FastSaying

America is about to turn the page on Barack Obama's four-year experiment in big government.


Mitch McConnell

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Mitch McConnell. Wasn't he the bandleader on Johnny Carson?
MITCH MCCONNELL President Barack Obama is a doer. And we in America will do big things with him.
JIM HUNT Barack Obama likes to point to General Motors as the poster child for the job creation success of hi...
BOB BEAUPREZ We don't want Arizona to be dependent on the whims of Barack Obama and the federal government.
DOUG DUCEY It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean ...
STEPHEN COLBERT Only in America can a Barack Obama happen. Only in America can a Don King happen.
DON KING Barack Obama's class warfare will not work on this Republican nominee. Not in Utah.
MIA LOVE Barack Obama was not born into wealth or privilege, yet today his is president of these United State...
KEN SALAZAR Obama believes in a big central government, where the federal government controls everything in our ...
PAUL BROUN President Obama is perhaps the most ideologically-motivated president in American history. But accor...
BEN SHAPIRO Barack Obama did tell me that I was one of Michelle Obama's favorite actors.
DWAYNE JOHNSON Barack Obama is betting on the American worker.
TED STRICKLAND I was never a fan of Barack Obama's bipartisanship routine.
THOMAS FRANK Barack Obama has talked a lot about changing the way America relates to the world, and few areas are...
IQBAL QUADIR It comes down to the simple idea that government has grown substantially under Barack Obama, and gov...
SEAN DUFFY Take a stand against intolerance and for our American values. Say it with pride: I support democracy...
RICHARD TRUMKA Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's T...
FRANKIE BOYLE Though the euphoria surrounding Barack Obama's election last week as President-elect has not yet...
SHASHI THAROOR King would certainly be overjoyed by Barack Obama's inauguration, but we must avoid, and indeed ...
DAVID GARROW Let's go tell everyone we meet that, when the American dream is at stake, you want Barack Obama ...
DEVAL PATRICK Barack Obama is the worst President in history.
BEN QUAYLE I was starstruck by Michelle Obama. She's an amazing-looking lady, and I'm a massive Barack ...
NIALL HORAN With respect to Barack Obama, let's face it; Barack Obama is an iconic figure in the African-Ame...
ARTUR DAVIS Is it a coincidence that in 1998, Barack Obama talks about a majority coalition of welfare recipient...
RUSH LIMBAUGH During the Obama years, the Republicans have done an unprecedented amount of stonewalling on cabinet...
GAIL COLLINS Students of America, working families of America: President Obama will not turn his back on you.
LINCOLN CHAFEE The Democrats cannot find Romney fingerprints on what's happening to this country. Every fingerp...
RUSH LIMBAUGH Barack Obama is not Harry Truman, who dropped the A-bomb on Japan to stop World War II. Barack Obama...
MONICA CROWLEY The person who takes the oath of office in the next four months will shape not just the next four ye...
RAHM EMANUEL Christ would not vote for Barack Obama, because Barack Obama has voted to behave in a way that it is...
ALAN KEYES Being the keynote speaker at the convention this year is an honor I don't take lightly. I know I...
JULIAN CASTRO Today I am announcing my support for Senator Barack Obama for President of the United States of Amer...
JOE ANDREW Electing Barack Obama president was a glorious Jackie Robinson moment for the United States of Ameri...
TIMOTHY NOAH Mattis has been sharply critical of President Barack Obama's policies on Iran and Obama's ca...
PETER L. BERGEN There is something uniquely depressing about the fact that the National Portrait Gallery's versi...
THOMAS FRANK Turn to page three hundred and ninety-four.
J.K. ROWLING A lot of people who voted for Barack Obama expected and were led to expect something new in politics...
BERNARD GOLDBERG Barack Obama seems intent on enrolling more people on food stamps. Mitt Romney's focus is going ...
MIKE HUCKABEE I think, with Obama and the progressives, you've seen a massive expansion of big government, and...
