And then the horror sets in. All that time I wasn’t crazy; I was, in fact, crazy. It’s hopeless. I’m hopeless. Bipolar disorder. Manic depression. I’m sick. It’s true. It isn’t going to go away. All my life, I’ve thought that if I just worked hard enough, it would. I’ve always thought that if I just pulled myself together, I’d be a good person, a calm person, a person like everyone
Marya Hornbacher
Related I’m sick. It’s true. It isn’t going to go away. All my life, I’ve thought that if I just wor... MARYA HORNBACHER If I were another person, I go on, I wouldn’t want to deal with me, I don’t want to deal with me... ELIZABETH WURTZEL It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me... COCO CHANEL If there’s any redeeming quality that I can find in running away from something, it’s that I’m... CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH It’s not that I’ve been invited to the hole I’m standing in. It’s that I accepted the invita... CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me. DANIEL O'MALLEY I’m trying to be an adult. I’m trying to be responsible. I’m trying not to call home crying. B... JAKE VANDER-ARK I just cash in on the fact that I’m good looking, and I’ve got a nice figure and girls like me. SID VICIOUS Pamela, I’m in love with you. Yeah, it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up! Lemme t... LOUIS C.K. I’ve seen it happen over and over again: a black person gets killed just for being black, and all ... ANGIE THOMAS I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought, there are so many p... REBECCA KATHERINE MARTIN For so many years, I couldn’t understand why every time I thought that someone finally loved me, l... JENNIFER ELISABETH If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where... JAROD KINTZ If I’d been asked to make a list of what I could do without, I’d never have managed it. But by p... J.P. DELANEY It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases, because I�... EMMA WATSON The truth is, part of me is every age. I’m a three-year-old, I’m a five-year-old, I’m a thirty... MITCH ALBOM Grey is… such a mean word. I don’t remember a time when I thought grey was anything but… pain.... DEE JUUSAN It’s always me, isn’t it? I’m not really a very nice person, but for some reason it’s always... JEFF LINDSAY I do feel that I’ve managed to make something I could maybe call my world…over time…little by ... HARUKI MURAKAMI Life isn’t about deserving.” I closed my eyes and sighed. “Aren’t you the one always spoutin... RACHEL VAN DYKEN It’s all right,’ he insisted, ‘I’m perfectly well. Thought I heard, well, a noise that... DOUGLAS ADAMS There’s a pause so yawning I can’t help but think about what it would be like to lean in and kis... LEANNE HALL Just because I’ve been gone from this country for most of my life doesn’t mean I understand it a... FIONA ZEDDE It makes me wonder how I’d be treated if I were like everyone else. Maybe I’m a pretty rotten pe... JODI PICOULT I’ve fallen for her…So hard. I’ve hit the ground. Gone right through it. Never in my life have... TAHEREH MAFI Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all rig... CHRIS FARLEY I don’t know what else I can tell you, other than that I can imagine spending the rest of my life ... NICHOLAS SPARKS If I’m surprised at where I’m at, it’s probably because I’m not listening to the reality tha... CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though... JESS C. SCOTT When interacting with people, I’m always aware that I might be the first vegan this person has eve... WENDY WERNETH If from morning to night we just took care of one thing after another, thoroughly and completely and... CHARLOTTE JOKO BECK If I’m conceited enough to believe I’m invincible, then maybe it will take me doing the very thi... CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH Spending time with you showed me what I’ve been missing in my life. The more time we spent togethe... NICHOLAS SPARKS My life sucks when I’m only half-aware of it. If I quit drinking and saw what it’s really like, ... BECCA FITZPATRICK I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you of all people. Throughout my life you were the one person I c... TABITHA SUZUMA I was trying to feel some kind of good-bye. I mean I’ve left schools and places I didn’t even kn... J.D. SALINGER She was my go-to person. I’d tell her everything. Now, all of those late-night phone calls, all th... JAIME REED Sometimes I just want to go in a room and break things and scream. Like, it’s so much pressure all... LIBBA BRAY I’ve always been good at denial. I didn’t know I’m