A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.


Artie Lange

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If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.
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If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
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Las Vegas without Wayne Newton is like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse.
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You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace."
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It's just fun just being a girl.
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It is a lie.
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I like being a Girl Scout.
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Life is a lot like skateboarding.
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It's kinda like being a freshman again. Just in a new place.
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The truest mark of being born with great qualities, is being born without envy.
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The truest mark of being born with great qualities, is being born without envy.
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The best way to learn to be a lady is to see how other ladies do it.
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There are no ugly women, only lazy ones
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Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
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[He considers me] just a uterus with legs.
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Being in Hollywood is like being in the Christian right these days.
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Being a lead role in a play in Vegas? Like, come on! How much bigger can it get?
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I think being in love with life is a key to eternal youth.
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For me, my life is a journey.
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Life is a risk.
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The sure mark of one born with noble qualities is being born without envy.
FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD
Living forever is easy: be born again. (It's the relationship with your Saviour that's difficult)
ABBY MOREL
True repentence is to depart from evil. A return to God, seeking his grace for power to obey him.
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Life is a journey. When we stop, things don't go right.
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intends to be at work on Monday morning. Probably more will be resolved then.
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my man, whatever he does.
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[The character is] basically me if I didn't luck out and get into show business,
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That was always a dream of mine,
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I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, ... I think people have the same reaction. It remi...
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Frank [Sebastiano] is a real writer, ... He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Ch...
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once you're laying motionless, h...
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my ea...
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When political correctness first started coming around, it ruined Andrew Dice Clay and Eddie Murphy&...
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Only when you're in that ditch, lying there in the muddy runoff you've made of your life, ga...
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The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for ...
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Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree ...
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People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he cre...
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big bei...
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You know you have a gambling problem when it's 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book and you're w...
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I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, i...
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and driv...
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, ...
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country...
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Woody Allen stayed so good because he never left New York. Howard Stern stayed so good because he ne...
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It's about softball, ... How as the guys get older and the relationships change, and softball is the...
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A big part of my living is my stand-up material on the road,
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intends to be at work on Monday morning. Probably more will be resolved then.
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my man, whatever he does.
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That was always a dream of mine,
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I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, ... I think people have the same reaction. It remi...
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.
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You haven’t lived till you’ve played Scrabble in a psych ward.
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You have no idea of the women I didn't marry.
ARTIE SHAW
You have no idea of the people I didn't marry.
ARTIE SHAW
Shoot for the moon - if you miss you'll end up in the stars.
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The last popular song that I loved was 'Living La Vida Loca' by Ricky Martin,
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He's an excellent all-around player.
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It was more than the lore of soccer tradition and more money that brought me over there.
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I suddenly discovered that acting made girls notice me.
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One of the things we're taught as actors is restraint - don't jump off the cliff.
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I talk to the universe all the time.
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I couldn't believe verse was supposed to be hard. It was a snap for me. I loved Shakespeare.
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I've always tried to explore the humorous aspects of life.
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I believe that what we call beautiful is generally a by-product.
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A camera teaches you how to see without a camera.
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Life, for people, begins to crumble on the edges; they don't realize it.
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While there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see ...
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I never felt like I belonged in Minnesota when I was growing up there. That's why I was out the ...
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For me, nothing has ever taken precedence over being a mother and having a family and a home.
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To my mind the election was stolen by George Bush and we have been suffering ever since under this m...
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What I love about photography, and it's the same thing I love about acting, really, is that it f...
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Sometimes parts just come along when it's the perfect time for you to do them.
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It comes down to something really simple: Can I visualize myself playing those scenes? If that happe...
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I love being a mother. I loved being a daughter, a sister, a wife. I love being a woman with men. I ...
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Because Shakespeare's language is so expansive, we're under this misconception that it's...
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If you're really in the process of photographing, you are absolutely aware. You are looking.
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I never think of the future. I never imagine what comes next.
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One of the things I love about acting is that it reveals a certain something about yourself, but it ...
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There's something magical still about it when I get in a darkroom, and you've shot a roll of...
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This idea of selfishness as a virtue, as opposed to generosity: That, to me, is unnatural.
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There are no explanations, there are no answers.
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Allow the diversity to exist. There is nothing wrong with it. Hell, we put up with the religious rig...
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Families survive, one way or another. You have a tie, a connection that exists long after death, thr...
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I've never been a sunny personality. I've never been outgoing. I'm a solitary person.
JESSICA LANGE
Photography was a blessing because it filled my time.
JESSICA LANGE
For me, acting was always a way to explore emotions - to dip into the well and really try to reach r...
