN Do you know a cure for me? Why yes, he said, I know a cure for everything. Salt water. Salt w... ISAK DINESEN I don’t know. D’you think? He’s pretty wide in the chest.” The girl looked at me... M.T. ANDERSON A—ris—ta?” Degan asked, sounding horse. “What is it?” “A rat bit me,” she said, o... MICHAEL J. SULLIVAN Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. "...and then of course I've got this terrible pa... DOUGLAS ADAMS Shit,” he said. “That was awkward as hell to witness.” “True dat,” Keira murmured. JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Okay, would you like pizza?" "I don't think you des... MELINA MARCHETTA Ladies and gentlemen, Jamal Feldstein-Roth.” I blinked. “Wait, Jamal ?” “Suc... MICHELLE HODKIN If you haven't guessed it already," I said, something fervent and resonating slipping into my tone, ... BECCA FITZPATRICK Juliette,” he says. “Yes?” I can hear him breathing. “Thank... TAHEREH MAFI That I wasn't mad at you . Can't you see that Bella?" He was suddenly intense, all trace of te... STEPHENIE MEYER Try it again," I said. "Kiss me." "No," he said. "Kiss me." "No," And then he smiled.... BENJAMIN ALIRE SáENZ Without thinking, I moved again, reaching out and touching the hand resting near my thigh. Call... JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT Cold,” he said, pressing a finger to my pale wrist. “Not cold so much as underoxygenated,�... JOHN GREEN I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or ... JAMES JOYCE Was he a good kisser, Ms. Lane?” Barrons asked, watching me carefully. I wiped my mouth with ... KAREN MARIE MONING Did you just tell us you're gay?" Asks Nick "Yes." "Okay," he says. Abby swats him. "What?... BECKY ALBERTALLI I wish I could help you" I whisper. You are," he murmurs against my knee. "just dont leave me, ... SIMONE ELKELES Is Tyson okay?" I asked. The question seemed to take my dad by surprise. He's fine. Doing much ... RICK RIORDAN I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her." The traffic warden frowned. "H... DEREK LANDY Don’t worry, due’ane,” He murmured lowly....“Who’s Dewey Anne.” I asked him, voice gruff... AMY LANE What are my options?" "You could read obscure poetry while I play the triangle, I suppose. Or w... MICHELLE HODKIN Silverfish looked down. "Oh. Are you a dwarf?" Cuddy gave him a blank stare. "Are you... TERRY PRATCHETT Do you think," Maxon asked, "that I could still call you 'my dear'?" "Not a chance," I whispere... KIERA CASS Should I leave you two alone?" he asked, changing the subject. "He's taken," I said, acce... DARYNDA JONES Who hit you?" "Why, so you can go beat him up?" "One of the fringe benefits of being my h... LAURELL K. HAMILTON So," he said as we turned onto the main road, the muffler rattling, "I've been thinking." "Yeah... SARAH DESSEN Another thing I don't want on my tombstone," Shane said. You have others?" Claire asked.<... RACHEL CAINE Why are you being so nice to me?' I asked her. 'You know,' she said, 'when you say stuff like t... SARAH DESSEN Witches are naturally nosy,” said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet... TERRY PRATCHETT You want to take me to a movie?" I asked. "Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is ... SARAH DESSEN So are you bisexual?” I had asked, and Todd had laughed at my insistence on label. “... LISA KLEYPAS What's that?" he asked, when I stood beside him again. "Halos," I said with a grin. "For ... RICHELLE MEAD Movie. What's my favorite kind of movie?” “Is there a point to this?” “Please, Luc... KAITLIN SCOTT Portia followed after, a smirk on her face, and Syc hissed as he passed. Donegan waited till th... DEREK LANDY I wished the kiss could have gone on forever. Breaking the embrace, he ran a few fingers through my ... RICHELLE MEAD He smirks, shaking his head and letting his eyes wander. I watch him carefully, wondering what I can... ASHLEY EARLEY Did he show himself?” Nash asked, and I glanced to my right to see him staring at my father, as fa... RACHEL VINCENT How old are you?” she asked. My answer was automatic and ingrained. “Seventeen.” “... STEPHENIE MEYER A learned man came to me once. He said, "I know the way, -- come." And I was overjoyed at ... STEPHEN CRANE Dad?" Jesus asked. "Yes son?" God replied. "Why does man have so many religions?" Jesus as... ANTHONY T. HINCKS I see you are looking at my feet," he said to her when car was in motion. "I beg your pardon?" ... J.D. SALINGER Oh, look, the lights are so pretty,” I said dreamily, having just noticed them. I smiled... JAMES PATTERSON As they say in America, ‘no better time than the present.’” “Or before I change m... KAILIN GOW You tried to kill me. Don't think we won't be telling that story to our kids someday," David said. DEBBIE VIGUIé She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight." [Stephanie] "How'd you get her to leave?" JANET EVANOVICH You ready to play?" Dave asked, bouncing it. "I don't know," I said. "Are you going to cheat?"