such an expert that I can crawl into an aba... AMANDA BOUCHET I love you, ” he says , his words harsh and soft all at once. “ I love you and it isn’t enough... TAHEREH MAFI I never thought I was a bad person. I just thought I was the one good person living in a world of ba... DEAN AMBROSE I was a paralegal who worked in the office quite a bit. I think she just realized I was a friendly p... JULI LAX I realize that I quite like this girl. It’s not just that she’s so pretty the words fly out of m... JODI PICOULT First of all . . . I have standards. I’ve never been with an ugly woman. Ever. Second of all,... JAMIE MCGUIRE There’s something simmering inside of me. Something I’ve never dared to tap into, something I’... TAHEREH MAFI I’ve seen how cigarettes went from being advertised in every type of media to being something foun... REBECCA MCNUTT When I was twelve, a fortune teller told me that my one true love would die young and leave me all a... TIFFANIE DEBARTOLO I thought coming here would change things for me, but I’m starting to worry that I’ve done what ... MELISSA DECARLO I’ve never had a job I was afraid to lose, a bill I worried about paying or met a person hoping I ... CARLOS WALLACE Unfortunately, the source of my shittiness is the fact that I’m shitty. I just am. It is not possi... ALLIE BROSH I’m the lady by day, and I’m Gaga by night. And I’m always going to be that way, because it’... LADY GAGA I’m just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else’s. I’m sick of everybody that wants ... J.D. SALINGER Just because I liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean I’ll always like it, or that I ... JAROD KINTZ Cole said, “You’re the only good thing I’ve ever done in my life.” I replied, “I’m sorry... MAGGIE STIEFVATER I’ve indulged all my escapist dreams. I’m here, away from everyone, living it up. Being a selfis... FENNEL HUDSON I always believed that If I’m not carrying at least a slight poetically painful crack in my heart ... ANNIE ALI I’m a wild girl from a cursed line of women. I paw at the ground and run under the moon. I like th... LIBBA BRAY I’m not mad. I already told you that. We all have mistakes in our past...and our future. It’s a ... SHANNON A. THOMPSON I wouldn’t know what to do with daughters,' he says. 'Exchange them for sons?' 'But the... KAUI HART HEMMINGS If I’m perplexed by the fact that I’m constantly lost, maybe somewhere in my head I’ve determi... CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH I talk about writing and write so much because aside from music, it’s the only thing giving me pea... PHIL VOLATILE One person. All it takes is one person. I couldn’t save Harry for Lily. So now I give my allegianc... JACK THORNE I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t ... STEPHANIE LENNOX I think this is the ugliest place I’ve ever seen. Not just here. The whole state.” I hear my par... JENNIFER NIVEN I’VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT KIND OF PERSON. HAVING BEEN A PART OF THE HARD CORE PUNK SC... ANJI BEE You know a trillion times more about art than me. But I’ve learned that it isn’t necessary to kn... TOM ROBBINS People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways - I’m... GEORGE F. BURNS I learned that I suffered from bipolar II disorder, a less serious variant of bipolar I, which was o... AYELET WALDMAN I had to be off by myself. I didn't want to be in that group because I knew they would go crazy. I w... CHARLIE DOTSON I’ve learned that home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling. CECELIA AHERN Jo Wood was sound, sound as a bell. Solid, cynical, amused and occasionally amusing, he did not appe... STEPHEN FRY It isn’t easy when life tears away the one person in a million you thought you could always trust. BENJAMIN R. SMITH Why can’t the world hear? I ask myself. Within a few moments I ask it many times. Because it doesn... MARKUS ZUSAK I see the glow before I see her. The orange light is so strong it’s hard to believe the house isn�... ERICA CAMERON I’ve been looking for a feeling like that everywhere I go. I’ve been waiting for someone to see ... ELIZABETH WURTZEL It’s all part of the dance, she thought; the dust, her hands, the light that was spiraling around ... CLIVE BARKER So say I’m your mom.' 'What?' I said. 'I’m your mom,' he repeated. 