JESSICA LANGE
I have been a waitress, and I was a damn fine waitress too, let me tell you.
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I, as prime minister, never went to Washington. Certainly never went to a presidential ranch. I hate...
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I worked on my voice for Sweet Dreams, but only to match my speaking voice to Patsy's actual sin...
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There are always people who make a big fuss over everything. At a certain point, I stop listening.
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The Olympics are not over yet.
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It's the Olympics and it's special, so I had to drive special.
ANDRE LANGE
I prefer to stop today rather than risk my participation in the Games.
ANDRE LANGE
A lot of nonsense is said. And after awhile you just stop listening.
ANDRE LANGE
So I wasn't too worried.
ANDRE LANGE
He was a very good sportsman. It was great fun to compete against him. He was always fair. I'm sorry...
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You have to talk about why things happened the way they did. You can't actually explain my polit...
DAVID LANGE
I regret those times when I've chosen the dark side. I've wasted enough time not being happy...
JESSICA LANGE
When I am home for like a two-year stretch, I get antsy, because I want to work.
JESSICA LANGE
Courage is the best word to use when talking about Matt. The kid's dedication to Navy basketball has...
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It's a mindset, a mentality. All our plays are run for Greg. He'll figure it out as he continues to ...
BILLY LANGE
Corey is ahead of schedule in his rehabilitation.
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It's tough. We're probably holding ourselves to a higher standard than we may be ready for but at th...
BILLY LANGE
We definitely have our work cut out for us. Beating Holy Cross on its home floor in a tournament atm...
BILLY LANGE
Their intensity was at a championship level. We played at that level for some stretches, but could n...
BILLY LANGE
They are tough. They do things that championship teams have to do. They defend, they are tough and t...
BILLY LANGE
I feel a lot better walking out of this game than I did Washington College. I just thought we played...
BILLY LANGE
We're a young, inexperienced team and program. One of the things you have to guard against when thin...
BILLY LANGE
A documentary photograph is not a factual photograph.
DOROTHEA LANGE
The words that come direct from the people are the greatest... If you substitute one out of your own...
DOROTHEA LANGE
Where there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see ...
DORTHEA LANGE
Photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by holding it still.
DOROTHEA LANGE
The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera.
DORTHEA LANGE
I can smell the uranium on your breath
DAVID LANGE
All launch preparations for all three launches are on hold at this point.
TINA LANGE
I've always tried to explore the humorous aspects of life.
TED LANGE
It is an embarrassing time to be an American. It really is. It's humiliating.
JESSICA LANGE
Military action on Iraq makes me feel ashamed to come from the United States. It is humiliating.
JESSICA LANGE
Yes, and you should question your government.
JESSICA LANGE
To my mind the election was stolen by George Bush and we have been suffering ever since under this m...
JESSICA LANGE
Pick a theme and work it to exhaustion... the subject must be something you truly love or truly hate...
DOROTHEA LANGE
I many times encountered courage, real courage. Undeniable courage. I've heard it said that that...
DOROTHEA LANGE
So much of my sense of who I am is tied to mothering. When they left home, I fell into a huge, empty...
JESSICA LANGE
Your children are grown and your career has slowed down - all the stuff that took up so much attenti...
JESSICA LANGE
A photograph is a portrait painted by the sun
DOROTHEA LANGE
To know ahead of time what you're looking for means you're then only photographing your own ...
DOROTHEA LANGE
O God, what offering shall I give
To Thee, the Lord of earth and skies?
My spirit, soul, a...
JOACHIM LANGE
Successful model? That's a myth. The year I modeled was the most painful year of my life. Editor...
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It is no accident that the photographer becomes a photographer any more than the lion tamer becomes ...
DOROTHEA LANGE
Matt was like Willis Reed coming back out of the locker room.
BILLY LANGE
Medical costs are rising significantly, so the fact that we offered a zero percent increase was subs...
TINA LANGE
It's a funny thing when you think you're dead. You're not terrified of it anymore. There...
DAVID LANGE
Basically, we were playing Hazel Park football. Our line gives a push on every single play, and I ru...
CHRIS LANGE
Hands off! I do not molest what I photograph, I do not meddle and I do not arrange.
DOROTHEA LANGE
My teeth are crooked, my nose is broken. I've never thought of myself as beautiful
JESSICA LANGE
[Conklin] started out a little slow, but he picked it up at the end. It's redundant, but if you wres...
JOHN LANGE
I couldn't believe verse was supposed to be hard. It was a snap for me. I loved Shakespeare.
TED LANGE
This benefit of seeing... can come only if you pause a while, extricate yourself from the maddening ...
DOROTHEA LANGE
What I've found is that firms here, by hook and by crook, will train their own employees. I've seen ...
