According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is beautiful and that she has red hair. I don't know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair. Red hair makes a man want to recover his health quickly, so that he can get on his feet and get the nurse off hers." - Groucho Marx, letter to his son
Groucho Marx
Related There speaks the passion and the rebellion that go with red hair. My second wife had red hair. She w... AGATHA CHRISTIE That red hair of hers was a warning signal. To this day I laugh at how she beat those boys. BRIDGET IDTENSOHN People with red hair are supposed to get mad very easily,...,and he had very red hair. J.D. SALINGER I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid. MICHAEL FELDMAN I love my red hair. It makes me spunkier. LINDSAY LOHAN She was a wonderful nurse that I would say every nurse should emulate. KIM ALEXANDER People always say you can't do a red lip if you have red hair but I've never shied away from... KATE WALSH I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ... ELLIOTT GOULD Her hair tells us she is Marlene Dietrich meets maverick. She's a woman who carries red hair beautif... COLLEEN ABRIE Some libertarians say, 'Well, if people work harder, they can make more money.' But, you kno... BEN HOROWITZ It has incredibly well -preserved orange-red coloring on the hair and eyes. JANE THOMPSON It was dark, so I couldn't make out much of her face, but she had brilliant red hair, like honey and... KIERA CASS Red hair stigmatizes you. DAVID CARUSO I can't feel exactly happy... "Nobody could that has red hair L.M. MONTGOMERY Xander Harris: Hair. Red. Red is good. Fire engines are red. Porsche's are red. CHRISTOPHER GOLDEN His mom's a nurse, and she gave us the approval tonight to let him go all the way. LYNN BARBER I did feel funny about being fair and having red hair and freckles. I did not like that because I gr... PATTI SCIALFA I have had every hair color. I joke with my hair colorist. She keeps sheets of paper on every hair c... BRITTANY SNOW Oh, most unhappy man,' he cried, 'try to be happy! You have red hair like your sister.' My red ... G.K. CHESTERTON [a rural bible belt town that goes on for miles and is strewn with debris and broken hearts. The nur... PATRICIA DUNN Precise historical reasons are difficult to pinpoint, but red hair, it seems, bestows a sense of oth... KATE WILLIAMS He lifted the lavender soap to his hair, and she squeaked. “You don’t use that in you... SARAH J. MAAS I remember once I read a book on mental illness and there was a nurse that had gotten sick. Do you k... ORNETTE COLEMAN When I died my hair red the first time, I felt as if it was what nature intended. I have been accuse... AMY ADAMS She was just getting it together-you know, going to be a nurse practitioner, going to school studyin... DEBRA JONES You saw the way everyone looked at him? And when I asked for nominations, his was the first name men... MICHAEL GRANT His face was glistening with cold. He was beautiful, the snow in his eyelashes like diamonds, the co... SARAH BLAKLEY-CARTWRIGHT Sarah (Buff) was hysterical because she thought her season was done. She came back as a fiery player... GEORGE DUDAS She said she was a nurse. I replied that she must have a lot of patience—and patients. I would hav... JAROD KINTZ I always had short hair, and I hated my short hair. I was always mistaken for a boy, but my mom woul... DOROTHY HAMILL My toes are a total wreck, my fingernails worse, and god knows my hair could use a registered nurse. JACK BUNBURY beautiful mama with the long red hair. LENNY BRUCE Her hair and arms are burnt red. LINDA HALE Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we at... LONI LOVE You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair, people who haven't red hair don't know... ANNE OF GREEN GABLES She had to live in this bright, red gabled house with the nurse until it was time for her to die... ... DAPHNE DU MAURIER I hope a few of them remember her. It was kind of hard to get all that information in three little l... JOAN JOHN I'm sick of having red hair, but people seem to like that aesthetic. RACHEL HURD-WOOD There are no captions on red-carpet photos that say, 'This girl trained for two weeks, she went ... EMILIA CLARKE His breath was warm on her neck as he bent his head, resting his cheek against her hair. Her heart b... SARAH J. MAAS I couldn't think of anything other than her and the components of her. For example, her red hair. Bu... STEVE TOLTZ Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe... JOHN LITHGOW I once had a friend who did the hair for sci-fi movies, and after a particularly bad break-up I stup... SALLY PHILLIPS It's a strange feeling. He has some of my mannerisms. He's a super guy. The red hair looks good. He ... RED DAWSON I grew up with Grace Coddington coming over to our house, like, all the time, but, like, she was jus... ANSEL ELGORT Do you remember,” he said, “when we first met and I told you I was ninety percent sure putting a... CASSANDRA CLARE Government has no right to hurt a hair on the head of an Atheist for his Opinions. Let him have a ca... JOHN ADAMS Mrs. Darling loved to have everything just so, and Mr. Darling had a passion for being exactly like ... J.M. BARRIE You don't have to lie to me to be nice, Jake. You can just say, 'Wow, your nails look crappy.'" I di... LIZ REINHARDT I'm not a natural redhead, but I enjoy having red hair. JANE LEVY Like all New York hotel lady cashiers she had red hair and had been disappointed in her first husban... AL CAPP The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ... GROUCHO MARX She looked up at Val. “God, can you imagine if I could get my hair to change color on its own?” ... ELAINE LEVINE I'm going to insist that a sign be on his door on the 5th floor. He is settled in ICU and our favori... SUE GREENE While only a rag doll with a few red yarn strands of hair, she has been loved for generations. Paren... MARIANNE SZYMANSKI I think my least favorite hair color was the hair color that I had in 'Pitch Perfect 2.' The... BRITTANY SNOW I love you," he said, holding her close and running his fingers through her tangled hair as if he co... DEBORAH BLAKE My English teacher has no face. She has uncombed stringy hair that droops on her shoulders. The hair... LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON [Johnny Damon , the Red Sox' center fielder who is in the final year of his contract, said he and hi... JOHNNY DAMON The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl. IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl. IRVING BERLIN Don't do that!" she exclaimed, shivering at the realization that it had been his fingers touching he... RICHELLE MEAD A person who pulls himself up from a low environment via the bootstrap route has two choices. Having... BETTY SMITH She mussed her red hair with her fingers and flashed a whimsical grin. “We’ve all heard stories ... MATT TOMERLIN The sun on a brunette's hair looks red. The sun on a redhead's hair looks like Heaven on Earth. UNKNOWN If you get hold of a head of hair on somebody you've never seen before, cut beautiful shapes, cu... VIDAL SASSOON And he'd railed at her, his voice booming so loud the bed had seem to shake. "You canna do this -... KRESLEY COLE I dyed my hair this crazy red to bid for attention. It has become a trademark, and I've got to k... LUCILLE BALL Someone once told me I looked good in red, so I bought every piece of clothing in red and bright-red... CAMPBELL BROWN Watching him, his hands buried in his pockets—to keep from circling her neck she supposed—she co... TRACY SUMNER But Jehoshabeath, the daughter of the king, took Joash the son of Ahaziah, and stole him from among ... BIBLE I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand ... AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS She stroked my hair and told me I was beautiful, but I was old enough by then to know not to believe... SARAH DESSEN I've been dressing Renee on the red carpet for the past three years, ... I think she always looks gr... CAROLINA HERRERA I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ... GROUCHO MARX Young Lafe Bud says he always hates t' get his hair cut cause it makes his hat look so old KIN HUBBARD The Man and His Two Sweethearts