DINESH D'SOUZA Barack Obama is an economic patriot.
TED STRICKLAND Open government is, within limits, an ideal that we all share. U.S. President Barack Obama endorsed ...
PETER SINGER So my one kid's 4, my other kid's 4 months, I'm 44, Barack Obama is the 44th president -...
EDDIE VEDDER If Barack Obama is elected, I'll be moving out of the country.
STEPHEN BALDWIN Hillary Clinton became secretary of state under Barack Obama. It's hard to convey just how stunn...
GREG GRANDIN Barack Obama's administration responded to the Haitian crisis within 24 hours. Here comes the so...
HENRY ROLLINS I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obam...
JIMMY CARTER I turn to the 'Telegraph's' obituaries page with trepidation.
CHRISTOPHER LEE Michelle Obama was asked when life begins. According to her it's when she and Barack take over t...
EVAN SAYET The making of the Barack Obama franchise far exceeded the skill set of Washington's best. In fac...
ANDREW BREITBART From education to broadband, from building roads and bridges to supporting the military, Barack Obam...
BEV PERDUE Barack Obama's inspirational whoosh to the presidency in 2008 was unusual. Most campaigns are le...
JOE KLEIN Mr. Obama is proud of his belief that government knows best. When he told the world that individuals...
BILL O'REILLY Obama's Justice Department has also targeted Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Sheriff Joe bil...
RUSSELL PEARCE Among the many international consequences of Barack Obama's stunning victory in the United State...
SHASHI THAROOR Though there are many differences between Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter, they are strikingly similar...
DAVID LIMBAUGH Obama's defiantly vowed not only to radically expand the reach of government from cradle to grav...
STEVE STOCKMAN This is not a time for America to 'believe in magic.' This is a time to drive education forw...
JIM HUNT Pinochet and Barack Obama both have the same primary goal, and that's to be president and stay p...
VIGGO MORTENSEN I voted for Barack Obama.
LADAINIAN TOMLINSON Barack Obama is probably the most exciting candidate that either the Democratic or Republican party ...
JOE BIDEN I want Obama to have to weigh in on Ben Affleck as Batman. It's about time Obama went to work.
RUSH LIMBAUGH If I turn on the television, am I to believe that that is America? I'm sorry, I don't believ...
KAREN BLACK There's something about Barack Obama that induces Americans to imagine what they cannot see. The...
DAVID K. SHIPLER Barack Obama and I have an honest disagreement on the issue of abortion.
BOB CASEY, JR. I like Barack Obama as a person. He's articulate, he knows sports, his brother-in-law's a co...
PETE ROSE Sergio Leone's 'Once Upon a Time in America' is a brilliant movie. It's about four h...
ERIK ESTRADA Newt Gingrich would cream Barack Obama in a debate.
MONICA CROWLEY '2016' is based on an experiment: what if you let Obama do it himself? That experiment is ne...
DINESH D'SOUZA President Obama's biggest advocates believe that Americans are ready to embrace his vision for t...
BEN SHAPIRO Calling Michelle 'Obama Barack's baby mama?' Tell me, is that acceptable? But the Obamas...
NAS Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are two peas in the same pod, and the American people have tasted t...
MITT ROMNEY When people read 'Breitbart' every single day and convince themselves that Barack Obama is a...
J. D. VANCE Only Barack Obama consistently opposed NAFTA.
AUSTAN GOOLSBEE You have to be an extremist to believe that you're gonna be the president of the United States a...
MOS DEF For me, Barack Obama's election was a milestone of the most extraordinary kind. On the day he wa...
JESSE JACKSON Barack Obama, he just sits out. He sits back; he criticizes everybody. He's got his professorial...
STEVE SCALISE In general, everybody should admit the world is changing really fast, and it's hard for the conv...
BILL HASLAM The question now is does Obama have any hope of raising money? I don't think he'll raise it ...
