A pessimist is a person who has to listen to too many optimists.

If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity marry, and perpetuate his kind.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.