'Now tell me you wa... SARAH DESSEN I’m so thankful for every hardship, and every ending I’ve endured; if it wasn’t for adversity,... SCOTTIE SOMERS This is my home, Cape Breton is my home, and I don’t know if I really want to leave it as much as ... REBECCA MCNUTT 7am They said that I’d forget you, and I knew it wasn’t true. But sometimes... COCO J. GINGER I would laugh at all my provincial inmates, but I’m too busy lusting. I’m not usually interested... KRISTEN CHANDLER If I was crazy, would I know it? That's what being crazy was, wasn't it? You thought you were fine. ... KELLEY ARMSTRONG I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this... HARUKI MURAKAMI Just say “I’m sorry.” It’s not a tongue twister. It does not need repeating multiple times. ... RICHELLE E. GOODRICH I run because it’s my passion, and not just a sport. Every time I walk out the door, I know why I�... SASHA AZEVEDO Have you really read all those books in your room?” Alaska laughing- “Oh God no. I’... JOHN GREEN I think it’s important to have a good hard failure when you're young. I learned a lot out of that.... WALT DISNEY COMPANY I’ve got money!” Eve exclaimed in a frantic frenzy of hope, her eyes dancing wildly with the not... REBECCA MCNUTT It’s not that I don’t like cats. And really, I think I would enjoy having… a cat. But what if ... CORA CARMACK I fell for her in summer, my lovely summer girl, From summer she is made, my lovely summer girl... MAGGIE STIEFVATER I've never had any problem with crazy people. I like crazy people; I probably am a crazy person ... ERROL MORRIS He must think.. that I’m dumb and innocent. But I’ve shown who I really am.. many things happene... AI YAZAWA I’m glad you think so. I’ve always considered my sense of humor to be largely underappreciated, ... RACHEL VINCENT Yeah, that’s my experience. Humbling to the point where you have major regrets about some of the s... HENRY ROLLINS Are you sure that’s a real spell?’ said the girl. ‘Well, it’s not very good, is it? I’ve t... J.K. ROWLING I have a very addictive personality. If it isn’t women, it’s money. If it isn’t money, it’s ... CARLA H. KRUEGER When I was with him suddenly I wasn’t this broken person anymore. I was just me. I was w... RANATA SUZUKI When people would ask me what I’m addicted to, I always said ‘music.’ And while they’d laugh... BLAKE LEWIS Maybe I’m strange and perverse, but I’ve always thought there was something sexy about a compell... THERESE DOUCET You deserve better. I can’t promise you I’ll stay around, not because I don’t want to. It’s ... JENNIFER NIVEN
More Marya Hornbacher
Soon madness has worn you down. It’s easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes o... MARYA HORNBACHER When you are mad, mad like this, you don't know it. Reality is what you see. When what you see shift... MARYA HORNBACHER I have a type of bipolar that swings up and down all day long. There are significant mood swings wit... MARYA HORNBACHER There are women in my closet, hanging on the hangers. a different woman for each suit, each dress, e... MARYA HORNBACHER Anorexia and bulimia seem to be getting much more common in boys, men, and women of all ages and soc... MARYA HORNBACHER It's really interesting to me how all of us can experience the exact same event, and yet come aw... MARYA HORNBACHER I am often drawn to what appear at first to be 'dark' or 'difficult' subjects, but w... MARYA HORNBACHER He leaned down and whispered to me: No matter how thin you get, no matter how short you cut your hai... 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MARYA HORNBACHER Here's how you make absolutely sure that you'll keep getting crazier by the day: - Ignore... MARYA HORNBACHER comprehending little and caring less. MARYA HORNBACHER warned me that the tenuous balance that exists in my brain is easily set off kilter, but like everyt... MARYA HORNBACHER Here's the hell of it: madness doesn't announce itself. There isn't time to prepare for its coming. ... MARYA HORNBACHER We're like little kids. We are little kids, but don't tell us that—we're having a fantastic time. ... MARYA HORNBACHER There are other kinds of damage, to the people in your life, to your sense of who you are and what y... MARYA HORNBACHER I am in the zone, the perfect balance between manic and drunk, I am mellow, I’m cool, cool as cats... MARYA HORNBACHER As I head back up the stairs, I hear the dryer make a sound of great mechanical distress, nnnnnnn... MARYA HORNBACHER You know those afternoons," he asks, drawing a shaking breath, "where you’re just going along, doi... MARYA HORNBACHER The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows ... MARYA HORNBACHER In our absence, the violet early evening light pours in the bay window, filling the still room like ... MARYA HORNBACHER I’m sick. It’s true. It isn’t going to go away. All my life, I’ve thought that if I just wor... MARYA HORNBACHER ...Someone speaks in soft tones to me and says I am psychotic, but it's going to be all right. I put... MARYA HORNBACHER Uncle Joe used to spend a fair amount of time in the loony bin. My family wasn't bothered by his reg... MARYA HORNBACHER Falling in love happens so suddenly that it seems, all at once, that you have always been in love. MARYA HORNBACHER My brain sometimes departs from the agreed-upon reality, and my private reality is a very lonely pla... MARYA HORNBACHER At first it's bliss. 