<... SARAH DESSEN In time she said, "I love you, Oddie." My voice was thick when I replied. "I love you more than... DEAN KOONTZ My mother made a squeaking sound that might of been either "yes" or "help". Poseidon took it as... RICK RIORDAN And by the way, my dear,' he said, 'you might just mention to Mrs. Sutton that if she must read the ... DOROTHY L. SAYERS Yeah, I got her,” Will confirms. “Who you got?” I ask. “You, drunk girl. Come on.�... KRISTEN PROBY I told director of my camp what he said, so he called him and gave him a couple of words. I asked my... ALEXANDER BUNEGIN Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet." "You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed. He fi... RICK RIORDAN Once he asked me what I thought had turned me gay." "I hope you told him you were bitten by a g... CASSANDRA CLARE The houses have been condemned on Memory Lane I’m tired of this struggle that leaves everythi... DAVID LEVITHAN Who are you, Hayes Campbell?” He smiled, his hands burrowing in his pockets. “I’m your b... ROBINNE LEE Fix me," I commanded him. "This thing, what I've done - there's something wrong with me, Noah. Fix i... MICHELLE HODKIN He responded a few minutes later. Okay. I wrote back. Okay. JOHN GREEN Hello, ma’am. How are you today?” he asked one day with a grin on his face the size of Kansas. I... HAZEL CARTWRIGHT I should have known it was going to go downhill from there. “Now, I understand you’re looki... T.J. KLUNE Bearings You are my dear compass, who knows no way but true, so when I'm lost a... LOUISE HAWES Everyone okay?" Mal asked. "Never better," said Genya shakily. David raised hi... LEIGH BARDUGO He gave a hard smile and the oxygen in my lungs evaporated. “We both know I’m not a gentlem... CATE TIERNAN Hobbits always so polite, yes! O nice hobbits! Smeagol brings them up secret ways that nobody else c... J.R.R. TOLKIEN So what was that all about?" "I think," Jace said, "that she asked if she could touch my mango.... CASSANDRA CLARE I understood that now. I wished I could have understood it then. I wished I could have said somethin... KELLEY ARMSTRONG Did she say anything before she died?" he asked. "Yes," the surgeon said. "She said, 'Forgive h... SHERMAN ALEXIE Raphael turned me over and looked at me, his face close to mine. "You and I will never be done.You'r... ILONA ANDREWS So you'll teach me?" Val asked. Ravus nodded agin. "I will make you as terrible as you de... HOLLY BLACK He trapped my hand against his chest and yanked my sleeve down past my wrist, covering my hand with ... BECCA FITZPATRICK Buckley followed the three of them into the kitchen and asked, as he had at least once a day, “Whe... ALICE SEBOLD Answer this question very carefully, kid. Are you a virgin?" The silence was so long I thought ... LILI ST. CROW A man touched me: his hand... my thigh. I touched him too: my fist... his j... JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT Brother—” “I thought we’d already decided we weren’t that, either.” MOLLY MCADAMS Are tou trying to be annoying?" I demanded. My patience was not waning, but entirely gone. "Because ... STEPHENIE MEYER Whatever happened to the dragon?" I mustered my primmest tone. "He has a name, you know."... RICHELLE MEAD What's up?" I asked. You tell me," he said. "You were the one about ready to start making... RICHELLE MEAD You just want me to hold you until you fall asleep?" I didn't answer. He shifted to look s... JAMIE MCGUIRE Well, that's certainly... adequate," I told him, burying my face in his chest. I knew immediately I'... CHARLAINE HARRIS Another snowball, this time it impacted on my shoulder. I dusted the snow off my coat wi... KARINA HALLE Damn, damn, damn," she said. "I never said why I like you, and now I have to go." "That's okay,... RAINBOW ROWELL That weekend my people brought home a big eared gray scrawny kit. He was so loud and anno... MELINDA K. TROTTER Daniel, he said. I would have you follow me. Master!....I will fight for you to the end!.... ELIZABETH GEORGE SPEARE Since you can't touch me, you made something that could, didn't you?" I said. "Yes." My wo... JESSICA VERDAY You be as angry as you need to be," she said. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not your grandma... PATRICK NESS Lexie,” he said, his voice guttural, “I told you this to wake you up. A man like me isn’t capa... SAMANTHA YOUNG I could be worse, you know." "How?" I asked, teasing. "I mean, I have a work ... JOHN GREEN Perriwickturned to Penelope as he set the tray down on a table. "If I might be so bold, my lady-" JULIA QUINN
More Jasper Fforde