JUAN WILLIAMS And those of us who have business opportunities and the capital to do it are going to sit in fear of...
STEVE WYNN America, this is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page of the policies of the past...
BARACK OBAMA In 2008, Senator John McCain forbid his staff from using an ad that referred to his opponent Barack ...
JOHN DICKERSON The Obama presidency, and liberalism in general, are based on not trusting the American people - a b...
BOBBY JINDAL Everybody in America has been dependent on the government at some time. We owe everybody in America ...
ANDREW YOUNG It seems the best approach for any venture is a combo platter - Japan's quality-consciousness pa...
DANIEL H. PINK This November, with the re-election of President Barack Obama, this generation of Americans will eve...
CORY BOOKER Mr. Obama's approach to engagement to some degree makes him dependent on people who wish neither...
WALTER RUSSELL MEAD Think about one of the most powerful influences on a young child's life - the absence of a fathe...
JEFF GREENFIELD It's not about Obama, it's about the Democrats and their policies that cause consternation o...
ELIZABETH A. SHERMAN When you have somebody like a Donald Trump - he made no bones about trying to disprove Barack Obama&...
LARRY WILMORE I would say that Barack Obama has always been a real optimist about what can be accomplished. He bel...
JODI KANTOR I'm a big fan of Barack Obama. I think he carries a heavier burden and is held to a greater and ...
CHRIS CARTER Mitch Daniels in Indiana was the best governor in America for eight years. I've gone to Indianap...
BRUCE RAUNER Memo to Congress: America's problem is not that government is too small. It's the spending, ...
BOB BEAUPREZ Reagan was all about America, and you talked about it. Obama is, 'We are above that now. We'...
CHRIS MATTHEWS People are familiar with 'the stick' of the Tea Party... challenging incumbents, flooding th...
NIGER INNIS One of the many, many salutary aspects of Barack Obama's impending presidential nomination is th...
ERIC ALTERMAN If Obama has his way, the change that is coming is a new America: 'fair,' leveled and social...
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER I'm running for Congress to reverse Obama's big government policies, to be faithful to the p...
RON DESANTIS Barack Obama's large contributor was Goldman Sachs - same thing on the Republican side. If you g...
JESSE VENTURA An orthodox belief in big government's inefficiency cannot coexist with an orthodox belief in pr...
TIMOTHY NOAH

More Mitch McConnell

I think we need to respect the wishes of voters. They have been busily at work making these decision...
MITCH MCCONNELL We did the two-year extension of Bush tax cuts in 2010. We negotiated the Budget Control Act in Augu...
MITCH MCCONNELL The border is way more porous than it should be, and I think we'd be open to discussing anything...
MITCH MCCONNELL We're living under the Obama economy. Any CEO in America with a record like this after three yea...
MITCH MCCONNELL Today, Democrats not only have the White House; they have the Senate too. So we have to be realistic...
MITCH MCCONNELL It just doesn't occur to an American that someone else will solve their problems. Americans take...
MITCH MCCONNELL Things happen in American politics in the political center. If the President will meet us in the cen...
MITCH MCCONNELL I always think a debt ceiling is a good tool to carry something.
MITCH MCCONNELL And this year, when we end the cruel, defeatist practice of passing children who cannot read into fo...
MITCH MCCONNELL The Senate is allowed to work the way it was designed to - meaning a place where nothing is decided ...
MITCH MCCONNELL After adding trillions to the debt on big-government policies most Americans didn't ask for and ...
MITCH MCCONNELL In the last 100 years, three presidents suffered big defeats in Congress in their first term and the...
MITCH MCCONNELL Almost without exception, President Obama begins serious policy discussions by explaining why everyo...
MITCH MCCONNELL President Obama had two Supreme Court nominees in his first term. There was no filibuster against th...
MITCH MCCONNELL We hear the stories every day now: the father who puts on a suit every morning and leaves the house ...