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MARYA HORNBACHER I have a remarkable ability to delete all better judgement from my brain when I get my head set on s... MARYA HORNBACHER That which stirs within, slows or quickens, goes deep or dies out. When I speak of spirit, I am not ... MARYA HORNBACHER At a certain point, an eating disorder ceases to be "about" any one thing. It stops being about your... MARYA HORNBACHER Hatred is so much closer to love than indifference. MARYA HORNBACHER This is the very boring part of eating disorders, the aftermath. When you eat and hate that you eat.... MARYA HORNBACHER Amy is just dynamic in the air and we will look for her to be a leader this year and build off the s... REBECCA HORNBACHER It is not enough to show people how to live better: there is a mandate for any group with eno... MARYA MANNES The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. MARYA MANNES In our society those who are in reality superior in intelligence can be accepted by their fellows on... MARYA MANNES Timing and arrogance are decisive factors in the successful use of talent. MARYA MANNES If American men are obsessed with money, American women are obsessed with weight. The men talk of ga... MARYA MANNES Money is not an aphrodisiac: the desire it may kindle in the female eye is more for the cash than th... MARYA MANNES The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control their emotions by the application of r... MARYA MANNES All really great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. MARYA MANNES All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction MARYA MANNES The earth we abuse and the living things we kill will, in the end, take their revenge; for in exploi... MARYA MANNES The curse of the romantic is a greed for dreams, an intensity of expectation that, in the end, dimin... MARYA MANNES It has been said that we need just three things in life: Something to do, Something to look forward ... MARYA MANNES Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she mana... MARYA MANNES Generosity with strings is not generosity; It is a deal. MARYA MANNES The great omission in American life is solitude. . . that zone of time and space, free from the outs... MARYA MANNES Lie down and listen to the crabgrass grow The faucet leak, and learn to leave them so. MARYA MANNES Lie down and listen to the crabgrass grow The faucet leak, and learn to leave them so MARYA MANNES The earth we abuse and the living things we kill will, in the end, take their revenge; for in explo... MARYA MANNES Control your emotion or it will control you MARYA MANNES It is not enough to show people how to live better: there is a mandate for any group with enormous p... MARYA MANNES The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control their emotions by the application of r... MARYA MANNES Borders are scratched across the hearts of men, by strangers with a calm, judicial pen, and when the... MARYA MANNES Who's kidding whom? What's the difference between Giant and Jumbo? Quart and full quart? Two-ounce a... MARYA MANNES The earth we abuse and the living things we kill will, in the end, take their revenge; for in exploi... MARYA MANNES The curse of the romantic is a greed for dreams, an intensity of expectation that, in the end, dimin... MARYA MANNES It is not enough to show people how to live better: there is a mandate for any group with enormous p... MARYA MANNES Money is not an aphrodisiac: the desire it may kindle in the female eye is more for the cash than th... MARYA MANNES It's never what you say, but how you make it sound sincere. MARYA MANNES By the age of fifty, you have made yourself what you are, and if it is good, it is better than your ... MARYA MANNES Borders are scratched across the hearts of men, by strangers with a calm, judicial pen, and when the... MARYA MANNES For every five well-adjusted and smoothly functioning Americans, there are two who never had the cha... MARYA MANNES The faucet leak, and learn to leave them so. MARYA MANNES It's never what you say, but how you make it sound sincere. MARYA MANNES