If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of d... JASPER FFORDE Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one. JASPER FFORDE He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus. JASPER FFORDE Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anythi... JASPER FFORDE Class clowns become actors. JASPER FFORDE She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderl... JASPER FFORDE If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no g... JASPER FFORDE I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acc... JASPER FFORDE Tangling with the Goliath Corporation generally left you in one of two places: inside a wooden box w... JASPER FFORDE Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so fort... JASPER FFORDE Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be? JASPER FFORDE Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations. JASPER FFORDE На самом деле я подумывал написать самоучитель для фан... JASPER FFORDE She was the sort of parent you would want to have living close by, but only on the grounds that she ... JASPER FFORDE We have it on good authority that they might disguise it as a double entendre in a bedroom farce and... JASPER FFORDE Well, that's it." I said after we had waited for another five minutes and found ourselves still in a... JASPER FFORDE Sometimes living in the BookWorld is like living in Legoland. JASPER FFORDE extraordinary; I could almost see the Cambrian Mountains JASPER FFORDE You are the best, most loving, supportive family anyone could ever have," I said through my sobs. "I... JASPER FFORDE Keep people reading books, Mum; it helps to reinforce and strengthen the indefinable moments that an... JASPER FFORDE Thursday, you mean everything to me. Not just because you're cute, smart, funny and have a de... JASPER FFORDE Strive for the Long Now JASPER FFORDE If it takes us 10 years to get into the shit, it will take us 20 to get out. And the jour... JASPER FFORDE If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now. JASPER FFORDE Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could loo... JASPER FFORDE There are a lot of idiots in this country, and they deserve representation as much as the next man. JASPER FFORDE Reading, I had learned, was as creative a process as writing, sometimes more so. When we read of the... JASPER FFORDE Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captur... JASPER FFORDE It's simple. If you go to see 'Saturday Night Fever' expecting it to be good, it's a corker. However... JASPER FFORDE Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly pa... JASPER FFORDE Reality TV was to me the worst form of entertainment--the modern equivalent of paying sixpence to wa... JASPER FFORDE Dead. Never been that before. Not even once. JASPER FFORDE Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought... JASPER FFORDE So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It'... JASPER FFORDE I work very much on the principle that anything created by mankind has mischief and error hardwired ... JASPER FFORDE Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagin... JASPER FFORDE Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day y... JASPER FFORDE There is no point in expending good money on the pursuit of an engine that can power aircraft withou... JASPER FFORDE If you even *need* a government, added Stig, "you are a life-form flawed beyond redemption. JASPER FFORDE [from the television show,"Evade the Question Time"] At the end of the first round, I wil... JASPER FFORDE Good. Item seven. The had had and that that problem. Lady Cavendish, weren’t you wor... JASPER FFORDE Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex i... JASPER FFORDE Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books. JASPER FFORDE For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas. JASPER FFORDE I'll tell you what love is" I said, "It is blind devotion, unquestioning self humiliation, utter sub... JASPER FFORDE Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time. JASPER FFORDE Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence. JASPER FFORDE Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had t... JASPER FFORDE After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the re... JASPER FFORDE I'm not sure my books would translate into movies very easily. So rather than have someone do a ... JASPER FFORDE I'm not of the opinion that the next logical step for a book is for it to be made into a film. JASPER FFORDE Every book should have a romance. JASPER FFORDE There is a contract between the reader and the writer. The readers give me their hard-earned cash, a... JASPER FFORDE There is a certain degree of 'steampunkishness' that creeps into my books. JASPER FFORDE When you're an author, you're always two people. Jasper the writer is different