First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, y...
GEORGE BURNS Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE BURNS Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding wo...
GEORGE BURNS I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could ...
GEORGE BURNS I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and ...
GEORGE BURNS I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at somethin...
GEORGE BURNS I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on ...
GEORGE BURNS It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirte...
GEORGE BURNS No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible
GEORGE BURNS Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting h...
GEORGE BURNS Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
GEORGE BURNS Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS Life's but a day at most.
GEORGE BURNS Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
GEORGE BURNS I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better...
GEORGE BURNS It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS How can I die? I'm booked.
GEORGE BURNS If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
GEORGE BURNS You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while yo...
GEORGE BURNS Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
GEORGE BURNS Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting ha...
GEORGE BURNS I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
GEORGE BURNS I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
GEORGE BURNS Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of wo...
GEORGE BURNS If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding wo...
GEORGE BURNS The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as cl...
GEORGE BURNS At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE BURNS I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
GEORGE BURNS I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can'...
GEORGE BURNS I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. When I ...
GEORGE BURNS You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do w...
GEORGE BURNS Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
GEORGE BURNS It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or ...
GEORGE BURNS I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
GEORGE BURNS I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
GEORGE BURNS Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered ecce...
GEORGE BURNS If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I...
GEORGE BURNS You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE BURNS Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can c...
GEORGE BURNS I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoyed than be a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm...
GEORGE BURNS Do you know what it means to come home at night to a man who'll give you a little love, a little aff...
GEORGE BURNS Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
GEORGE BURNS Fortunately,
GEORGE BURNS I like women to be attracted to me. See, when you get 60 years old, and they know you're 60, the onl...
GEORGE BURNS I think I look about 40 to 45, so I like it.
GEORGE BURNS I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for fiv...
GEORGE BURNS If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a h...
GEORGE BURNS The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as cl...
GEORGE BURNS Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
GEORGE BURNS Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
GEORGE F. BURNS I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty
GEORGE F. BURNS Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE F. BURNS If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding wo...
GEORGE F. BURNS The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as cl...
GEORGE F. BURNS Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE F. BURNS If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE F. BURNS I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE F. BURNS I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm ...
GEORGE F. BURNS People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a patern...
GEORGE F. BURNS When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE F. BURNS If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
GEORGE F. BURNS Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE F. BURNS Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE F. BURNS It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or ...
GEORGE F. BURNS You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
GEORGE F. BURNS Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope
GEORGE F. BURNS Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on ...
GEORGE F. BURNS I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE F. BURNS I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at somethin...
GEORGE F. BURNS At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE F. BURNS I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate
GEORGE F. BURNS Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE F. BURNS The reason we're doing this now is because I'm booked to play Pasadena the week of my 100th birthday
GEORGE F. BURNS This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
GEORGE F. BURNS I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE F. BURNS I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE F. BURNS It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex ...
GEORGE F. BURNS People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways - I’m...
GEORGE F. BURNS I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE F. BURNS Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair
GEORGE F. BURNS The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE F. BURNS Life's but a day at most.
GEORGE F. BURNS Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
GEORGE F. BURNS I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE F. BURNS Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
GEORGE F. BURNS I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
GEORGE F. BURNS You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do w...
GEORGE F. BURNS My mother was pragmatic, focused and extremely, exceedingly practical, and she was the ultimate self...
URSULA BURNS I went to an all-girls Catholic high school. The three things that they focused on were reading, wri...
URSULA BURNS Kids are pretty resilient. You don't have to be at every volleyball game. We can't guilt our...
URSULA BURNS Xerox is really good at managing documents, and we're definitely good at managing through a proc...
URSULA BURNS Xerox manages the infrastructure of E-ZPass for a large number of states. So when you say E-ZPass, a...
URSULA BURNS Admiration takes on a whole new level when you appreciate just how complex it is to run a modern bus...
URSULA BURNS CEOs resign when the internal dynamics of the company and the external dynamics of the company actua...
URSULA BURNS Fresh out of college, you tend to join a company because it's a job. But, you tend to stay becau...
URSULA BURNS If you go to Norway, Finland, Russia or Australia, you'll see Xerox or Fuji-Xerox people, not ju...
URSULA BURNS Unlike people, companies outlive their founders and their leaders.
URSULA BURNS I don't want to overemphasize this, but not a day goes by when I don't think about my mother...
URSULA BURNS Race and gender definitely came up, occasionally, in my life at work. But the bigger challenge that ...
URSULA BURNS My perspective comes in part from being a New York black lady, in part from being an engineer. I kno...
URSULA BURNS I'm a black lady from the Lower East Side of New York. Not a lot intimidates me.
URSULA BURNS My mother was amazing. I guess, in our community, if you wanted to get by you had to work hard. So s...
URSULA BURNS I'm less concerned about whether being a good corporate citizen burnishes a company's reputa...
URSULA BURNS I want to stop transforming and just start being.
URSULA BURNS I've had many mentors, but the one that has the most impact was my mother.
URSULA BURNS Crankiness is a human attribute that, when people walk in the door of Xerox, they remain human. The ...
URSULA BURNS The world is full of opportunities - every day there's something new that you can do. For exampl...
URSULA BURNS The best way to change it is to do it. Right? And then after a while you become it, and it's eas...
URSULA BURNS Impatience is a virtue.
URSULA BURNS As I've progressed in my career, I've come to appreciate - and really value - the other attr...
URSULA BURNS I realized I was more convincing to myself and to the people who were listening when I actually said...
URSULA BURNS Find something that you love to do, and find a place that you really like to do it in. I found somet...
