FastSaying
An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.
Winston S. Churchill
classic-insult
humor
humour
retort
Related Quotes
I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response
— Winston S. Churchill
classic-insult
retort
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.
— Winston S. Churchill
apocryphal
attributed-no-source
classic-insult
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
[On British Labour politician Stafford Cripps.]
— Winston S. Churchill
admiration
classic-insult
vice
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'
That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.
— Benjamin Disraeli
classic-insult
retort
turnabout
CASSIO: Dost thou hear, my honest friend?
CLOWN: No, I hear not your honest friend, I hear you.
CASSIO: Prithee, keep up thy quillets.
— William Shakespeare
classic-insult
classic-insult-humor
comedy