Ah, man, if I could ever hook up with Tom Waits, I'd be the happiest camper in Yellowstone, alright? That's the one guy.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

I'm an all-or-nothing guy. When I'm working, I work, work, work, work, work, and when I'm not, I'm the laziest sloth this planet has ever provided us.

All I really want to do is someday be in a western. If I could be on a horse with a rifle, I would be a really happy camper.

If I could sing, I wouldn't be a guitarist.

I don't know if I could date a single dad. It would depend on the guy.