FastSaying

...a woman's voice said, "if you've reached this message and you weren't trying to contact Regin the Radient" -

Regin?

-"then I know three things about you. One of my half sisters just tooled your ass and never wants to see you again. B. You're pop-culturally illiterate enough not to know this number is a song. And three, you'll never tell another male about this humiliating prank, so the number trick can be continued indefinitely. If however, you called for moi, then say something to amuse me after the beep."

..Just as he was about to unleash his wrath in a message, a computerized voice said, "Mailbox is full.

Kresley Cole

Kresley Cole

867-5309humorprank

Related Quotes

I had just heard tales that the Valkyrie were large warriors, akin to Amazons.”

“If you’re the sole survivor of an army attacked by us, are you going to say we had our asses handed to us by petite, nubile females, or by she-monsters who can bench Buicks?
— Kresley Cole
assumptionshumor
This is what it's all been about with you," he said in an even tone. "All the fear, all
the running. The nightmares." When she nodded, he said, "You called him the devil."
"He is." What are you thinking, Scot?
"But you... married him?"
MacRieve's disgusted with me. "Basically? Yes."
"Ceremony and everything?"
She swallowed. "He tricked me into it. I-I was only sixteen."
A muscle ticked in his cheek and his irises grew pale. "Then know this..."
She stopped breathing.
"Lass, I'm about to make you a widow--
— Kresley Cole
humorlykaevalkyrie
Yo, beautiful. Come pop this collar off me.”
Natalya hissed, “Are you mad?”
“What’s she gonna do? Vivisect me? Imprison me? We’ve got a pact to fulfill,remember?”
To Dorada, she cried, “Seriously, sweetheart, shake that mummified ass over here.”
Regin kicked the glass. “Lemme the fuck out—”
La Dorada swung her head around,peering at Regin with her one eye.
“Okay. That’s freaky. Lookit, Gollum, if you spring me, I’ll help you find your Precious.
— Kresley Cole
dreams-of-a-dark-warriorfunnygollum
There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon.

A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with.
— Andrew Hussie
humorprank
And if you don’t think I can hold my own against all those eighteenth-century mortals you were out tagging, then you’re a fool, Casanova.” ... “Oh, yes, I know all about you.”

He went still. “What are you talking about?”

“I was alive back then. And all the Lore heard about the ruthless warlord brothers from Estonia. The general, the scholar, the enigma, and . . . the manwhore.
— Kresley Cole
deep-kiss-of-winterfeyhumor