- Child is abused, perpetrator threatens to hurt mother. Child feels protective of mother. - Struggle to escape perp reinforces feelings of mutual protection. It's Mom and I against the world. - Something necessary at the time later creates "enmeshment." Child doesn't see her actions as separate from mother. Even during normal adolescent individuation. But-- - Normal individuation doesn't happen in abuse survivors. They don't feel normal, so they-- - Act out in unhealthy or self-destructive ways, which creates-- - Fear and pain for mother, which creates-- - Guilt for child who still feels responsible for mother's emotional health. - Child seeks release from the guilt and from not feeling normal, which leads to-- - Escape to the world of other not normal people, where mother can't see her child self-destruct, which leads to-- "The bad news.
Claire Fontaine
Related A little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd made in class.She danced into the kitchen ,... MITCH ALBOM Once in royal David's city Stood a lowly cattle shed, Where a Mother laid her Baby In a ma... CECIL FRANCES ALEXANDER You—you were like me. You were a child. A normal child. And that was taken from you.” SABAA TAHIR For a mother is the only person on earth Who can divide her love among ten children And each... ANON. It is raining in my heart. Humanity is shedding a tear. I asked, “Who is suffering?” DEBASISH MRIDHA M.D. Like Jocelyn, Survivors often think: * That’s just the way I am * I’m not lovable, that’... CAROLYN AINSCOUGH She was—of course—perfectly normal— quiet and polite and reasonably intelligent... TAH THE TRICKSTER I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, Mother, what was war? EVE MERRIAM From the Kindle Book Reflections in the Mirror of Life: “In a slum somewhere in India As... THE PROPHET OF LIFE GOD made a wonderful mother, A mother who never grows old; He made her smile of the sunshine,... PAT O'REILLY MOTHER LOVE IS THE FUEL THAT ENABLES A NORMAL HUMAN BEING TO DO IMPOSSIBLE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM BESTWISHESANDQUOTES.COM Lark’s Song That child who from Diana’s thought is born A huntress swift, who do... D. ALEXANDER NEILL Child, child, love while you can The voice and the eyes and the soul of a man; Never fea... SARA TEASDALE In some instances, even when crisis intervention has been intensive and appropriate, the mother and ... JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perf... FRANK PITTMAN Laughing like crazy the child goes back to the city gives birth to monsters creates e... NICANOR PARRA The concept of time, as it’s commonly understood by normal people with normal jobs and normal... TIFFANIE DEBARTOLO "The Lesson": Yes, my fretting, Frowning child, I could cross The room to y... CAROL LYNN PEARSON My mother was totally different from the mothers of my friends. She would never separate from me. In... CHANTAL AKERMAN Normal.... What the majority of people look, act, and talk and like. So what if the majori... ST. CATHERINE OF GENOA One must consider that small children are virtually incapable of making much impact on their world. ... SARAH E. OLSON Scenes from the Playroom Now Lucy with her family of dolls Disfigures Mother with a... R.S. GWYNN There’s nothing wrong with victims of any kind of abuse; they are perfectly normal. It is the ones... LATIKA TEOTIA Lady of the silver moon Enchantress of the night Protect me and mine within this circle fa... MADELYN ALT KINGDOM OF THE WOMB From her thighs, she gives you life And how you treat she who gi... SUZY KASSEM MY MOTHER GETS DRESSED It is impossible for my mother to do even the simplest... DAPHNE GOTTLIEB The sand in the hourglass runs from one compartment to the other, marking the passage of moments wit... VERA NAZARIAN From her thighs, she gives you life And how you treat she who gives you life Shows how muc... SUZY KASSEM Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child, Listen to the DON'TS Listen to the SHOULDN'TS The I... SHEL SILVERSTEIN I remember sitting in bed, as a child looking up at the ceiling I couldn’t sleep, of cou... JUSTIN WETCH Song of myself A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands; How cou... WALT WHITMAN It's not really science-fiction, ... It's the world 30 years from now, [a time] in which for 1... ALFONSO CUARON HARRY: “The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great ca... JACK THORNE You are a child of the universe Come to choose how to live here. You are a child of ... JAY WOODMAN Blood that was warm has now run cold bled every day have hearts become old Telling I am th... PRABHUKRISHNA M Venus of Eryx, from her mountain throne, Saw Hades and clasped her swift-winged son, and said:<... OVID (What are your ghosts like?) (They are on the insides of the lids of my eyes.) (This is al... JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER The tyrant is a child of Pride Who drinks from his sickening cup Recklessness and vanity,... SOPHOCLES Love Sorrow Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must take care of what has... MARY OLIVER A smell of burned hair and cotton wafted into the air as I spun toward my desk. There was a low whin... JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT Death is the mother of Beauty; hence from her, Alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams An... WALLACE STEVENS I speak of love that comes to mind: The moon is faithful, although blind; She moves in thought... ALLEN GINSBERG Free Shoes The pairs of shoes stand in rows, polished and jet, like coffins... SHARON OLDS What do you think it is to be normal?' Why in the world would you want to be?' she says. I... PATRICK JONES To country people Cows are mild, And flee from any stick they throw; But I’m a timid tow... T.S. ELIOT Happiness There's just no accounting for happiness, or the way it turns up like a pr... JANE KENYON Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear! Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend To make ... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Your daughter is ugly. She knows loss intimately, carries whole cities in her belly. ... WARSAN SHIRE Listen to the mustn'ts child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn't haves, the impossi... SHEL SILVERSTEIN Child! Do not throw this book about; Refrain from the unholy pleasure Of cutting all the pictu... HILAIRE BELLOC No Child of Yours I saw a child hide in the corner So I went and asked her name TERESA COOPER Original Poems for Infant Minds My Mother Who ran to help me when I fell, And would some prett... ANON. I thought I was growing wings— it was a cocoon. I thought, now is the time to step... DENISE LEVERTOV Was it the act of giving birth that made you a mother? Did you lose that label when you relinquished... JODI PICOULT I love my mother. My mother loves my dad. Those two facts are undeniable. JOHNA PASSARO The only ghosts, I believe, who creep into this world, are dead young mothers, returned to see... J.M. BARRIE Oh... Blip. Yeah, I see." He sounds distracted, awed. "Your child," I whisper. "Our child... E.L. JAMES Her self lagged behind her anger, like a mother picking up after a destructive child. MATTHEW DE ABAITUA Wasteland is land which is worthless for cultivation. Like a child who has been emotionally PANKAJ SUNEJA Love the world as the mother loves her little child. DEBASISH MRIDHA A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands; How could I answer the chil... WALT WHITMAN Demetrius: Villain, what hast thou done? Aaron: That which thou canst not undo. Chiron: Th... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Unless you are here: this garden refuses to exist. Pink dragonflies fall from the air and ... ABERJHANI I went to my grandmother, your great-great-grandmother, and asked her to write a letter. She was my ... JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER Yet I can’t bring myself to derail from her nor can I reject what I feel in the most primitive par... JOCELYN WHITE Someone killed my Mother and my Father and my Sister?" "Yes, someone did." "A Man?" "... NEIL GAIMAN I went to bed feeling melancholy, wishing I could have poured out all my fears and insecurities... RICHELLE MEAD The Author To Her Book Thou ill-formed offspring of my feeble brain, Who after... ANNE BRADSTREET Naive people tend to generalize people as—-good, bad, kind, or evil based on their actions. Howeve... SHANNON L. ALDER Be to her, Persephone, All the things I might not be; Take her head upon your knee. S... EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY Mother is one who only can give utmost protection to her child.. PUSPANJALI KAR if there are any heavens my mother will(all by herself)have one. It will not be a pansy heaven or... E. E. (EDWARD ESTLIN) CUMMINGS When sighs are hypnotized by sorrow Happy moments you need to borrow From a little child o... MUNIA KHAN It is mother's influence during the crucial formative years that forms a child's basic chara... EZRA TAFT BENSON This did not seem to reassure Nico. “I don’t like being in the dark,” he muttered.<... RICK RIORDAN Same-sex marriage would eliminate entirely in law the basic idea of a mother and a father for every ... KEITH O'BRIEN Verily, Allah enjoins justice, and the doing of good to others; and giving like kindred; and fo... MIRZA GHULAM AHMAD Father never approved of my toys Saw them as child's playthings I was a child T... T.P. LOUISE And now, for something completely the same: Wasted time and wasted breath, 's what I... WILL ADVISE There were a lot of these middle-aged single types in the neighborhood, shipwrecked by every kind of... JUNOT DíAZ My mother is my teacher Her words make me richer I thank you oh my mother May you gro... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor, What have you done to my boy? He's not flesh and blood, TIM BURTON These wrinkles are nothing These gray hairs are nothing, This stomach which sags with... MARK STRAND Love the whole world as a mother lovers her only child. BUDDHA Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth of a sweet child! Sorry that I couldn't wis... HASIL PAUDYAL Creatures of the Darkness BY VICKI JORDAN It was world of vampires and demons, wher... CHRIS COLFER There is a girl. I named her love. She has a father. His name is desire. Her mo... DEBASISH MRIDHA Know this, sivamet-this child will be mine. I will take Vadim's blood from you and exchange it for m... CHRISTINE FEEHAN If Mom is convinced that ballet lessons are a must, she should take them. Although i... RUTH MINSHULL They always say that the daughter will grow up to look like their mother. So, I asked my girlfriend ... ANTHONY T.HINCKS The eternal child. - We think that play and fairy tales belong to childhood: how shortsighted t... FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE The secret tugs at my sleeve. A child looking for attention. It is not a big secret. ... ADELHEID MANEFELDT Are the gods not just?" "Oh no, child. What would become of us if they were? C.S. LEWIS Though we might have precious little It's still precious I like that song about this... RUSH You love your virtue as the mother her child; but when was it heard of a mother wanting to be paid f... FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE You love your virtue as the mother her child; but when was it heard of a mother wanting to be paid f... FREDRICK NIETZCHE Do you like flowers, Lady Eleanor?" It was him speaking. Lord Blunt. Asking her opinion on some... MEGAN FRAMPTON The following are not my words, i have seen it some where . But i wish to share it here for every on... ANOOP ASHOK Harper: In your experience of the world. How do people change? Mormon Mother: Well it has... TONY KUSHNER Every time you tell your daughter you yell at her out of love you teach her ... RUPI KAUR
More Claire Fontaine
Pessimistic" is a word for "realistic" that optimists use to make themselves feel better (about thei... CLAIRE Mia: I was sixteen when I first realized my mom was more concerned about my appearance than I was…... MIA FONTAINE Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances. LA FONTAINE My record of 13 goals in the World Cup finals still stands. JUST FONTAINE I've flown in an international balloon race. I've piloted my own plane. I've ridden to t... JOAN FONTAINE Nothing is useless to the man of sense, he turns everything to account CHARLES FONTAINE The public is willing to pay tolls. What they're not willing to do is stop and pay at toll booths. JEFF FONTAINE Were David Sarnoff alive today, there would almost surely be no place for him in the company [RCA] h... CHARLES FONTAINE Just as XML is taking over integration categories, people will choose ODF. ARTHUR FONTAINE It's like a malady you always manage. You never cure it. ARTHUR FONTAINE It's like any other direct marketing activity. It's not how much you send out, it's how many hits yo... ARTHUR FONTAINE The main problem in marriage is that for a man sex is a hunger like eating. If the man is hungry and... JOAN FONTAINE The main problem in marriage is that for a man sex is a hunger like eating. If the man is hungry and... JOAN FONTAINE In the acquire-or-be-acquired corporate mayhem of the 1980s, the mantle of management has passed to ... CHARLES FONTAINE I think it is an isolated situation. It's just a piece that wore out. I don't think it's symptomatic... JEFF FONTAINE You never know how important something is, until it's gone. JULIAN FONTAINE Don't let people run your life. It's yours. You run it, the way you want it. JULIAN FONTAINE "When you are not looking, they find you, the people that you always missed when you were looking."
... RACHAEL FONTAINE Gray wolves are very hardy, very tough and can withstand a lot. JOE FONTAINE If I can go on stage in a bikini and heels and still show I am confident and I like how I look no ma... MARLIA FONTAINE People who have nothing to give, tend to give the most. JULIAN FONTAINE I hope I'll die on stage at the age at 105, playing Peter Pan. JOAN FONTAINE It's a disaster. I've lived all over Canada and it's the worst ice storm I've ever seen. COLETTE FONTAINE Be honest with yourself. Think about the necessary steps to get there. MARLIA FONTAINE Always think big and go for your goals. MARLIA FONTAINE Besides, teams are less attacking now. JUST FONTAINE Only two journalists followed the team around. JUST FONTAINE My mind was not on the record - I turned down the chance to take a penalty in the third-place game. JUST FONTAINE Nowadays, as soon as a striker scores three goals, everyone starts asking him about it. JUST FONTAINE I spent my first twenty years in Morocco, where I coached the national team. JUST FONTAINE I think I'll take my record of 13 goals to the grave. JUST FONTAINE As soon as he thinks about the record, he's finished. The secret is to put it out of your mind. JUST FONTAINE Fifth is great, especially as I was forced to retire when I was 26 - right at the moment when I was ... JUST FONTAINE To beat my record, a side would really have to go for it, or a player would need to go on a goal spr... JUST FONTAINE One of the concerns is that if we wait to build, the cost of construction will continue to escalate,... JEFF FONTAINE It's a condition of the need for revenue and the evolution of technology. Even at the national level... JEFF FONTAINE We're looking at where it has been used. JEFF FONTAINE If people were not asking these questions, we'd be in worse shape. It's all out in the open now. I t... 