98% of the things said by a drunk man are true; 98% of those said by a horny man aren’t.

*Forever* is an illusion that human beings promise each other when they are horny, or, trying to appear holy.

For the duration of his erection: To a horny man, all women are the most beautiful woman in the world.

A horny man is seen. A horny woman is heard.

There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with.

There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with, or, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.