from Jasper ... JASPER FFORDE I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody ass... JASPER FFORDE When I was about 10 or 11, I realised that people made movies; until then, I had thought they just h... JASPER FFORDE If you give children the freedom to do very little, quite a lot will do very little. JASPER FFORDE The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest. JASPER FFORDE Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing. JASPER FFORDE It took me ten years and seven books to bag an agent - it took me that long to start writing good. JASPER FFORDE I just write books, and I do it without any notion of what I should do or shouldn't do. JASPER FFORDE I hope that in my books there's an undertone of politics, basic tenets of how we should live. JASPER FFORDE Speak to any editor and ask them what they turned down, and they'll have long lists of books. JASPER FFORDE I started writing because I wanted to write scripts, but I wasn't very good at it. Then I starte... JASPER FFORDE Our notions of self-determination are, on the whole, something of a myth. We are governed almost exc... JASPER FFORDE In the creative industries, there are few things more exciting than a zinger - a thought, idea, line... JASPER FFORDE My mind wanders terribly. I'm not wholly annoyed by my daydreaming as it has been immense use to... JASPER FFORDE People who read my books have an open mind when it comes to new, bizarre, interesting and exciting i... JASPER FFORDE Perhaps fantasy offers imaginative escapism more than other genres. JASPER FFORDE I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair ce... JASPER FFORDE The sky was like ebony and the only illumination was the harsh white light of the central streetlamp... JASPER FFORDE I have a very varied taste in music. Everything from rap to classical to Latino to Rat Pack to jazz. JASPER FFORDE …Negligible Senescence… JASPER FFORDE Another one of your quippy japes? JASPER FFORDE Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn't collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs. JASPER FFORDE Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse. JASPER FFORDE The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless... JASPER FFORDE There are two schools of thought about the resilience of time. The first is that time is highly vola... JASPER FFORDE To each our own Hamlet. JASPER FFORDE There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time! JASPER FFORDE The best lies to tell," said Jane, "are the ones people want to believe. JASPER FFORDE You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?' 'Wow,' she said, 'you got it. I thought I w... JASPER FFORDE The best plans are always the simplest. JASPER FFORDE After all, color in itself has no color — it's simply a construction of the mind: a sensation, lik... JASPER FFORDE But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mi... JASPER FFORDE There is no problem on earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea. JASPER FFORDE Her areas of expertise are bar codes, book titles and maps - she has an original Parker Brothers map... JASPER FFORDE 2.5.03.02.005: Generally speaking, if you fiddle with something, it will break. Don't. JASPER FFORDE Unless the hole is MEANT to be square,' I said with a sudden erudition that surprised me, 'in which ... JASPER FFORDE Because there's someone else here in East Carmin. Someone hopelessly unsuitable. It's all a really b... JASPER FFORDE 2.3.06.02.087: Unnecessary sharpening of pencils constitutes a waste of public resources, and will b... JASPER FFORDE He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers." - Dad "Did he n... JASPER FFORDE Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse. JASPER FFORDE Acceptable rules of conduct were suspended when it came to the spoon shortage. The deficit had gotte... JASPER FFORDE I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small s... JASPER FFORDE Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point. JASPER FFORDE A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity. JASPER FFORDE I don't need you to agree with me," she said quietly." I'll go away happy with a little bit of doubt... JASPER FFORDE Defiance through compliance. JASPER FFORDE The youthful stationmaster wore a Blue Spot on his uniform and remonstrated with the driver that the... JASPER FFORDE Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath. JASPER FFORDE If you enjoyed laughing in the face of death, you might like to have a crack at High Saffron. One hu... JASPER FFORDE You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blight... JASPER FFORDE Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. JASPER FFORDE You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.' She pointed to the shelf opposit... JASPER