A middle aged man, whose hair had begun to turn gray, courted two wo... AESOP Alysandir is a fine horseman," Isobella said. He was about to dismount, and she stepped upon a stool... ELAINE COFFMAN What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is s... JOHN GREEN What else? She is so beautiful. You don't get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is sma... JOHN GREEN I think it was my way of making her look beautiful every day and from the moment her hair was long e... DEENA EBRIGHT She wore red lipstick the next time that I saw her, though her hair was more voluminous with dirt th... KATHY ACKER Out of the ash I rise with my red hair And eat men like air SYLVIA PLATH My mother was a trained nurse, and she'd tell me that patients would fight as they were administ... MAEVE BINCHY Your child is going through hell. She doesn't want the nurse, she wants her mommy. JULIE SCHERF I love getting dressed up for red carpet events and having my hair and makeup done professionally - ... JESSICA ENNIS They have red hair. And same kind of nose. MARKKU JAASKELAINEN Zoe gave him a look that was difficult to interpret. Eventually she asked, "What makes you sure I co... LISA KLEYPAS A Macmillan nurse looked after mum when she was dying and she was fantastic. This party was for mum ... DONNA WHITE Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair. CRISS JAMI I know I want you," he heard himself say, all his vows and his honor all forgotten. She stood before... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN He is struck by her overview of his situation. It is as if she has understood his life. He is taken ... HILARY MANTEL Red is one of the strongest colors, it's blood, it has a power with the eye. That's why traf... KEITH HARING I thought I'd be edgy and dye my hair red. And I dyed my hair, like, Jessica Rabbit red. It kind... CANDICE ACCOLA Christ can forgive you," he whispered, though he didn't believe it. There wasn't a hint of compassio... STEPHEN M. IRWIN Benji usually tries to match his hair with his underwear, and you know how he had the pink hair for ... JOEL MADDEN I want Violet to be proud of every little thing that is her - her hair, her body. We're all diff... CHRISTINA MILIAN I was a Navy officer writing about Navy problems and I simply stole this lovely Army nurse and poppe... JAMES A. MICHENER Had she been born 500 years sooner, Raphael would have chosen her as a model for his cherubs. Tendri... E.L. KONIGSBURG To me, it's really easy to feel glamorous and beautiful with red lips. It's great because yo... RASHIDA JONES
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ... GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying. GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women. GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does. GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early. GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som... GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day... GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go... GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and... GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes... GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How... GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life! GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p... GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell... GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light. GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty. GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ... GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked. GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man. GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d... GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast. GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one. GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy. GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early. GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ... GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w... GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea... GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words.... GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age. GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I... GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early. GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad. GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract. GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it. GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that. GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes... GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app... GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it. GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young. GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he... GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every... GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta... GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ... GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man. GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party. GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse. GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ... GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I... GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han... GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA... GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ... GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again. GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ... GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e... GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t... GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member. GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.” GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ... GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te... GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ... GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t... GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ... GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju... GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book. GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels. GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet! GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have... GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere. GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it... GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong. GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others. GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself. GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I... GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ... GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live. GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it. GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid. GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution? GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels. GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair. GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stay... GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I... GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member. GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh... GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did. GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member GROUCHO MARX