After 15 years of marriage, nothing says "Thanks for all the blowjobs" like a pair of mittens for Christmas.

If I can find something with a pulse willing to share my bed, why would I narrow the field of options by discriminating on the basis of gender, species or degree of relative consciousness? So, the answer to your question is, "yes", I let my dog on the bed.

Remind me again, Which Circle of Hell did Dante reserve for Editors...and now that I'm living here, would you mind forwarding my mail?

Would you rather be a real estate agent or a crackwhore? Me too, crack whore all the way...

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.