MITCH MCCONNELL A reporter asked recently, 'What keeps you up at night?' I replied that I generally sleep we...
MITCH MCCONNELL We all got here from somewhere else going back in our lineage. And I think these gratuitous attacks ...
MITCH MCCONNELL I think that winning the White House is about more than just entertaining a large audience.
MITCH MCCONNELL What will happen is the bills will start out the way we like them; in order to move them - we'll...
MITCH MCCONNELL The implication here is that those who came to America legally over the years are somehow second-cla...
MITCH MCCONNELL I don't think there should be a litmus test on judges, no matter who the president is.
MITCH MCCONNELL Nurses told my mother that I was going to be OK. They thought I could walk without a limp and withou...
MITCH MCCONNELL I think I'd like to be an owner of a Major League Baseball team.
MITCH MCCONNELL We're not gonna misread our mandate.
MITCH MCCONNELL I ran for president of the student council at my high school in Louisville. And ran against a guy wh...
MITCH MCCONNELL Mitch McConnell. Wasn't he the bandleader on Johnny Carson?
MITCH MCCONNELL are much worse than what Sen. Lott said.
MITCH MCCONNELL Elections are breaking out in the strangest places: Afghanistan, Iraq, the Palestinian territories, ...
MITCH MCCONNELL I have been one of the Republicans who has been somewhat skeptical about needing witnesses but I mus...
MITCH MCCONNELL I hope the president may have concluded that his comments about the legitimacy of the new president ...
MITCH MCCONNELL [Proponents -- mostly Democrats -- are threatening to tie up the Senate unless Lott schedules procee...
MITCH MCCONNELL [But what about the continuing great economic news under Clinton? Lott offered kudos:] I agree that ...
MITCH MCCONNELL Take our word for it. They're disgusting.
MITCH MCCONNELL We need to say to everyone on Election Day, 'Those of you who helped make this a good day, you n...
MITCH MCCONNELL While other state governments stiff their vendors, close parks, delay tax refunds, and ignore unacce...
MITCH MCCONNELL We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, thi...
MITCH MCCONNELL Sen. Lott was elected to a two-year term, and he's said he's not going to resign, and in my view he ...
MITCH MCCONNELL That's ... a little bit like Bonnie and Clyde declaring the problem could be solved by banking regul...
MITCH MCCONNELL I must say in response to this there was stunned silence, so this is clearly not administration poli...
MITCH MCCONNELL I mean, we're going to have to pry his hands off the door and search him to get the key back to the ...
MITCH MCCONNELL The fact is, if our primary legislative goals are to repeal and replace the health spending bill; to...
MITCH MCCONNELL Our nation has a regrettable history of drawing down our forces and readiness after each conflict, o...
MITCH MCCONNELL Syria and Iran have always had a pretty tight relationship, and it looks to me like they just cooked...
MITCH MCCONNELL By their own admission, leaders of the Republican Revolution of 1994 think their greatest mistake wa...
MITCH MCCONNELL We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, this system...
MITCH MCCONNELL Diplomacy is important, extremely important, and I don't think these reductions at the State Dep...
MITCH MCCONNELL NATO is the most important military alliance in world history.
MITCH MCCONNELL I'm not going to critique every utterance of the president.
MITCH MCCONNELL More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Security benef...
MITCH MCCONNELL Americans don't think we should be raising taxes on anybody, especially in the middle of a reces...
MITCH MCCONNELL Are we still a country that takes risks, that innovates, that believes anything is possible? Or are ...
MITCH MCCONNELL I thought the Pence selection ought to reassure the right-of-center voters that a Trump administrati...
MITCH MCCONNELL I want to reassure our NATO allies that if any of them get attacked, we'll be there to defend th...
MITCH MCCONNELL as was the courtesy during the Clinton years.
MITCH MCCONNELL Americans are too speedy.
MITCH MCCONNELL More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Securi...