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CLAIRE HOLT The airplane should have landed early this morning. I heard on the radio it had crashed. I don't und... CLAIRE RENETTE Dickens belongs to the English people. CLAIRE TOMALIN The feat of surviving is directly related to the capacity of the survivor. CLAIRE CAMERON Often there are not enough adult bodies in a classroom, which boosts the stress level for everyone. ... CLAIRE LERNER We shouldn't deny the right of the minority to filibuster, but we need to do a much better job o... CLAIRE MCCASKILL Yeah, there was the Flora Plum thing, where I trained for about a month and I had taken a semester o... CLAIRE DANES They have not been given a strong enough message about the health risks of oral sex. CLAIRE BRINDIS We have a lot of unfinished business. There's so much we still want to do. CLAIRE FAUCHER Harvey Pitt is doing a great job and he has an incredibly strong record in terms of enforcement, CLAIRE BUCHAN If you do something that you're not genuinely passionate about, it is a little soul-crushing. Ju... CLAIRE DANES I've always very earnestly tried to do my best, so I just have to trust that and forgive myself ... CLAIRE DANES I think, whenever you're doing anything, you don't want anyone anywhere to watch it and thin... CLAIRE FOY Bread, potatoes, rice and pasta are starchy carbohydrates, which should make up a third of your diet... CLAIRE WILLIAMSON I didn't foresee my career. Things happen. CLAIRE DENIS Counterterrorism isn't really about the nunchakus, the guns and gadgets. It's about psycholo... CLAIRE DANES I think they're both inward-looking. That's the most obvious parallel between the two, CLAIRE DANES I'm an illegal alien and have been for many years. If you rub my skin, I go green. CLAIRE FORLANI Two non-governmental organization vehicles were reported stolen in the past four days and other part... CLAIRE BOURGEOIS Kids are in a total vacuum. Teachers and staff are in a partial vacuum. None of the federal agencies... CLAIRE BARNETT I think a film noir demands a beginning and an end. CLAIRE DENIS I'm the only United States Senator in the country that I'm aware of that's had the far l... CLAIRE MCCASKILL My mother's father was from Brazil - a painter, and not a famous one - and was always broke. But... CLAIRE DENIS We wanted a delegation with diverse backgrounds to appeal to as many people here as possible. CLAIRE HALPRINE Money is only irrelevant if you have it, CLAIRE DANES I was haunted by a bear attack that happened in Algonquin Park in 1991. The problem was that I don... CLAIRE CAMERON The cinema should be human and be part of people's lives; it should focus on ordinary existences... 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CLAIRE TOMALIN With the royal family, you don't want to see them as people because it takes the sheen off. They... CLAIRE FOY I believe that, in an ideal world, writers would feel free to write what matters to them without hav... CLAIRE MESSUD He is part of a whole series of different things we're going to do at Fidelity. CLAIRE HUANG I started in the mailroom, literally, as an intern... in 1974. The legislator I was working for at t... CLAIRE MCCASKILL This measure is temporary. We have kept enough staff in field offices to continue delivering service... CLAIRE BOURGEOIS I feel that when we look at what's going on in the world and fossil fuels and all the problems with ... CLAIRE ROBY It's been a great privilege to see how interwoven nations are and how incredibly complex these r... CLAIRE DANES I would like the UNCW Surf Club to be a place for all students no matter what ability to come togeth... CLAIRE MAGEE During the warmer seasons we have weekly Surf Clinics that members can either surf or choose to just... CLAIRE MAGEE She would've been huge (Thursday) night. We had our top go-to player go down and we're still playing... CLAIRE FAUCHER I played a girl. There's really nothing controversial about her. She's just fine. She has to be fine... CLAIRE DANES I think the challenge in transforming an industrial brand into a luxury brand should not be underest... CLAIRE KENT But a group of toddlers making up a story together is a much richer learning experience than draggin... CLAIRE LERNER The island is a one-stop shop for wilderness and outdoor adventure. You can get your feet dirty by d... CLAIRE ELLIS When you have countries that have a lot of minerals and diamonds and oil and are in business with co... CLAIRE DENIS The political system loves the extremes, it doesn't so much show a lot love for the moderates. CLAIRE MCCASKILL I'm a moderate. I hang out in the middle. I vote against my party with some regularity and try t... CLAIRE MCCASKILL We're all living in some state of illusion, even if modestly. CLAIRE MESSUD Many of my favorite survivors in fiction show that it may not be the most muscled, macho or mighty p... CLAIRE CAMERON I do know how to fire a machine gun, so be warned! I'm trained! CLAIRE DANES I have to say that my dad's face is very malleable. He's barely got any cartilage in his fac... CLAIRE DANES On her chart battle with other Steps member Faye: "This will be a case of may the best woman win - a... CLAIRE RICHARDS I've never dated (casually). Ever. It's kind of weird. I did have a boyfriend in junior high who was... CLAIRE DANES She came to my house one day and said, 'I'm taking you rowing. You don't need to see to row. Let's j... CLAIRE GILBERT