FFORDE the best lies to tell are the ones people want to believe JASPER FFORDE The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the... JASPER FFORDE The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary require... JASPER FFORDE I also read about Heathcliff's unexpected three-year career in Hollywood under the name Buck Stallio... JASPER FFORDE Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lea... JASPER FFORDE I was on HPD--Heathcliff Protection Duty--in Wuthering Heights for two years, and believe me, the Pr... JASPER FFORDE Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled , that's ... JASPER FFORDE Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous. JASPER FFORDE If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream , I must be dafter t... JASPER FFORDE They turned their attention to the wardrobe that held several Armani suits, all of them individually... JASPER FFORDE Father liked word games. He was fourteen times world Scrabble champion. When he died, we buried him ... JASPER FFORDE Businessman, philanthropist, large egg. JASPER FFORDE So you could value your own life," replied the Titan. "Before that you were under the gods' thumbs, ... JASPER FFORDE She opened the door within two seconds of his pressing the doorbell, letting out a stream of cats th... JASPER FFORDE This must have been how it all began with Chymes,” sighed Jack. “A small omission on one ca... JASPER FFORDE ALBINOS DEMAND ACTION ON MOVIE SLUR The albino community demanded action yesterday to stop their unf... JASPER FFORDE If you drive at precisely twenty-nine miles per hour, the rumble strips play ‘Jerusalem’ on the ... JASPER FFORDE Think of this: If it weren’t for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no w... JASPER FFORDE I loved him, officer. More than any woman ever loved an egg. JASPER FFORDE You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack. 'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and ... JASPER FFORDE Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way. JASPER FFORDE How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towar... JASPER FFORDE Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands of antiquarian books. 'Imp... JASPER FFORDE Do I have to talk to insane people?" "You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory. JASPER FFORDE The front room of his house was what I called 'untidy chic'. Prefects weren't subject to the same Ru... JASPER FFORDE So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now? JASPER FFORDE Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may b... JASPER FFORDE True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is... JASPER FFORDE Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the li... JASPER CARROTT I started to develop my comedy skills when I became resident singer at the Boggery Folk Club in Soli... JASPER CARROTT I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfactio... JASPER CARROTT If I were to ask you who the first million-pound show winner was on British TV, you'd probably g... JASPER CARROTT I was raised in South Carolina; I wasn't aware of any art in South Carolina. There was a minor m... JASPER JOHNS There was very little art in my childhood. I was raised in South Carolina; I wasn't aware of any... JASPER JOHNS There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chas... JASPER CARROTT When the amalgam is delivered to your dentist in a special protective box, he has to take extreme ca... JASPER CARROTT At first I had some idea that the absence of color made the work more physical. Early on I was very ... JASPER JOHNS After leaving school, I got a job in a department store not dissimilar to Grace Bros in 'Are You... JASPER CARROTT [To survive has required tenacity. Koreans are reported even to have murdered children and mixed the... JASPER BECKER When you're six years old, the word 'poo' is the funniest word on God's earth, but t... JASPER CARROTT My experience of life is that it's very fragmented; certain kinds of things happen, and in anoth... JASPER JOHNS Intention involves such a small fragment of our consciousness and of our mind and of our life. JASPER JOHNS My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That... JASPER CARROTT Touring has been a major part of my career. I've done a lot of huge shows, including a 13-night ... JASPER CARROTT I have no ideas about what the paintings imply about the world. I don't think that's a paint... JASPER JOHNS Everyone is of course free to interpret the work in his own way. I think seeing a picture is one thi... JASPER JOHNS The only logical thing I can think of is that I knew there were such things as artists, and I knew t... JASPER JOHNS When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jok... JASPER CARROTT I decided that if my