MITCH MCCONNELL It is a president's constitutional right to nominate a Supreme Court justice, and it is the Sena...
MITCH MCCONNELL We all know that Social Security is one of this country's greatest success stories in the 20th c...
MITCH MCCONNELL Do we need to tighten restrictions on people coming into the country? I think there's a good arg...
MITCH MCCONNELL We're a country of five-second sound bites and 30-second commercials. Eight years of one person ...
MITCH MCCONNELL If they'd like to run against President Bush, ... I question whether they are smart enough to take o...
MITCH MCCONNELL the best plan is changeable
MITCH That he said he would make her five-month-old baby disappear if she didn't (sell the home to us), wh...
AMY MCCONNELL She said that the state of Michigan would pay for all of our closing costs and five percent down.
AMY MCCONNELL She was looking over our information and noticed we paid $700 a month in rent and that we qualified ...
AMY MCCONNELL We got our hopes, just smashed.
AMY MCCONNELL It's a momentous day for the sport and Winnipeg as well. It's history in the making and to have it c...
BRIAN MCCONNELL It?s a little up in the air right now, ... That?s how hockey is though. I can be asked to pack up ag...
BRIAN MCCONNELL I?m not really that flashy of a player, ... But I push hard and play defense.
BRIAN MCCONNELL I think our customer base likes to support local products. It is a good product, my family uses it.
BRIAN MCCONNELL He's one of the most laidback kids I know. I can't even imagine what it's been like for him. He's ob...
BRIAN MCCONNELL You start making excuses for yourself that you're getting screwed on calls and things like that. It ...
BRIAN MCCONNELL Belmont's has always been an environmentally-friendly business. This is a chance for a state-wide re...
BRIAN MCCONNELL Over the life cycle of that airplane, we're absolutely confident we're going to get 50% or more.
CLAY MCCONNELL Every piece has its own identity which we develop by the rule 'We know no limits.' We follow...
PAGE MCCONNELL Late in the game, when the game is on the line, she plays with a sense of urgency and has the abilit...
SUZIE MCCONNELL Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell

leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. tra...
MARTY MCCONNELL My dad also plays a little banjo and guitar, my mom plays the mandolin.
PAGE MCCONNELL Once you opt in, you don't have a lot of control over where your information goes.
BETH MCCONNELL We don't think any taxpayer should be in the situation where they could sign away their rights to pr...
BETH MCCONNELL The government tells us that we must turn over very private, personal financial information to them ...
BETH MCCONNELL This is the sixth derivative of the 747. It's a plane that can be offered out there at a relatively ...
CLAY MCCONNELL His name is vaguely familiar. Basically, I agree with everything the New Labour candidate said about...
JACK MCCONNELL One of the biggest problems I see are dogs who don't have a lot of emotional control and frustration...
PATRICIA MCCONNELL Domestic dogs follow humans like a laser and watch the behavior of their humans with a focus that is...
PATRICIA MCCONNELL The Pirates of the Caribbean.
THOMAS MCCONNELL He was really likable, always smiling, a very outgoing guy.
DICK MCCONNELL Sir Tom is one of today's greatest Scots.
JACK MCCONNELL He has just been wonderful to have on board. He just does a fantastic job.
BILL MCCONNELL This bill will lead to enormous improvements in our air quality. Massachusetts will get cleaner cars...
BROOKE MCCONNELL This is a marathon, not a sprint.
CLAY MCCONNELL I like them both. I've never had any bad barbecue. I love barbecue.
BOB MCCONNELL This issue, combined with the lack of public input and the problems with informing the public clearl...
BOB MCCONNELL We just needed a certain singing range and a certain vocal style (for the role).
BILL MCCONNELL They've put scripture from Genesis in each animal on different spots. What they call it is 'God on t...
BILL MCCONNELL It is a story about faith, about hope and about animals that talk and how they can change a man's li...