WADE LANGE
My life is ungrateful to me. I do so much for it to be comfortable, and still, it repays me by throw...
LANGE WEILE
We want to protect other citizens from these types of things.
BOB LANGE
There's really nothing that can be done on old architectures that were not engineered to these requi...
BOB LANGE
For example, you are traveling at speed over a hill and my car is stalled at the bottom of that hill...
BOB LANGE
That game was decided long before it began. We came out with a very offensive-minded attitude instea...
BILLY LANGE
I thought Jay Greene did a great job of driving the ball and finding open men. His ability to break ...
BILLY LANGE
I thought Greg did a very good job of taking the ball and showing leadership.
BILLY LANGE
I'm very fired up about Greg beginning to get it. When Greg plays with confidence, he is a very good...
BILLY LANGE
I thought this was our most complete game of the season, by far. I like where we're headed. I'm happ...
BILLY LANGE
I thought we handled their run tremendously. That is the biggest difference in this team from last y...
BILLY LANGE
It's just an attitude a team develops. You can't hide a bad defender. Everybody on the floor has to ...
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I don't care about points or stats or anything like that. All I care about is seeing our team play w...
BILLY LANGE
The ODT Conference & Expo is directly aligned with our initiatives here.
WADE LANGE
One should really use the camera as though tomorrow you'd be stricken blind.
DOROTHEA LANGE
There has to be a movement now to really oppose what he is proposing because it's unconstitutional, ...
JESSICA LANGE
I recognize their good intentions, however I think their position is wrong. Withdrawing our troops w...
JESSICA LANGE
It is an immoral war that they are beginning and we must not be silenced. We have to be able to stan...
JESSICA LANGE
I hate Bush, I despise him and his entire administration.
JESSICA LANGE
Where there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see ...
DORTHEA LANGE
There was no end to his vanity.
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What New England is, is a state of mind, a place where dry humor and perpetual disappointment blend ...
WILLEM LANGE
I got a cat up there that's going to die.
JOHN LANGE
I had been brought up in the law and had this sort of instinct that international law operates and w...
DAVID LANGE
We saved money by cultivating a garden, and it never really occurred to us that most folks bought th...
TED LANGE
We never thought of ourselves as poor.
TED LANGE
And do I pray. God, do I pray.
TED LANGE
I constantly listen to the universe, and I advise all other artists to do the same.
TED LANGE
I seek a deeper truth, but I don't think I have to go to a building designated for worship to find i...
TED LANGE
The good news is that the risk perception is sinking, and attitudes are rising as the current econom...
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The visual life is an enormous undertaking, practically unattainable.
DOROTHEA LANGE
It is not enough to photograph the obviously picturesque.
DOROTHEA LANGE
Seeing is more than a physiological phenomenon... We see not only with our eyes but with all that we...
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Swimming worldwide has changed dramatically and reached new professional levels. My strategy is to b...
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We want nothing less than to be the best in the Commonwealth and I believe that can happen.
DIRK LANGE
Migrant Mother, Nipomo, California
DORTHEA LANGE
No country has ever closely scrutinized itself visually.
DOROTHEA LANGE
what sort of society do you want?
DAVID LANGE
I think more than anything, that's when I decided politics was on.
DAVID LANGE
You are the only ambassador in the world to race a horse named after your country's foreign policy.
DAVID LANGE
The people who are garrulous and wear their heart on their sleeve and tell you everything, that'...
DOROTHEA LANGE
It is completely unacceptable how patients are treated by some of the staff and something has to be ...
DE LANGE
One should really use the camera as though tomorrow you'd be stricken blind.
DOROTHEA LANGE
I believe in living with the camera, and not using the camera.
DOROTHEA LANGE
A camera is a tool for learning how to see without a camera.
DOROTHEA LANGE
Surefire things are deadening to the human spirit.
DOROTHEA LANGE
Thanks to that backstop, the parents can go into the transaction with a lot more confidence.
JAMES LANGE
It's tax diversification. If tax rates go up, it would be nice to have a fund that you don't have to...
JAMES LANGE
Their alcohol consumption levels haven't dropped much, but their drunk driving has.
JAMES LANGE
One minute I was a clapped-out, two-guinea, legal-aid lawyer, and the next minute I was in parliamen...
DAVID LANGE
This is the difficulty about talking about it without sounding big-headed, but you cannot speak of N...
DAVID LANGE
There has been evidence that children have been slowing down mentally and physically, having physica...
LISA LANGE
That money will do no end of good.
LAURA LANGE
Anything below a B-, for my whole life has been unacceptable.
LAURA LANGE