“All I'm saying is I've never seen my ex and satan in the same room.”


Unknown

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All round the room my silent servants wait, My friends in every season, bright and dim.
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Vote early and vote often.
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A stick and a string with a fly at one end and a fool at the other.
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In dog years, I'm dead.
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I am not addicted to nicotine. Why must I participate in your drug addiction?
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I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.
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No one loves the man whom he fears.
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I had a quintuple bypass in May. It was not Mad Cows but sane cows in my arteries.
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My only regret in the theatre is that I could never sit out front and watch me.
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Each man is the smith of his own fortune.
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Half this game is ninety percent mental.
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If you are going through hell, keep going.
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There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew.
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The church says that the Earth is flat, but I have seen the shadow on the moon and I have more fait...
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Your current safe boundries were once unknown frontiers. -Unknown.
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Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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Watch your thoughts, they become words.
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
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Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
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Man is troubled not by events, but by the meaning he gives them.
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There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
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Never lose hope.
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Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.
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Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.
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Fools rush in where fools have been before.
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Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
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Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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Less is more, unless you're Al Gore.
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In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
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Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.
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True change takes place in the imagination.
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Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence.
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He was a wise man who invented beer.
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There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.
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A Mercury is not made out of any block of wood. [Lat., Ex quovis ligno non fit Mercurius.]
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After a certain high level of technical skill is achieved, science and art tend to coalesce in esth...
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Large skepticism leads to large understanding. Small skepticism leads to small understanding. No ...
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I would not vote for the mayor. It's not just because he didn't invite me to dinner, but because on...
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One man shall have one vote.
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We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many differen...
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No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.
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I assert that the cosmic religious experience is the strongest and the noblest driving force behind...
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Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
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Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
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If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes. If you don't wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.
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An expert gossiper knows how much to leave out of a conversation
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When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.
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In absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia.
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Time is a circus--always packing up and moving away.
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A guy ran a red light like at 2AM, got home fine, no police saw him or anything like that. About 3 w...
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Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.
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What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
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The wages of sin are unreported.
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People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than m...
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My Karma ran over your dogma.
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It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
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He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch.
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He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
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A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
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Immortality lies not in the things you leave behind, but in the people your life has touched.
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If you make the world a little better, then you have accomplished a great deal.
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We are drowning in information and starved for knowledge.
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Love is my Sword,
Goodness my Armor,
And Humor my Shield.
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The words you speak today should be soft and tender. . . for tomorrow you may have to eat them.
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A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.
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Success always occurs in private and failure in full public view.
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That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly.
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