...and - holy shit was this song bad. It was like the singer was stabbing my ear with a dagger made of dried turds.

Single guys get a bad rap.

Fred said, “Man, I think he’s gonna make a fuckin’ suit of human skin, using the best parts from each of us.”
“Holy crap,” said John. “He’ll be gorgeous.

Analogies are like lies.

Oh shit did you just dis the feminine gender
I'll pummel your ass then stick you in a blender
You think I like Tori and Ani so I can't rhyme
But I got flow like Ghostbusters got slime
Objectify women and it's fuckin' on
You'll be dead and gone like ancient Babylon.

No, I can't do rap music!