URSULA BURNS It's not a matter of vanity; it's a matter of sanity. I'll never look forever young, but...
PETE BURNS If one of my players ever wants to hit me, he better do it really hard because otherwise, I'll f...
PAT BURNS Excuse my voice - I don't have the thundering voice I used to have to get players going on the i...
PAT BURNS I believe in Wendel Clark. We want Wendel to be a prime-time player.
PAT BURNS They're trying to kill me before I'm dead. I come to Quebec to spend some time with my famil...
PAT BURNS The kids get cheated out of a lot of times with their dad. They were good about it.
PAT BURNS Toronto was a great place to work, a fun place to work. People were so hockey-oriented, hockey-minde...
PAT BURNS Coming to another hockey Mecca like Toronto makes you a better coach. I want to have fun again. I wa...
PAT BURNS As for my career, I always said to my kids, 'you don't cry because it's over, you're...
PAT BURNS I know my life is nearing its end and I accept that.
PAT BURNS Coaching the Bruins is like going bear hunting with a butter knife.
PAT BURNS I'm not an overly happy person. There are times when I'm happy, and that's usually in my...
PAT BURNS I got hit with an octopus in Detroit one time. It was the most gross thing I've ever had happen....
PAT BURNS It was a lovely feeling, dying. I can remember being in the hospital, all wired up to tubes and thin...
PETE BURNS I think we too often make choices based on the safety of cynicism, and what we're lead to is a l...
KEN BURNS I don't believe that a hydrogen economy depends on a carbon economy at all.
LARRY BURNS Fuel cells create a better automobile that's 50 percent more energy-efficient overall and sustai...
LARRY BURNS My natural color is dark blond, but right now I like being a brunette. I did a movie last summer and...
BROOKE BURNS We started on April 1, 2003. So long ago, you couldn't watch video in a web browser; you had to ...
BURNIE BURNS I never had posters on my walls, and I didn't have any icons, either. I come from a small villag...
PETE BURNS Nae man can tether time or tide.
ROBERT BURNS An Atheist's laugh's a poor exchange For Deity offended!
ROBERT BURNS I have a big personality, and I think big personality plus blond hair makes me come across as glib. ...
BROOKE BURNS Got no check books, got no banks. Still I'd like to express my thanks - I got the sun in the mornin'...
IRVING BURNS Kings may be blest, but Tam was glorious, O'er a' the ills o' life victorious.
ROBERT BURNS I have regular peels and Botox. It's something I'll always do. People redecorate their homes...
PETE BURNS His locked, lettered, braw brass collar, Shewed him the gentleman and scholar.
ROBERT BURNS Hope springs exulting on triumphant wing.
ROBERT BURNS Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be for...
ROBERT BURNS The landlord's laugh was ready chorus.
ROBERT BURNS O, wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!
It wad frae monie a b...
ROBERT BURNS Let us do or die.
ROBERT BURNS Prudent, cautious self-control, is wisdom's root.
ROBERT BURNS Critics! Those cut-throat bandits in the paths of fame.
ROBERT BURNS Learn taciturnity and let that be your motto!
ROBERT BURNS When chill November's surly blast make fields and forest bare.
ROBERT BURNS Had we never lov'd sae kindly, Had we never lov'd sae blindly, Never met -- or never parted -- we ha...
ROBERT BURNS Suspense is worst than disappointment.
ROBERT BURNS A good manager is a man who isn't worried about his own career but rather the careers of those who w...
H.S.M. BURNS The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men
Gang aft agley.
ROBERT BURNS Their sighing , canting , grace-proud faces, their three-mile prayers, and half-mile graces.
ROBERT BURNS Dare to be honest and fear no labor.
ROBERT BURNS The Thames is liquid history.
JOHN BURNS I want someone to laugh with me, someone to be grave with me, someone to please me and help my discr...
ROBERT BURNS How wretched is the person who hangs on by the favors of the powerful.
ROBERT BURNS The heart and benevolent and kind the most resembles God.
ROBERT BURNS I pick my favorite quotation and store them in my mind as ready armor, offensive or defensive, amid ...
ROBERT BURNS There is no such uncertainty as a sure thing.
ROBERT BURNS Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised th...
ROBERT BURNS Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!
A farewell, and then forever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll ...
ROBERT BURNS The great Creator to revere
Must sure become the creature;
But still the preaching cant forbea...
ROBERT BURNS His locked, lettered, braw brass collar, Shewed him the gentleman and scholar.
ROBERT BURNS Gars auld claes look amaist as weel's the new.
ROBERT BURNS The daisy's for simplicity and unaffected air.
ROBERT BURNS Even thou who mournst the daisy's fate, That fate is thine--no distant date; Stern Ruin's plou...
ROBERT BURNS Man's inhumanity to man Makes countless thousands mourn!
ROBERT BURNS It is cruelty to be humane to rebels, and humanity is cruelty. [Fr., Contre les rebelles c'est cru...
ROBERT BURNS Ilk cowslip cup shall kep a tear.
ROBERT BURNS And wild-scatter'd cowslips bedeck the green dale.
ROBERT BURNS Contented wi' little, and cantie wi' mair.
ROBERT BURNS I'll be merry and free, I'll be sad for nae-body; If nae-body cares for me, I'll care fo...
ROBERT BURNS To liken them to your auld-warld squad, I must needs say comparisons are odd.
ROBERT BURNS Without discipline the Army would just be a bunch of guys wearing the same color clothing.
FRANK BURNS