BILL MCCONNELL [The] single most common source of changing requirements [is] requirements that were not significant...
STEVE MCCONNELL We had to pick our poison: Do we cover the perimeter or inside? They shot the ball extremely well an...
TIM MCCONNELL We're really thrilled and honored to have them there, and I think it's an example that we're on the ...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL The fact that the board can't demonstrate how and why these figures changed is disappointing.
BOB MCCONNELL There was some very generous pricing done on the 777s. The A340 models that we continue to produce a...
CLAY MCCONNELL He is so outgoing and positive. He's been a very important part of this. His personality is a great ...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL You can't force something like that. But we have encouraged our audience, because we avoid the c...
PAGE MCCONNELL We're really glad to see the Russians reach out and work with the international community and get he...
BRUCE MCCONNELL We don't think we're out of the woods yet. We may get some ... business inconveniences, headaches, h...
BRUCE MCCONNELL We think this can be a very strong part of the new tourism effort. We have the names of Ralph Stanle...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL Each of our 900 shows so far was different - maybe that's what makes the fans come back to our g...
PAGE MCCONNELL That's why it's better to do it on other people's property.
DONALD MCCONNELL There are parks for little children. Why can't teenagers and young adults have a place to go spray-p...
DONALD MCCONNELL I'm really sorry. I've already apologized to the business owners and stuff. It was stupid and childi...
DONALD MCCONNELL We didn't play as good as we could to win. We should have zoned them from the start. We didn't get i...
DICK MCCONNELL We gave away five points right before the half. We knew we couldn't make mistakes like that.
DICK MCCONNELL We played really well in overtime.
DICK MCCONNELL We played McClintock over the summer and they are very quick and athletic. They're not very big, but...
DICK MCCONNELL We played them really well the second time. The first time we played them, they had a shot to win it...
DICK MCCONNELL Malcolm was tough at the end, and Adam played well, but we didn't play super. At least we won. I'm h...
DICK MCCONNELL I thought we played pretty good. Everyone got in and saw some more time on the court.
DICK MCCONNELL When we lost Adam last year, it really took the wind out of our sails for a while. I don't want to l...
DICK MCCONNELL Adam gives us a guard who can rebound and is a real tough player. He's a big guard for us and gives ...
DICK MCCONNELL The old section looks nothing like it used to.
ELAINE MCCONNELL This is truly a place where there is something for everyone.
ELAINE MCCONNELL Heuristic is an algorithm in a clown suit. It’s less predictable, it’s more fun, and it comes wi...
STEVE MCCONNELL You can't say this plane stops at X number of feet. It depends on a lot of factors.
CLAY MCCONNELL There are three gaming centers in Fort Collins, Greeley had none. I thought Greeley was a good place...
FRANK MCCONNELL We're open, we're ready for business.
FRANK MCCONNELL My biggest goal is to have it be safe and fun. I want people to feel like they can hang out.
FRANK MCCONNELL All the guys are starting to hit their stride and I think that was pretty evident in last week's gam...
GREG MCCONNELL The USM game was frustrating in that we just couldn't score.
GREG MCCONNELL We still have two big regular season games this weekend that we cannot look past before we go into t...
GREG MCCONNELL It's very clear, under anyone's scenario, that it's a massive, extensive undertaking regardless of w...
JACK MCCONNELL The dairy farmers deserve better from the supermarkets.
JACK MCCONNELL If you help make a mess, you have to help clean it up.
JACK MCCONNELL It was very exciting when we went into the theater world to hear such good things about our Amanda.
JACK MCCONNELL It is appropriate that, rather than getting involved in silly Nationalist arguments, we are effectiv...
JACK MCCONNELL For these two individuals, one of whom knows how to make Governments change but the other knows how ...
JACK MCCONNELL Do you know how to change the cylinder head gasket on a Mk II Ford Cortina?
JACK MCCONNELL I don't trust him. He has wandering eyes!