work contained what I could identify as a likeness to other work, I would remov... JASPER JOHNS There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your d... JASPER CARROTT Instead we were filling the newspaper with bland, harmless stories, and if there was anything sensit... JASPER BECKER The internet is a perfect example of a beautiful mess. JASPER HARTSUIJKER I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute M... JASPER CARROTT I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newsp... JASPER CARROTT It's kind of like the old Barry Sanders Rule. The first person to him wouldn't take a shot at him. F... ED JASPER Am i on some distant battle field you say? No, I am but in my own mind and dreams replaying the batt... JASPER WILKERSON Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles. JASPER CARROTT I tend to like things that already exist. JASPER JOHNS The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested inte... JASPER CARROTT When you're playing every snap, the problem is you can't give 110 percent on every play. ED JASPER I spent last year with [former Eagles defensive end Derrick] Burgess in Oakland, and he misses this ... ED JASPER We need people. We got money. We don't have people. ED JASPER [Gosh can one guy, I mean, only one, change a team so completely? Evidently he can. Yeah, I could qu... ED JASPER That's one of the main reasons he deserves this (Pro Bowl). Teams are having to change their blockin... ED JASPER Because it's easy to play defense like this. It's harder when the other team has 10 minutes more of ... ED JASPER He's a backside runner. If he catches you running to the ball, he'll make you pay for it. Him making... ED JASPER I bull-rushed the guy. He tackled me. The ref threw the flag, late. So I'm thinking he's calling hol... ED JASPER It's a shame the way that game turned out because Tommy deserves more recognition than he's going to... ED JASPER My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the ... JASPER CARROTT As one gets older one sees many more paths that could be taken. Artists sense within their own work ... JASPER JOHNS My Gullah grandfather is bringing a bag of dust to a vampire war. I feel better. ELLE JASPER To do a drawing for a painting most often means doing something very sketchy and schematic and then ... JASPER JOHNS Mine,” he whispered against my mouth. He kissed me again. “You are mine .” In the ... ELLE JASPER If Nelson keeps working at things and keeps believing in himself, he can go a long way. JASPER WILLIAMS That's the only negative about this. These kids have been working hard all year for a win like this.... JASPER WILLIAMS This was a big win for us. We stepped up and played with a lot of energy tonight. We made some turno... JASPER WILLIAMS The biggest thing is that we out rebounded them. We did a pretty good job on the boards. We pressure... JASPER WILLIAMS I was just listening to my coach. He told me to quit thinking about my shot and just shoot it n let ... JASPER WILLIAMS We didn't execute down the stretch. We didn't rebound during key possessions and that cost us the ga... JASPER WILLIAMS This is definitely a step for Yahoo, and a step for the industry. JASPER MALCOLMSON Industry-best prices will actually show up in Yahoo search results. We have created a search engine ... JASPER MALCOLMSON I had a good year, but those guys had good years, too. It could have gone to any of us. I know it wa... JASPER JOHNSON We're trying to do something that no other team at the school has done. We have a nice run going. We... JASPER JOHNSON I have no reason to feel bitter or think about anything in the past. This is the best place I can be... JASPER JOHNSON I felt comfortable around the guys. I felt it would be a good place for me. ... I respect Coach Rive... JASPER JOHNSON The competition is better than I thought it'd be. And I'm glad of it. I just like to play, and when ... JASPER JOHNSON Ideas either come or they don't come. JASPER JOHNS We have a lot of good players returning from last year and our recruiting class is excellent. I will... JASPER EDWARDS I really admire Rickey Bustle because he kept us up when everybody's head was down. He came in and s... JASPER EDWARDS I wasn't there for spring drills last year, and they had me working out at wide receiver. During the... JASPER EDWARDS At football practices the coaches and the players are really into it. The coaches are very hands-on ... JASPER EDWARDS It's part of a pattern at the Post where they're gradually been getting rid of all the people who wr... JASPER BECKER It's been successfully cheating its way with its nuclear program for something like 20 years, so I t... JASPER BECKER [Details of that extravagance are drawn from Kim's former lackeys.] For all the immense privileges e... JASPER BECKER