JACK MCCONNELL leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks<...
MARTY MCCONNELL Mirror, mirror on the wall," She caught Beu's gaze in the reflection. "Who's the handsomest man of a...
LUCY MCCONNELL It's hard training with two events in mind. I'll be glad to make the decision. It was still a bit ra...
LEE MCCONNELL I knew I could build on Sunday's race,
LEE MCCONNELL People are taking this storm quite seriously.
LEE MCCONNELL We're very pleased with our performance, but the Poles have protested,
LEE MCCONNELL But the heat was loaded - the Olympic champion, world champion and European champion were all in it....
LEE MCCONNELL You keep reminding yourself how lucky you are to have this facility.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL This is always a joy. It's a hard time of year, but it's always our favorite time of year.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL It gives the students an opportunity to work with teachers in an entirely different way.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL We have a pretty good lineup. Once we started hitting and scored a lot of runs, I think that helped ...
MICKEY MCCONNELL There's a fine line between liberty and protection. And the more protection you try to give people, ...
RON MCCONNELL He's well-rounded. He's not only a good basketball player, but he's a great kid as well.
TIM MCCONNELL We need a type of patriotism that recognizes the virtues of those who are opposed to us. We must get...
FRANCIS JOHN MCCONNELL We humans may be brilliant and we may be special, but we are still connected to the rest of life. No...
PATRICIA B. MCCONNELL For us, it's like you just built a new house, and you're leaving a house that never quite fit. And w...
PRINCIPAL MARY MCCONNELL I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
MITCH HEDBERG Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
MITCH HEDBERG I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
MITCH HEDBERG I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
MITCH HEDBERG I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was proli...
MITCH HEDBERG If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
MITCH HEDBERG I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
MITCH HEDBERG I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
MITCH HEDBERG People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has...
MITCH HEDBERG This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
MITCH HEDBERG When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
MITCH HEDBERG All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
MITCH HEDBERG I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that b...
MITCH HEDBERG The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a w...
MITCH HEDBERG Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Rob...
MITCH HEDBERG Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
MITCH HEDBERG A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
MITCH HEDBERG My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, s...
MITCH HEDBERG People in the industry foresee a time in which, for many people, the only thing they'll need on ...
MITCH KAPOR When business leaders ask me what they can do for Indiana, I always reply: 'Make money. Go make ...
MITCH DANIELS I give Bill Gates an A for vision because, as a business person and a strategist, he's brilliant...
MITCH KAPOR I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're g...
MITCH HEDBERG I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
MITCH HEDBERG My funeral," the Blue Man said. "Look at the mourners. Some did not even know me well, yet they came...
MITCH ALBOM People come down for baseball or football or hockey and drive by the refurbished Fox and State theat...
MITCH ALBOM If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's goi...
MITCH ALBOM My jaw dropped, ... I felt shame that I had to find out over the television, then felt sorrow and a ...
MITCH ALBOM Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value, right? ... He could be research. A huma...
MITCH ALBOM You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean.
MITCH ALBOM A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions ...
MITCH RATCLIFFE Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a we...
MITCH ALBOM You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense o...
MITCH ALBOM Now you know how badly someone wanted you, Charley. Children forget that sometimes. They think of th...
MITCH ALBOM Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.
MITCH ALBOM You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, y...
MITCH ALBOM But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of goin...
MITCH ALBOM I drive a beat-up Mercury Cougar, with the windows down and the music up. I seek my identity in toug...
MITCH ALBOM So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy do...
MITCH ALBOM All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prin...
MITCH ALBOM But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Som...
MITCH ALBOM Death ends a life, not a relationship.
MITCH ALBOM Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring t...
MITCH ALBOM The reason kids like rock 'n roll is their parents don't.
MITCH MILLER A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possibl...
MITCH RATLIFFE Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that
MITCH ALBOM Time is not what you think. Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on ea...
MITCH ALBOM People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our econ...
MITCH ALBOM